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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

Such a gift

I like being tired on a cold rainy night, My mind longing for the oblivion of sleep, Though never achieved due to my many dreams, Themselves not a problem; My sleep is undisturbed by their creation, Often dreams have changed my life by what they present, At times strongly stated in ways not to be ignored, So yes I also love my dreams, Even the scary ones that come at times They too have a message one I would often not listen to, Hence their strength in their delivery. I lov

markdohle

markdohle

 

Leaving on a jet plane

Leaving on a jet plane I can still remember the morning that I woke up, on the day that I was going to leave home for the first time. It was in August, the year was 1967 and I just graduated from High School. I can remember waking up, looking up at the ceiling with this very strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, you know the feeling you get when you are about to enter the first long decent on a roller coaster ride, making promises to God that if you survive you will not get back on again

markdohle

markdohle

 

Before he storm

The evening cool, Bracing breeze intermittent, Strong with power one moment Then silence deep, Waiting for the storm. Clouds low hanging from the now dark sky, Ice crystals in the air, Waiting, For freezing rain to come, To cover the limbs of trees with its beauty, Crystal on display for a short time to see, Often some destruction in its wake But beauty deep none the less. Homeward bound I drive Loving this special moment, The quiet, Windows down, open to the dam

markdohle

markdohle

 

Within the heart

Are we evil or are we good? The human heart, is it filled with love, Or is indifference to others it natural state? Concerned only for its own, Caring not for those who are other. Love for our own, Parents for their children, Children for their parents, Love between husband and wife, The deep sharing with friends, Our tribe, nation, religion, family, Is not the love we are called to. Love and need often go hand in hand, Powerful, Healing, A grace to be treasured,

markdohle

markdohle

 

So we talk

I sat before her, Pensive, My chest tight, Knowing that emotion just below the surface, Waited coiled. Wanting to express it, As usual not really knowing how. There is so much more I need to learn, Experience, Of just how to let my emotions to simply be. I talked, Again, Of my past Of my being left to myself at two years old, Not knowing what was happening, The meaning of it, As if a two year old could understand that anyway. One year in that prison, Cold, Da

markdohle

markdohle

 

An old saying

There is an old saying, Out of use, not heard much anymore, Yet it is something true if not very comforting. No surprise there, truth not always something desired, It brings out the ragged aspects of life to clearly Breaking down the false sense of security we need to surround us, Not allowing the precariousness of life to present itself In colors too stark, In deep colors of grey, black leading down the dark tunnel to where? The saying is very simple really: Life turns on a

markdohle

markdohle

 

The draw

Our attention is drawn to little things, Their effect often greater than one would think. Beauty in others the biggest draw, The eyes, A smile, Watching unnoticed the expressions at play In those simply there. The father’s look, A mother’s caress shown to a beloved child, Small kindness given without thought, An overflowing of a heart, Perhaps surprised by the joy of love or beauty, For just a moment freeing one from self-consciousness, The relief of just b

markdohle

markdohle

 

Is atheism viable?

Atheism is, essentially, a negative position. It is not believing in a god, or actively believing there is no God, or choosing to not exercise any belief or non-belief concerning God, etc. Which ever flavor is given to atheism, it is a negative position. In discussions with atheists, I don't hear any evidence for the validity of atheism. There are no "proofs" that God does not exist in atheist circles; at least, none that I have heard -- especially since you can't prove a negative regardi

markdohle

markdohle

 

The outsider

He sat before me looking down at his plate, I am so tired of being on the outside, he said, There has never been a place where I have fit in, No matter what I do, Or how hard I try, I end up in the same place, By myself, Alone, An outsider. As I listened, Deep feelings of helplessness swam to the surface, Nothing I could say would help, So I just sat and took what he presented, Prayed, Letting go of my need to try to somehow fix him. He has shared his past with me,

markdohle

markdohle

 

Welcome to Skeptics Anonymous

Guy Lyon Playfair L.David Leiter of Willow Grove, Pennsylvania was for several years 'actively' engaged with the Philadelphia Association for Critical Thinking (PhACT) after being introduced to it by an old friend, a sometime CSICOP supporter who had left that organisation 'in protest over specific non-professional behaviour on their part'. This, Leiter has found, is 'a seemingly frequent complaint of former CSICOPers'. Leiter is all for what he calls ordinary skepticism which 'acts to refi

markdohle

markdohle

 

The Unbearable Brightness of Being Right

Articles by Rupert Sheldrake The Unbearable Brightness of Being Right Rupert Sheldrake reviews Daniel Dennett's new book Toronto Globe and Mail, February 4, 2006 Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon by Daniel Dennett. In this book, Daniel Dennett proclaims himself "bright." He is impressed by the success of homosexuals in calling themselves "gay," and, together with the evolutionist Richard Dawkins, he is trying to re-brand atheism. The results so far have been

markdohle

markdohle

 

The corner

I stand still unmoving, Trapped facing the corner I have put myself in, Again, Unending cycles yet unable to break free Bringing me over and over again to this confined space. I have been here so many tines, Stuck, Looking at the dust before me, That lies all around me, My feet, Covering the walls, My soul choking on its fine mist like particles, Leftovers from my own choices, Some free, Others not, Perhaps vestiges of freedom unused. Others unthinking reactions l

markdohle

markdohle

 

Howard Storm's NDE

This is a long post, but well worth the read for those interested in NDE's An Invitation to Hell From Strange Beings [Howard Storm was in intense agony and dying.] Struggling to say goodbye to my wife, I wrestled with my emotions. Telling her that I loved her very much was as much of a goodbye as I could utter because of my emotional distress. Sort of relaxing and closing my eyes, I waited for the end. This was it, I felt. This was the big nothing, the big blackout, the one you never wa

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is it?

Within each person that you see, That man, or woman, walking beside you; Children also laughing, crying, screaming, playing, Each has an inner world with depths not yet fathomed. Things hidden lie in the depths, Forgotten, Perhaps sleeping not yet awakened from slumber; Let sleeping dogs lie, so the saying goes. Conflicting desires, Voices speaking, Compulsive often repetitive, For many, that is who they are, these voices. Driven, First this emotion, Now that, This

markdohle

markdohle

 

Mistakes christians make when dialoguing with Atheists

From: Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry www.carm.org Most Christians mean well when they defend their faith. But, too often, many make fundamental errors when dialoguing with atheists. We need to make as few errors as possible, not simply to win an argument, but to help the atheist come to a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus. Following are common mistakes made by theists when dialoguing with atheists. Labeling Atheists Some Christians have labeled atheist

markdohle

markdohle

 

Whisperings

Today at least we have ideals, Things we strive for, Would like to be true, but the time is not yet. We talk of brotherhood, Understanding, Learning to love those who are different, Good things, Perhaps, at least in the area of ideas, we are evolving. Yet in spite of that some things are getting worse, Boundaries going up, Primitive impulses once again in ascendance, Raising fears and stereotypes, With just enough truth to make them dangerous. I see it rising within

markdohle

markdohle

 

Remote Viewers who Plunge into Unknown Realities

Of Mice and Pen Remote Viewers who Plunge into Unknown Realities by PSI TECH President & Remote Viewer Joni Dourif Imagine if you will, only the vast surface of the ocean… You have seen its reflective cover many times. It’s expansive and it’s expressive. You take notice of it more when it curls up and crashes down and makes loud roaring sounds. But most of the time you just assume that it’s there “doing its ocean thing.” It has always been there, on the edge of your awarene

markdohle

markdohle

 

People Have NDEs While Brain Dead

Dr. Michael Sabom is a cardiologist whose latest book, Light and Death, includes a detailed medical and scientific analysis of an amazing near-death experience of a woman named Pam Reynolds. She underwent a rare operation to remove a giant basilar artery aneurysm in her brain that threatened her life. The size and location of the aneurysm, however, precluded its safe removal using the standard neuro-surgical techniques. She was referred to a doctor who had pioneered a daring surgical procedure k

markdohle

markdohle

 

Shattered image

Times come often for me When faced with my own pretensions, Standing broken before my shattered image The broken shards lying around me, My soul bleeding from truths ragged edge Seeking to hide from love’s infinite gaze. I seek dark places in which to hide Calling the mountains to fall upon me, Self-loathing my companion, My heart like granite, Lifeless, Cold and bitter. To no avail do I seek sanctuary, The light in my stone like heart abiding, Allowing me not the iso

markdohle

markdohle

 

Talk on grief

We all begin life fresh, We are born, Some into loving homes, others not, Some have parents that support them, Others into abusive households, Men and women passing on what they were taught, Unable to break the cycle. Perhaps the majority land somewhere in the middle; With parents who are good, but struggle with responsibilities overwhelming, Perhaps the beginning the most difficult. In any case we are all on a journey, We are pilgrims Moving forward on the ro

markdohle

markdohle

 

Inner struggle

Temperance I sometimes want to just let go, let it rip, Throw things, break windows, just yell, A sort of freedom desired, short lived, With results, or the fruit’s thereof, binding, Perhaps leading to a kind of insanity if it becomes a habit, Causing more problems than solving. Or, Holding everything in, pushing it down, Hiding behind a smile, Or just plain not showing inner emotions, A secret, lest others see the chaos within, churning, brewing, cooking, Lea

markdohle

markdohle

 

Before the before

In the before Where even nothing had no meaning, No energy was, Nor matter, Space and time where simply not yet, Then....... Time began, Matter and energy in space micro-infinite Exploded in light Space began as energy expelled, Expansion speeding up Universe flying apart Hurling through space, Until, Energy gone, only cold inert space left. The end comes from beginnings. Beginnings have causes The uncaused with no beginning the source of all

markdohle

markdohle

 

Dark anima

Upon a throne severe she sits, Made of stone enduring, The color of ancient bone Stable, Unmovable, Clothed in grey, her face set, stern. Buffeted by life’s sorrows and tragedies, Passing the test that endurance brings. The sword in her hand, not for battle against others, If wisdom has been attained. Rather a symbol of discernment cutting through illusion, Leading to compassion that is seen in her eyes, By those with the courage to engage. Wisdom comes from the embraci

markdohle

markdohle

 

Shadows

He wanders forlorn, From room to room, Opening doors, Seeking a way out, A closet perhaps a doorway to freedom, Leading again only into darkness; No exit found, A world of Kafkaesque proposition. Trapped in a castle not knowing why, Or how he got there. An endless journey, Seeking things that are no longer…… Of the past, Shadows real as if present, Imprints from the past taken as if ‘now’. Forgetting, Seeking over and over again, Mother, Father, Brothers an

markdohle

markdohle

 

The caw

The Raven jet black Cawed loudly, Breaking the winter silence. In winter months their call echoes, The sky empty of other songs, Melancholy in its timber. Bringing to mind images of emptiness, Sadness, Life’s losses never to be found, Such a sound the Raven’s Caw, Healing in allowing remembrance to flow.

markdohle

markdohle