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talking to myself

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personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

Zingy

Zingy I wonder if it is true, that those who believe in God like I do, are in fact mentally deranged. I don't think I am crazy, zingy, or an air head, however, it is said that crazy people are the last to know. Perhaps the same could be said for those without faith? Who knows, perhaps we are all crazy. (Well the shadow knows, but he is not telling anyone, he could afterall be crazy as well) Best to keep a sense of humor in anycase.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Zacchaeus (The tax collector)

Zacchaeus (The tax collector) A man reviled by his own people, and rightly so, for he was a thief, a heartless man, greedy and fat with avarice, a man whose heart was tight, unfeeling towards the suffering and struggles of others. He was a tax collector, a man who stole from his own people to enrich himself. He took what Rome demanded in taxes, charging more for him-self, keeping many in poverty. A man who was without mercy for others, alone, his only friends would be others

markdohle

markdohle

 

Your Son, Father, you let die

Your Son, Father, you let die O Lord of the Universe, I bow to you, you are love this I believe, yet so much pain, how and why is there no answer? Jesus sweated blood, he prayed in faith to you, “O Father my Father let this pass yet your will be done” Your son, Father, you let die, he bled out nailed to the wood, naked, in shame, no dignity at all. He cried out with all of mankind “My God my God, why have you forsaken me”, yet he did not despair, hanging between two thieves. I see

markdohle

markdohle

 

Your longing to love, this is love

Your longing to love—this is love February 14—In a car. “You saw My kindness in the face of that young girl? Be like that always. If My followers were good to one another, the face of the world would be transformed.” “Your longing to love—this is love . . .” “In your soul there is a door that leads to the contemplation of God. But you must open it.” February 17—“Don’t Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 284-288). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. The Christian

markdohle

markdohle

 

You will become both Light, and Fire

You will become both Light, and Fire When you come to adoration, hold yourself before My Eucharistic Face like a mirror before the sun.  Thus will you capture the radiance, of my Countenance and the fire that blazes in My Heart; thus will you become both light and fire for souls plunged into darkness and hearts grown cold.  --In Sinu Jesu (When Heart Speaks to Heart).  No matter what religion one follows, or what spiritual path traveled upon, if it is not done in a mindful manner, it c

markdohle

markdohle

 

You never know what the day will bring

You never know what the day will bring I was talking with a man today. He seemed nice enough, 77 years old, homeless. We helped him out a bit. As I was driving him into Atlanta he told me a strange thing, and with a smile. He related how when he was a young man he killed a man with an icepick, it was self-defense he told me. He went to jail for many years. As we talked I wondered how many of us hide things and here was a man who was willing to share a dark secret with me, or perhaps he did

markdohle

markdohle

 

You never know

You never know I was at the VA yesterday. Met a few people, talked to an 88 year old who just wanted to connect with anyone and who was an interesting chap with a good story. There was a man in a wheel chair across from me and we also talked a bit. He looked about 40, but was actually in his early 50’s. Later I met him in the ENT inner waiting room after being called backed. As he talked with me, he shared some of his life and I could see that his smiles and laughing covered a great d

markdohle

markdohle

 

You never know

You never know Some people take a gun to their heads and pull the trigger, I have such a friend who did this a few days ago, a man of great intellect and faith, beat down by the ravages of depression. He lived through his attempt, now struggling to get back together, surrounding by friends and family, and yes prayers and love. None of us knows what we will face in the future, yet I believe he nor anyone else is ever alone, when the dark waters rise, and they sink, when their will is

markdohle

markdohle

 

You have to trust God

You have to trust God   “Although the life of a person is in a land full of thorns and weeds, there is always a space in which the good seed can grow. You have to trust God.”—Pope Frances   When people speak of virtues like patience and trust, some seem to think that it is a state that just happens. I have had people complain to me that they pray for patience but then have situations that make them impatient. We

markdohle

markdohle

 

You embrace our humanity

You embrace our humanity Sometimes my soul feels pounded, this pounding is done by me, and in times like that all I can do is pray, or scatter. To scatter makes things worse, to pray gives me a place to stand from, to open my heart in faith, knowing all is seen, I have nothing to hide, it is impossible, so no need to run for shelter, or to seek anything elsewhere. Oh Lord your mercy and love are infinite, our struggles you see and know, for you lived and walked amongst us, you suf

markdohle

markdohle

 

You can’t stop it, so get over it

You can’t stop it, so get over it, live your life I do not mind aging for myself, (though in my friends, well I do not like it, they're getting older) in any case, it cannot be stopped, little bits here and there reduced or lost, and body parts once taken for granted have to be attended to because of pain, energy levels lower and by 3 PM, well, let us say, I do get by, I read and doze off, then read again, my eyes work better on some mornings than others, quite a litany, so commo

markdohle

markdohle

 

Ying and Yang in perfect example

Ying and Yang in perfect example William was peaceful this morning, he smiled at me and even helped the best way he could, he also sang and has been doing so all day, a gentle tune without words, comforting in fact. He then talks to many from his past, laughs and thanks them; for what I have not idea. Other days are different, he yells and cries and strikes out, not knowing where he is, who we are, or what we are doing. The ying and the yang in perfect example, though I wish for

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yet we hope

Yet we hope We love and hate, fear, hope and can suffer crippling anxiety as well. We can also look upward and experience that life is about something wonderful, even if the journey is often filled with experiences that are often painful, out of our control and for many unceasing. Yet we hope and seek answers. Our longings are deep and profound; our seeking after ‘love’ is also an unending enterprise in the human endeavor, which goes beyond mere survival.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yet they continue, the good policemen and women

Yet they continue, the good policemen and women I have a lot of respect for the police. I believe that many of them, perhaps the majority become policemen and women because they actually want to serve and protect others. I have seen the police show concern and respect towards those who are disrespectful and call them pigs. Yet they continue. What they do, their good service goes unnoticed because they are simply doing their job. When people are honest, caring, and take pride in their w

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yet another study on prayer

Yet another study on prayer Recently, a good friend of mine sent me yet another ‘study’ on the efficacy of prayer; intercessory in particular. I have read a few of these ‘studies’ and they seem to contradict each other. We are into proving everything now. Even God is seen by many as just another ‘object’ in the universe. Part of the system and therefore should be able to be seen in some way that would prove that God does in fact exist. Or if not seen or perceived in a manner that can be v

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yet another human pursuit

The child was out playing one day, His mother watching from the bench, So beautiful and innocent the youngster, His life peaceful with loving parents, Extended family who loved and treasured him, As young children are. It happened so quickly, so sudden, One moment all things were well, When she looked away for a short time, then, It was as if the earth opened up and swallowed him, He was gone. Frantic the mother ran looking for her beloved son, Nowhere to be s

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yes! (God is faithful)

Yes! (God is faithful) The myth of the spiritual life is that we will one day reach perfection. If this is not believed consciously, then it is often operating on an unconscious level. For after all did not Jesus say: “Be you perfect as your Father is perfect”? So willpower (the will-to-power), can become the central operative in this seeking of becoming better and then moving on to faultlessness. Control, watchfulness, becomes the catch word, and well they should, but in the end the

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yes

Yes! When meditating on one of the final prayers of Jesus on the cross- “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me”; if pursued with diligence, can be transforming in how ones relationship with God is looked upon and also perhaps, how this is shared with others. For Christians, Jesus is an actual revelation of God. Christianity is more about a life and a person, than about the Bible by itself. The New Testament is a faith document passing on to those who would come after, their experienc

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yep, I have it....possibly

Yep, I have it......possibly Common sense is not so common. Voltaire I have a lot of common sense. For instance, last week it was 88 degrees in our church. So I was in the choir stall, and thought to myself “I think I am going to faint”. I did once in the Navy, too much time in the Sauna. So I stood there thinking that perhaps I should sit down and put my head down. “Nah” I said to myself “only ten minutes left”. Well I made it through Vespers. So see I do have common sen

markdohle

markdohle

 

Years with William

Years with William Well the years certainly fly by, it does not seem like I have been taking care of William for almost eight years now. Four of them however have not been in the lock down unit. Before he came to the unit, we only kept a close eye on him, to watch the progression of his Alzheimer’s which at first started off slowly. It was only when he became a flight risk that we had to bring him into lock down. Before that there would be flare ups, and of course erratic behavior but he

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yearning

There is a yearning in the human heart Often going without a name, Experienced as a wound by some, By others a simple longing. An inner thirst, Unquenchable, Showing no mercy to the Soul, Allowing no permanent rest Since it cannot be owned But only sought. This yearning points beyond what we have, It almost seems that we are also pursued. That being also yearned for Is what draws us forward. Seeking union with that which has no name, Nor form, Yet present in the

markdohle

markdohle

 

Yearning

Yearning There is a yearning in the human heart Often going without a name, Experienced as a wound by some, By others a simple longing. An inner thirst, Unquenchable, Showing no mercy to the Soul, Allowing no permanent rest Since it cannot be owned But only sought. This yearning points beyond what we have, It almost seems that we are also pursued. That being also yearned for Is what draws us forward. Seeking union with that which has no name, Nor form, Yet present i

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing….why?

Writing….why? I am amazed that I still write. Before I was fifty, sixteen short years ago, I had a dislike or an actual aversion for writing. When young I did some writing for classes, but apart from that, no, I had no inclination. The few times that I did sit down and try to scribe, what came out on paper only showed inner chaos and pain; no wonder I hesitated to continue that endeavor. I however did (and still do) love to read. I perhaps read too much, book after book, no doubt a w

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing those in prison

Writing those in prison For years I resisted writing to prisoners. First of all, some of them are con men and write only to receive money etc. So I let them know from the start that I can’t send them money, clothes etc, saying this has stopped some from writing to me twice. However some continue to write to me and I find it something that I enjoy and get more back than what I give. Many of these men just want to do time and get out and continue to live their lives. So I am trying to ke

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing prisoners is life changing

Writing prisoners is life changing I am amazed at how writing prisoners has changed me. Perhaps it is because they know on a very deep level the tragedies of life. Maybe not all, but those who take responsibility for their wrong doing seem to open up a door that can lead to deep conversion. Often being in prison, things can become very black and white. It can also make one aware of how important our small everyday choices can be. In dealing with others in an enclosed environment the in

markdohle

markdohle