Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

talking to myself

  • entries
    3,060
  • comments
    1,620
  • views
    679,242

About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

fragile

peace is so fragile the smallest thing can shatter, a smile not returned

markdohle

markdohle

 

Rectify

Rectify You have traveled far in your life, going from place to place, often expelled because of simply how your are, always thinking about some other environment, perfect, smooth, you so want that place, yet each time you move it is the same. For a while things go aright, then the replay starts over, is it some kind of a nightmare for you, the situation arising again and again, having to move on? Or are you good at looking at others, leaving yourself in peace, setting up hou

markdohle

markdohle

 

Not for isolation

Not for isolation He is a nice man, both gentle in some ways, rough in others. A normal kind of man, with his share of burdens and anguish, as well as joys and triumphs in his life. I have known him for about twenty years, Intelligent, insightful; which can lead to its own kind of suffering. He has a dual diagnosis for mental illness, a crushing burden for the one who has to carry it though life. Some are defeated by just one; he carries two, and is doing well. I won’t say he

markdohle

markdohle

 

alone

long slim beautiful in the gentle moonlit night the weed stood alone

markdohle

markdohle

 

Divine mercy

Divine mercy the infinite, also the eternal, without beginning or end; how can such a thing be grasped? when thinking of divine mercy, we can recreate God, again, with serious consequences in our own image. God is like us just much better, a projection of our best selves onto divinity, if true then we are all in trouble, which is what many feel when thinking about God. the people hid in caves saying let the mountains fall upon us, in their desire to hide from eter

markdohle

markdohle

 

Human mercy

Human mercy what is mercy? does it have a certain feel to it, is there a state in which one will seek it? why is it often joyfully accepted, yet seldom given out among peoples? thankful for the gift, often unable to pass it on to others….. why? the fruit of mercy, when come to full bloom, is like rain on the thirsty ground, dry, parched, life dormant, suddenly allowed to drink its fill, allowing new life once again to come forth. if one is deserving, then mercy is not n

markdohle

markdohle

 

The great illusion

The great illusion a time warp is what life’s become, hours can seem like days, days pass as if they were minutes, moments seem real, permanent, soon becoming vague memories, most sadly, or perhaps not, forgotten, our days doomed to oblivion remembering perhaps too great a burden, stored perhaps in some dark back room, some deep mostly forgotten basement of our minds, stacked in boxes high, like old papers wrinkled and forgotten, waiting in vain to reenter into consc

markdohle

markdohle

 

The only way I could

Pushing her cart old and tired, Muttering to herself, or others, who knows? Alone in a crowd, They flowed around her, Refusing contact, Both them and her and me, I whispered a prayer Embracing her the only way I could.

markdohle

markdohle

 

temporality

blooming in the morn flowers bright causing wonder sign of life’s fleeting our ground not solid, distant past, become our days, temporality embrace mystery our end sure, death will claim us the dark door beckons faith the key needed? its dark light gives some comfort, absurd for others unfulfilled our days, it seems we are far from home, what for our longing? clinging, desires die. seeking that which is not owned, just beyond our reach. in a desert lost thi

markdohle

markdohle

 

cleaved apart

cleaved apart truth stood with sword drawn whom the soul bowed down before cleaved apart set free

markdohle

markdohle

 

The key (haiku chain)

much chaos in life often the way hidden deep void beneath the path divine image dies blinded by light presses on groping true in faith being led unknown trust deeper, roots cling in faith embracing the Lord childish ways aside each time deeper mystery simplicity grown pain and joy the same each passes cycles complete clinging in true hope despair held at bay dark doubts faced with true courage pressing on in joy grace freely given humility grows apace self

markdohle

markdohle

 

We can drown

Truth seems to be owned by everyone, or so it is lived out. Something inward, subjective, ones own against all others. What is thought…. is truth, or what is perceived, is obvious, Ones religion, political party, or lack of, both are embraced tightly, A fortress against all others who dare to think or believe otherwise. God is like a spider living in the corner of one’s bedroom, Small, figured out, books used to buttress ones position, Holy writ, philosophers, men of science, used

markdohle

markdohle

 

Muted beauty

Muted beauty Walking around the wall at night Gentle light from church window illuming Colors transformed into deeper muted colors Changing how the simplest objects perceived. Simple greens become deepest Jade Leaves become different in their muted beauty Darker, deeper, richer, Gently swaying in the soft wind, Leaves nodding as if affirming my discovery.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Another trip

Another trip Well William is still with us. After we took him off some of his meds, he seemed to improve a bit, at least as far as his eating is concerned, which before was nil. He was slowly starving himself, so I am happy that we got that cleared up. Because of his age, he has not bounced back to the level he was at before; he is now pretty much chair bound. He has not been in his bed for months, he stays in his geriatric chair and it is what he prefers. When we try to put him into his

markdohle

markdohle

 

Mango tree

Mango tree standing tall calling mango tree filled with its fruit come and play with me. ripe repast giving fruit juicy ripe, red, ready for children to eat large branches to climb beneath its free cooling shade with joy we consumed juice filled with, so ripe our naked torso’s covered teeth with fiber filled finished with the feast we rush to the cool water joyful jumping in being a child happy it was something that just was looking back longing now lost I s

markdohle

markdohle

 

Mustard is messy

Mustard I went into town today, had to see the eye doctor, also go by the Pharmacy to pick up some medications that were ordered. On the way there I spotted a restaurant called the “chow dawg”, a place that I have passed often but never went in. Since I am a lover of hot dawgs, and of all things not good for me, I decided to go in and totally do what my doctor as advised me not to do, pig out. I ordered two hot dawgs, with mustard on the bottom of the bun, topped with lots of onions; you ca

markdohle

markdohle

 

Dubious mercy

Dubious mercy restlessness his life fighting those who want to help also calling out understanding gone confusion not accepting isolation trapped he eats yes and smiles his suffering decreasing his disease matured peace will perhaps come when it reaches it’s true end destruction of thought rest will come at last allowing life to flow by confusion now gone dubious mercy yes but true gift none the less allowing life’s end until the time comes allowing deaths

markdohle

markdohle

 

Each has their own

Risk not taken means no chance of loss, Or of gain, Safe one stays, untouched by life, No wounds to heal, Nor growth to attain, It is pain that propels us not pleasure, Contentment stagnates, Struggle causes rebirth, We must fight out of our shell Like the young do in their nest, To help only leads to death, Our wounds are our glory Each has their own invisible stigmata.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Coiled within

I often fool myself that I know the human heart, such conceit there is in me, Deep, dark, filled also with light, perhaps at war, is what is found, when peeked, Something is coiled deep with my own depths, something I wish was not there, Still it is, resides, often at rest if not sleeping………waiting for its call, to uncoil and rampage forth. How easy is hate to feel, seductive in its reasoning, contempt poured out on the despised, It hits me suddenly when I am most unaware, slinking up

markdohle

markdohle

 

True child (haiku chain)

the child beautiful simply by being itself collected their smiles dark hair beautiful brown eyes filled with loving light grace bestowed on all freely given smiles harvested laughter returned hearts open again power true is love drawing forth the inner good hidden behind fear often lost with age the child learns about our life imprisoned by hurt the child will return freedom will blossom again springtime of the soul God is a true child open loving all trul

markdohle

markdohle

 

Embraced we are

Nothingness is what I at times swim in Seeking to stay afloat with only void to sustain me Moments float away and fade like smoke Is there anything underneath? Fatigue rises up and claims my limbs Mind foggy my thoughts slow and shallow Wanting oblivion for a time Something deeper than sleep unresting Blackness without dreams for a time I desire Will I ever find true rest? It passes, seconds, moments and hours like these Like all else it dissipates replaced by something old

markdohle

markdohle

 

mystery

I have been reading the last of the Harry Potter books, and I must say it is a great read. For those who do not think that they will be taken over by demonic forces when reading it; to them I highly recommend it, all of the books of course. They are much better than the movies, though they are good also. Much of the time Harry has no idea what is going on, but he stays on course and in the end comes ahead of the evil forces he is fighting. Of course I have not finished the last book yet, b

markdohle

markdohle

 

Alone

Alone the soul alone knelt true knowledge of self humbling nothing to defend its darkness exposed stripped away its pretensions inner light focused seeking loves healing calling out for some surcease on its face falling swallowed in darkness its own self hell creating clawing with self hate memories painful endless cycle repeating holy name calling mercy came swiftly its joyful shout resounding embracing the soul the light surrounding inner healing begi

markdohle

markdohle

 

The smile

Sitting alone drinking her coffee Serene, her demeanor gentle, Our eyes meet briefly, She smiled Touching my soul. Did I touch hers?

markdohle

markdohle

 

Crystal

crystal glass alone table cloth beneath spread out filled with light glowing light flowing outward or light coming from within its beauty the same the light shines on all allowing beauty to be all equal before it’s glow truth born it’s genius all exposed mercy not there flaws shown no regard. light harsh or loving treated with justice severe none spared scrutiny crystal glass alone imperfections all to see mercy shows itself freely is given received in tur

markdohle

markdohle