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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

Flawless

Hair flowing loosely down Flawless skin daring touch I walked away afraid

markdohle

markdohle

 

Large cup

Large cup The large cup on its matching saucer, Waited, Its white emptiness expectant, Desiring to be filled, To accomplish what it was made for. Black liquid Bitter to the taste, Passively received, An offering for the one it served. Emptied, It was set aside, again. Only its whiteness remained, Cleaned; Longing again to be filled.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Undone

One man one women, Just another day for both, Unknown to each other, Just another lonely day, Then one look, A smile, Both became undone.

markdohle

markdohle

 

His eyes

His eyes He looked up Despair filled his eyes, I smiled, Saddened, Touched his shoulder gently, Continued on my journey.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Finally

Finally Dark clouds rolled gently in, Winds gathered strength, Heat retreated, Thirsty ground drank deeply When the rains finally came.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Spoken

Spoken The word was spoken In pain the words uttered Fueled by anger The bow let and it flew. Target found embedded What was once was is now no more Chasm deep where once there was none Only mercy the cure.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Memories

Memories One thing everyone has in common is memories, lots of them. Some events from the past are pleasant, others on the other hand can be horrible, and perhaps the majorities are a mixed bag. I find it interesting how at times a memory will suddenly float up from some dark chamber of my unconscious and present itself. I often have no idea why, perhaps there is no real reason, though I think otherwise. Even if I don’t always understand, which is a very common state for me to be in; I sti

markdohle

markdohle

 

Unfolding

Unfolding It is hard at times to understand what makes others tick, so alien we can be to one another. So much alike, yet vast differences can lead to times when building bridges is almost impossible. Simple gestures, carefully chosen words, even smiles, can be interrupted in ways not dreamed of. I have had this experience a couple of times in my life when this has happened. There can be a great deal of frustration from both sides. The only road to peace is to simply accept the impasse, and ho

markdohle

markdohle

 

Promised embrace

Promised embrace Walking the beach on a cloudy windy night, Low dark clouds swirling above, Moving fast in wave like motion Almost in sync with the sea below. Shoes soaked from the pungent salty tide, Tuxedo in disarray Torn and bloody…… Walking in shock not knowing where he is at, Only the deep sorrow of what just transpired his reality. A second is all it took, Only wreckage and blood the aftermath, Beloved dead the crash deadly Only the deep darkness of shock presen

markdohle

markdohle

 

Our calling

Our calling We pray together not apart, Before God we are one, “When I was hungry, you fed me”. Judging others, it is ourselves we show contempt towards, Trapped in a world of mirrors we cannot escape. Separation is not possible, The web that binds us is eternal unbreakable. Those we hate is where Christ is found, The undeserving those we should help, Giving love without recompense is our path, Our calling, What should be striven for, Failure a spur to keep on the way.

markdohle

markdohle

 

enough

The heart weighed down, With worries many, Anxious about what is to come, What is now, Alas also what was. From the depths of that same heart Silence came, Its gift given freely, Peace. Only the moment is real, All else falls away At least for a time, Yet is that not enough? A taste of hopefully what is to come?

markdohle

markdohle

 

The nature of things

The nature of things Sometimes when I arise early The moon still high in the vault above me, Only silence without, Traffic hushed for a time until the rush begins, Perhaps the wind gentle in its caress, Or crickets calling forlornly out for a mate, Is my company, Non-intrusive, peaceful, in the music that they make. As I sit in the quiet kitchen My morning ritual before me, Coffee, Coffee mate and sugar, Stirring slowly watching the steam rise before me, Rising beauti

markdohle

markdohle

 

Jabbering

Jabbering Isolation can sometimes close in, Like the smooth flowing of thick grey fog Rising from the warm earth into the cool night air, Blocking out the noise of speaking, Becoming soft muttering barely understandable, Comprehension nullified by simple absorption The fog of inner preoccupation. Words come in force, Jabbering, Or perhaps something important, It does not matter, Noises returned, Often just appropriate sounds politely made Giving the illusion of actua

markdohle

markdohle

 

Long forgotten

One day we all rest beneath the sod, Frantic activity once so important at an end, A marker placed for the few to see Passing by after we are long forgotten.

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is truly sought

What is truly sought The human heart longs for one thing only, Seeks that which will quench its inner thirst, Often taking paths leading nowhere Or perhaps destructive in their fruits, In the search for what it truly desires, If often misunderstood. Our songs tell of its agony and ecstasy, The pain deep that it brings, Also joys beyond bearing, Asking nothing less than everything. Parents know of this jewel, Also know the pain that it brings, The child more treasured th

markdohle

markdohle

 

Blah, blah, blah

Blah, Blah, Blah I went to the airport yesterday to pick up the brother of a friend. Atlanta airport is probably the busiest in the world at this time and growing faster than the space being allowed. So in the summer you can only imagine how bad it can be, and just before a holiday only adds to the mess. Sometimes even the hourly parking lot is full in the summer months, but I was lucky, I was able to get in, though it did seem to be filling up. The security was tight; there were police p

markdohle

markdohle

 

Drought

Drought The dry air hot beyond bearing, Microwave sun beating down on the earth, Dry parched looking in despair for life giving rain Patiently sets for what must come one day. Grass brown Dormant for the duration, Trees struggling with tap roots digging deep, Longing for wetness not felt for so long, Some dying slowly their deep roots lifeless, Forced to endure a long slow death, Even if the rains come. Thunder rolls across the dark sky, Winds come with traces of moistu

markdohle

markdohle

 

Kafka's castle

Kafka’s castle Slowly consumed by his mind’s forgetfulness He looks out in confusion trying to understand, “What the hell is going on”, At times screaming this for all to hear, Raging at what is perceived as false imprisonment, Fighting suffocation, Swinging out in fear and anger, Seeking for some kind of justice in a world gone crazy, Which never comes, In Kafka’s castle he wanders, Lost in dark corridors pursued by those who imprison, Reasons for never revealed Only s

markdohle

markdohle

 

Purgatory

Purgatory It is very simple really, Something so common that no notice need be taken, Simply put, He died. His life was ordinary like so many others, From outward appearances at least, Childhood, school, college, marriage, career, Some tragedy mixed among it all. It happened fast his demise, A statistical number he became, One of the ‘so many’ who die of a certain cause, Which is unimportant, He died that is all that is important. He found himself waiting, In a plac

markdohle

markdohle

 

Inwardness

The subject looked out upon the world, Filling its life with objects like pieces on a chess board, Striving to move them about for the inwardness’s benefit, Not understanding how things could rebel, Refusing to do it’s godlike will. Seeking freedom from the objects around it For the things did not do what the Id wanted, Withdrawing off the board of life Diving ever inward into to its own infinity, Finding only it own poverty and nothingness In the bottomless pit of its own de

markdohle

markdohle

 

That morning

The Sun shown brightly on the morning it happened, So much like any other day, Getting up going to work, School, Doing housework, Taking everything as if it would last forever. A small spark is it all it took. Flames on dry grass and trees, Exploded in a conflagration of destruction The fire hungry to feed for its continued existence, Racing through what was thought to be permanent, Until only ash remained, Some found their final resting place among the ruins. Dust to d

markdohle

markdohle

 

There all along

The desert within seems to reach towards infinity, Parched it longs for what will cause life to bloom, Driven by thirst it wanders empty, Longing to be filled with that which refreshes. Paths hidden beneath the dunes, Yet called forward, Or pursued in its wandering, The soul seeks without cease Driven at times to madness by its thirst. Oasis’s found that gives relief, Coolness to take away desire, Yet restless once again it is forced away Not knowing the why of restlessne

markdohle

markdohle

 

A tango of sorts

Our inner lives are deep and mysterious Seeking expression in ways often humiliating, If allowed to fester in the dark regions Energy growing, Stronger, maturing the more ignored, Causing dis-ease with their impatience To experience the light of day Away from the infinite depths of the unconscious. Knocking, Pounding like infants seeking attention, Ripping apart the world without Reflecting the chaos within. Mirrors faced with images unwanted Others carry what is feared

markdohle

markdohle

 

More on William

More on William Well we followed the Doctors instructions about William’s medicines, we cut back and for a while just gave him Ativan when needed. We also sent him to the VA for a check up and the doctor concurred with Dr Manning about the meds. So now we have him on very little medication, and he seems to be doing better. His appetite is starting to return, he is drinking more and now it is a waiting game. Our main concern is that he may again get too hard to handle, since he can become v

markdohle

markdohle

 

Such is heat

In the afternoon heat on a summer’s day, As the day winds down deep fatigue sets in, The bones are weary, The chest gets tight from the air, I lie down to nap and arise not refreshed, Such is heat, Loved by some, Dreaded by others, Necessary in any case for natures continuance. So I wait for winter avoiding the Sun, Yet I also enjoy the beauty of the deep green trees, The summer thundershowers, Rare this year, also a great consolation to hear and watch, Cold water sipp

markdohle

markdohle