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talking to myself

A blog by markdohle in General

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

cleaved apart

cleaved apart truth stood with sword drawn whom the soul bowed down before cleaved apart set free
markdohle

markdohle

0

Clarity

Clarity Sometimes things can get so tangled up inside and life itself with all of its mysteries can get so confusing, that the only way to handled it is to simply be silent and let things settle. I am learning, slowly, that I don't have to figure everything out, nor do I have the ability to do so. So I need to learn when to let it go, be silent, and simply 'be'. Sometimes clarity comes when it is not grasped after.
markdohle

markdohle

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CJ

CJ Dialysis I would suppose is hard on everyone. For at the clinic I see some young people there, in their mid-thirties, a couple even younger, who seem to be able after more than a few years, to still have energy enough for a life outside the long hours they spend on one of the machines, needed to keep them alive. Though they tend to look older than their years, at least the few I have seen. Undiagnosed high blood pressure seems to be the culprit or many of them of these young people.
markdohle

markdohle

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Cistercian Spirituality, Talk on Conversion of Manners

Cistercian Spirituality Talk on Conversion of Manners This weekend we are having a retreat titled: “Cistercian Spirituality”. This is one of our more popular retreats and the house is always full. I am giving a talk this evening on “Conversion of Manners”. When taking Solemn Vows this is one of the vows that we make in the presence of the Abbot and Community. For me it is the most important vow, for how we live out our conversion will bear fruit in how we express our living the other
markdohle

markdohle

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personal reflection

Church and State Kirill and Putin

Church and State Kirill and Putin   Marco and I have been friends for a long time. I have a deep respect for him. He wanted me to share what I thought about the relationship that  Krill has with Putin. In other words, the church and state problem, and question. Below is something simple that I wrote on the subject. –Br.MD   ++++++++++   When a government and the church become one, there is only trouble brewing. In a church that is either run by the state or works as an equal partner wit
markdohle

markdohle in personal reflection

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personal reflection

Christmas Meditation

Christmas Meditation   He saw everything and loved We are all called to interior freedom, yet like everything in this world, there is a price to be paid. The armor of man is easier to wear than is the armor of God. To go against, to fight, to hate, and seek revenge. To devalue as less than human those we despise, is how we protect ourselves from seeing the humanity of others.   Jesus
markdohle

markdohle in personal reflection

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Christmas list

Christmas list As I was leaving the doctors office I saw my friend talking to a woman sitting in her car. She was young, at the most in her late twenties and she was asking for directions. She was looking for the ‘St. Vincent DePaul society’, a catholic institution that helps those who are in need. In was 11:40 and she wanted to get there before 12:00 so that she could put her children on their Christmas list. Someone gave her directions to the society but they were wrong since
markdohle

markdohle

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Christmas Eve 2020

Christmas Eve 2020 (The Incarnation ( A Word From God) I am not sure that I could ever come up with the idea that God is love. Why would I? Or believe that God knows my name! That is impossible, I am one among billions. Or that I even have something called a soul, that is not snuffed out at death. Yet God has revealed His nature, in the life of one man, whom many love, died for, and yes, live out their lives serving. “What is man Lord that you are mindful of him (Ps 8:4)?” What am I
markdohle

markdohle

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Christmas Day Homily by Fr. Cassian OCSO

Christmas Day Homily Fr. Cassian OCSO   This is a homily preached on Chrismas day by our Fr. Cassian. He is a good speaker, and always shares something that is worth pondering. At this time I am using it for my Lectio in the mourning.--Br.Md   Homily Preached December 25, 2019    Merry Christmas! On behalf of our abbot, Dom Augustine, and all the monks, I wish you all a most blessed Christmas season. This day is a wonderful day, so great a day that our Church presents us with multiple Ma
markdohle

markdohle

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Christmas 1953

Christmas 1953   I have a lot of memories of Christmas, mostly positive and happy ones. My parents seemed to make it a priority that the children had a good Christmas no matter what they had to do to accomplish it, well within legal means of course. In 1953 when I was five we moved into a small farmhouse near a town called Desoto, I guess it was about 50 miles or so from St. Louis. We lived in the house for a few years and it had a few acres of land, some of it used for farming; something
markdohle

markdohle

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Christmas 1953

Christmas 1953   I have a lot of memories of Christmas, mostly positive and happy ones. My parents seemed to make it a priority that the children had a good Christmas no matter what they had to do to accomplish it, well within legal means of course. In 1953 when I was five we moved into a small farmhouse near a town called Desoto, I guess it was about 50 miles or so from St. Louis. We lived in the house for a few years and it had a few acres of land, some of it used for farming; something
markdohle

markdohle

2

Christian failure

Christian failure There are many ways to fail when trying to walk the Christian path. I am of course speaking from my own struggles, failures and experiences with my own thick bullheadedness, when trying to deepen my own walk with Christ Jesus. I also understand that when we share our lives with one another, there are limitations of language, as well as the life experiences of those who listen. It makes communication very difficult to say the least and often frustrating. There are no st
markdohle

markdohle

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article of interest

Christ the King 2023

Christ the King    2023  This is the homily given by our Abbot Dom Augustine   I don’t think that for the 21st century American the reality of King has deep significance. Perhaps something was evoked in us recently with the coronation of King Charles of England. At the same time I don’t think using the word ‘President’ is any much better.  But we do get the idea that a King is someone who rules, and has much power. We celebrate Christ the King today. He is the ruler of the univ
markdohle

markdohle in article of interest

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Choosing my battles

Choosing my battles In taking care of the sick, there are two things that I have learned. The first is to choose my battles, to know what can be dealt with for the benefit of my patient, and what needs to be let go off, since to pursue it would only cause more harm than good. I suppose diet is one of the hardest things to deal with. For many of us our eating habits can be a bit compulsive and our choices bad for us. I have a man I am taking care of at this time, who is rapidly gaining wei
markdohle

markdohle

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Choosing Love

Choosing Love In the fundamental meditation about the goal; that is, of choosing love:  the soul must love; it has need of living.  The soul must divert the stream of its love, but not into the mud or into a vacuum, but into God.  How I rejoice when I reflect on this, for I feel clearly that He Himself is in my heart.  Just Jesus alone!  I love creatures insofar as they help me to become united with God.  I love all people because I see the image of God in them. (Diary of Divine Me
markdohle

markdohle

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Choose to begin to forgive

Choose to begin to forgive March 25, 2017 "Dear children! In this time of grace, I am calling all of you to open your hearts to God’s mercy, to begin a new life through prayer, penance and a decision for holiness. This time of spring moves you to a new life, to a renewal, in your thoughts and hearts. Therefore, little children, I am with you to help you to say 'yes' to God and to God’s commandments with resoluteness. You are not alone; I am with you through the grace which the Most High giv
markdohle

markdohle

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Choose one or the other

Choose one or the other We choose to trust, a hard one. We also choose not to trust, to become fearful, bitter and isolated. This choice is easier because it is something we know and understand.
markdohle

markdohle

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Choices deeply hidden

Choices deeply hidden We can only give what we have. Choices are made often at such a deep level within the soul, that they may not be understood, or known, to be choices at all. We are told things about ourselves when young that influences our options…. even if they are often hidden from our conscious minds. I think most of us have cycles in our lives that can bring great pain and suffering. Unless it can be understood that we all play a part in our sufferings, that we are not just
markdohle

markdohle

0

Choices deeply hidden

Choices deeply hidden We can only give what we have. Choices are made often at such a deep level within the soul, that they may not be understood, or known, to be choices at all. We are told things about ourselves when young that influences our options…. even if they are often hidden from our conscious minds. I think most of us have cycles in our lives that can bring great pain and suffering. Unless it can be understood that we all play a part in our sufferings, that we are not just vi
markdohle

markdohle

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Choice

Choice Freedom from obligation towards others can seem weightless, fun, easy, yet the price can be steep in the end. For without at least the desire to love and be of service to others, leads to the worst kind of isolation, were in the end an essential aspect of ones humanity is lost, perhaps forever. Perhaps this is what hell is, just being with oneself without end. A way of existing, freely chosen, embraced, becoming cold as death, wherein any kind of warmth is impossible to feel; a p
markdohle

markdohle

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Personal Reflection

Choice

Choice Always see love at the source of everything that comes from God. There is love and there is hate —nothing else. Two roots: God and the devil. Man with his free will takes his choice of the fruit. Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (pp. 268-269).  Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. It is often difficult for me to see how man has free will.  For I can view how challenging it for me to grow into the man that I want to be.  I seek to be a man of justice, compassion, and yes
markdohle

markdohle in Personal Reflection

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Choas/Life/Faith

Chaos /life/faith Faith can be bare-boned at times, with trust being the only operative ingredient working. Chaos seems to be part of life, though if I had my way I would do away with that. Then again, I feel if that wish came true, perhaps I would disappear, or just become flat, like a lake with no ripples; for struggles seems to be needed by our species. Like the salmon striving to go upstream to breed, so we do the same, often for reasons that are veiled. An inner compass guides me, and I
markdohle

markdohle

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Childlikeness

Childlikeness Children dance, laugh and play, natural in their abandon, in how they do what they do. Naiveté that one day must be lost, a must, sad to say. Life does that, forces us to let go of childish joy, Something that those who have lost it love to witness, Wistful for days long past, before sophistication came to the fore. Childlike joy, and openness to life, in adults, is another matter, Based on maturity, and in the understanding of the simple giftedness of life; Cho
markdohle

markdohle

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personal reflection

Childlike Prisoner

Childlike Prisoner It is interesting writing prisoners. Each is of course unique in how they are accepting their situation. One prisoner that I am writing is named Gregory, and he comes across as very intense, but with a mind that is more childlike than adult. Not sure how far to go with this. Writing is a good vehicle for communication, but it does have some drawbacks of course. He likes to write many small letters, mostly about one paragraph long, in big letters that look like a child’s h
markdohle

markdohle in personal reflection

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