Fork in the road
While I do think we are all called to simplicity. To a state of inner integration that is based on a trusting attitude towards life. There is nothing simple about actually arriving at that point. Until a conscious choice is made, many inner aspects of the personality may lay dormant, and by that I mean a lack of self awareness of some inner dynamic that can make life very complicated. For as soon as a desire is made for something better, a fork in the road suddenly appears
Simply focus
I have found that one of the best ways of allowing the mind to find some peace is to do something very simple, yet it also takes a certain discipline to accomplish. To focus on the task at hand is a form of deep meditation, since it allows the past ruminations and future expectation and anxieties to settle, at least for a time. In the morning, to simply brush my teeth, wash my face and then towel dry with intense yet relaxed focus is a good way to start the day. If this is d
Empty barrel
One day a lady I was talking to started talking about something I wrote. She said: My, your are together. I responded, no, you don't understand, I write because I am screwed up, and writing helps me to at least try to make sense of what my life is about. I think people who are together, really don't need to write. Like the the saying goes: "Those who know don't say:. I think I am more like an empty barrel, making noise hoping that some sense will come out of it.
Floating away
As I get older, food becomes more of a problem. It is like I am afraid of feeling empty, or trying to ground myself. I don't eat more, it is just the comfort foods that I crave, lots of fat and salt. Never could eat just three hundred potato chips, no, the whole bag. So I guess I have to face this issue, this fear of hunger and floating away. It seems it never ends......sometimes I get tired, but then I also find healing going on in spite of myself and it renews my faith in G
Start where you are
Mark, my friend said to me, I just 'limp' in my spiritual life. Well I responded that is better than crawling, and to crawl is better than dragging. Even dragging yourself is moving forward. All we can do is start where we are and go from there. He looked at me and said, that sounds too simple.....is it, I responded. To learn patience with oneself can be a very difficult process and painful.
Emotional energy
If our emotions are looked upon as just energy, then any emotion can be used as a focus and channel of prayer and meditation. Some emotions are pleasant and others very painful, they are reactions to either an actual event outwardly, or some kind of inner tape that rewinds itself with a slightly different scenario, each time another round is taken. It is the painful ones that perhaps need to be addressed, or perhaps the right word is to be let go of, to direct this energy
A simple word or touch
When I walked into the rec room here this PM, Ron was in a confused and angry mood. He yelled at me "whose side are you on". So I walked over and stroked his forehead and said; "Ron, I am always on your side'. He then smiled. Sometimes it does not take much to make someone feel better, this was one of those times, just a simple word and touch.
Not a morale agenda
They dying to self is not about some kind of morale agenda. When that happens, the heart of the life we are called to is lost and self righteousness is the result. We are called to trust in the process of our lives, to not believe what our inner voices tell us, or others for that matter. We are called to love others as we love ourselves. Can't see where self-righteousness comes in here. Love of God and others go together, which leads to true morality.
When you sing God laughs with joy
Tonight William was singing softly as we put him to bed.
Peaceful and happy this nice evening. When he sings I like to say to him:
"William, when you sing, God laughs with joy"
Sometimes when I say that this eyes open up amazed and he sings louder.
I think it is his way of praying now. Sometimes he cries when he sings,
almost a wail, at others, he laughs, then there are the days like tonight,
when his singing is peaceful and
Surrender
Moments can be intense….Our inner cacophony loud and out of control. It is then that complete surrender of that inner storm’ to the Infinite is called for, a just letting go and releasing. To surrender is not to ignore and repress the inner storm, but to realize that judging or arguing with oneself or repression for that matter, is only another continuation of cycles. Surrender allows the center which is stable, unmoving yet infinitely creative and loving to do its work. It is
Isolation is not solitude
The noise was extreme, as Ed and I entered the restaurant at the height of the lunch hour. All the booths were in use, so we went up to the counter, sat down and waited for the waiter to come and take our order. The place was extremely busy, with the staff behind the counter doing a kind of ballet, trying not to bump into each other and perhaps spill the order that they were all carrying. The cooks were frenetic with movements, quick, as they tried to keep up with
Luminosity
(feast day of the purification)
Today we light candles in our churches to commemorate the purification of Jesus and sing of his luminosity. From one candle a billion more can be lit…. the light is passed on and it never diminishes. The light we experience from Christ Jesus needs to be shared. Not so much by preaching (though that has it place) but through who we are in Christ. If we are filled with the love of Christ others will notice if we judge and are self righteous t
We are meant to listen
If there is not a a relationship with the more irrational and instinctive
sides of the self; a relationship that is not based on fear or
self contempt, then that which is feared and hated will scream
until heard, often after some event that happens to get our attention.
We are meant to listen with compassion to our inner pains,
angers and desires, as if they were little children trying to get our attention
Creative streak
I drove a friend to Hobby Lobby yesterday morning. I am not overly fond of the place but my friend loves it there. He is in his 80’s and is hitting a creative streak in his life. Each day when he arises, he can’t wait to start creating some kind of flower arrangement with the silk pieces that he buys. He is happy. Creativity and happiness go together and I for one would never discourage anyone from developing abilities to create beauty. Be it through dance, paint, flo
Tendency
Certain tendencies that I have are like seeds that I can allow to grow or not. If I don’t want them to take deep root, then I need to gently push in the other direction. Self centeredness is necessary for survival, but if taken too far, it becomes isolating and self destructive. Those who wish to save their lives at all cost will not only lose it, but will be left with nothing. Without self discipline directed inward, then everything we do for the outer world can be just compul
Don't look at your feet
Many years ago, when I was in the Navy I was trying to teach a young lady I was dating to dance. As I taught her I noticed that she was looking at her feet. So I said: "you can't dance while looking at your feet; just do it!"....well she did after a few lessons. The spritural life is like that. While it is true that we need to grow in self awareness, we should not let what we learn about ourselves take our focus away from the love that draws us. We are naked be
Sinking is easy
Jesus’ injunction to love ones-self, takes on deeper meaning when I am trying to follow the leadings of grace. It is a call to the death of a way of looking at my-self as well as the world….perhaps a death harder that I as yet understand…..for I still struggle with the temptation to give in to cynicism and even despair….sinking is so easy even if the fruit is personal disintegration.
Is it any wonder?
There are times when I think that the struggle to develop into a decent human being is like trying to ride a wild horse and tame it. You can hold on and try not to let the horse throw you, or run away with you. There are times when all you can do is to hold on for dear life. Reactions can be like that, instinctive stances of self protection that in many cases are not needed and can do great harm to others.
People, who are truly good (according to others estimation),
The corner
Fear causes withdrawal from new experiences.
Anxiety over what may happen is a good jailer
and anger, the kind that 'cuts off the nose to spit the face',
is the cement that can build a very small corner.
What we share
One way to help alleviate the pain caused by others is to think about them without rancor; to see them in the light of what is shared. We all have a past that has some pain and sorrow connected to it. This does have an affect on how we relate and respond to others, but also how others will respond to us. To understand that our enemies suffer the same way we do, may not improve the relationship, but it can lead to some empathy, which will lessen the power that we allow our r
When it happens
Trust comes into play when our naive ideas about God are faced,
and life is understood as a journey filled with meaning,
though it is often a hard and lonely road for us all.
Abba was the word Jesus used for God,
He trusted in his Abba even when the chalice was not taken away,
he drank it to the full;
easy no,
trusting yes.
Aging process
I think most people come to a place in their lives when things are taken away from them. Not so much by other people, but simply by the aging process. Driving is more difficult, energy levels drop, perhaps it is noting that the mind works differently and on some occasions not very well. It is really impossible to cling, because it is gone (whatever it is) before it is noticed. Attitude towards this development is important and I would suppose ones view of life also helps h
Little bits of disipline
I do know people who seem to be very consistent in how they live out their lives. I don’t mean in a directional sense, but in how they seem to schedule everyday along the same position and flourish. They are disciplined, focused and walk in fast quick steps throughout the day. They have set times for study, prayer, work and to put it mildly, do not waste time. Well the above is not me at all though I have little bits of it I guess, for I do get through the day and f
A gentle man
I find it amazing the weight people carry within themselves. I know it is common, for we each have our own burdens and sorrows and wounds that we carry. Along of course with the joys of life, that is mixed into the human journey. I talked with a man yesterday for a short time; he was elderly and had a gentle look about him. He lost his wife two years ago, cancer, and he was still grieving of course. They were married for 50 years and as he talked I could feel the longing h
Lord, Lord
It goes deeper than just saying ‘Lord, Lord’. The heart is seen only by God, for the rest of us it is a closed book that cannot be opened. For Christians, Jesus is the incarnation of God, yet we can often make him into a tribal deity, tamed, placed on a pedestal, and used to punish those we hate, dislike, or find embarrassing to have around. Who can understand the nature of infinite love? My mind closes down and becomes silent when I try to delve into this mystery of human fr
