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talking to myself

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personal stuff

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At the end of our lives...judged by love

At the end of our lives...judged by love

At the end of our lives, we will be judged by Love --St. John of the Cross Prayer is not just asking, it is about waiting in silence, learning to just be, not as easy as it sounds. Keep it simple, honest, childlike, even in the midst of deep inner suffering, confusion, and doubt. We are upheld in the hands of an infinite lover, God became man to show us, to tell us of that reality, embrace it, dive deeply into life, all things pass only love remains,--BrMD

markdohle

markdohle

I can dance

I can dance

I can dance I can dance Lord, or used to when young, those magic moments, (not nearly enough) when my body was light as air, yet overwhelmed with an inner fire, that put my fragile ego aside and I just let myself fly, sometimes I thought my heart would explode, but I did not stop the movement, allowing my soul to soar.   Now that I am old, my body seems heavy, I can still move, but can't dance as I did back then, yet when I die, I will not sing, but dance before you for eternit

markdohle

markdohle

Meeting with a dying beetle

Meeting with a dying beetle

Meeting a dying Beetle   This morning I was watering the plants here in the Monastery Retreat House. Most of the plants I have I simply put in water and just watch them grow. Each plant is a work of art. As I was going out onto the Retreat House back porch, that overlooks our garden, I spied a beetle struggling. It was a beautiful specimen, with a long sleek body and long antennae. It was dying. I am always surprised to see an insect actually dying since I am sure the odds of living that long

markdohle

markdohle

The cliché

The cliché

The cliché (Though it need not be) There are many clichés that are used in our culture today. We hear them every day ad nauseum. Yet they can be true for all that; in fact they can get to the heart of the matter they speak of, if pondered and their over-familiarity defeated. So that the wise center can be understood and inner balance and healing accomplished. For me, the most difficult obstacle I face on my journey towards inner wholeness is the relationship I have with myself, one that is

markdohle

markdohle

A good question about how to love God

A good question about how to love God

A good question about how to love God   A woman came to me one day and asked me "How do I love God with my whole heart, mind, and soul? How is it even possible  So I pretended the Lord was speaking through me, for I have few answers to anything. This is what followed:   "When a soul begins to seek me, even at the very beginning when filled with conflicts and inner contradictions, even then, they begin to love me as much as they are able. So even a drop of love for m

markdohle

markdohle

Breathe in Him, move in Him

Breathe in Him, move in Him

Breathe in Him, move in Him   June 22— . . . “If you knew what the love of God is, it would be impossible for you not to abandon everything to Him and let yourself be lost in Him. You would not dream of not counting on Him in life and death. Even on earth, you prefer to love a superior person, don’t you? Aren’t you attracted by intelligence, warmth, kindness? Multiply by infinity all the gifts that you look for in those you love; God is more. For there are depths of tenderness in M

markdohle

markdohle

It is in giving that we recieve

It is in giving that we recieve

It is in giving that we receive O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.—St. Francis of Assisi When Christ Jesus was accosted in the garden of Gethsemane, betrayed, manhandled, and arrested, in the midst of all that chaos, Peter drew his

markdohle

markdohle

Br. Alan’s question that made me stop and thi

Br. Alan’s question that made me stop and thi

Br. Alan’s question that made me stop and think Over the years, before 2013, when I was placed in the retreat house, and was still working in our infirmary, I would at times be brought front and center from either a statement or a question that was asked me by one of the men I was taking care of. So I find that it is happening again now that I am back taking care of Br. Alan. About two weeks ago, during the morning shift, I was starting to wake up Br. Alan. He is easy to wake up, and

markdohle

markdohle

The more love, the less need to argue

The more love, the less need to argue

The more love, the less need to argue and judge   Lord, why do we fight and argue so much?   So again, I pretended the Lord was speaking to me and this is what came up:   My son, beliefs are very emotional, not based on reason. I have given mankind the power of reason to be able to communicate with one another. When respect for the other, your neighbor, no matter who they are, is missing, being reasonable, which is also being loving and understanding i

markdohle

markdohle

Stop doing it!

Stop doing it!

Just stop doing it!   One day I was wondering why it is so easy to judge others harshly. I know I can fall into that trap, especially when it is a 'group'. Again, I wondered, what would Jesus say to me about this:   So I begin:   My son, Christians have a habit of judging those harshly who sin in ways that they do not. In doing this they forget their own sins and failures. Any kind of judgment that comes from a p

markdohle

markdohle

Janet, at Journeys End

Janet, at Journeys End

Janet, at Journeys End   I do believe that people come into our lives that we are supposed to take care of. Most of us have people come in and out of our lives, some we help for a short time, and then they move on. Which is as it should be.   Then there are others, perhaps a very few that we know that we should help them over the long-haul. They can be people who drive us crazy, but we freely help them, without compulsion.   Janet (not her real name) is

markdohle

markdohle

A Lovely Baptist Lady Who Said the Rosary

A Lovely Baptist Lady Who Said the Rosary

A lovely Baptist Lady Who Loved the Rosary   Mary joins us, she fights at our side. She supports Christians in the fight against the forces of evil. Especially through prayer, through the rosary. Hear me out, the rosary... Do you pray the Rosary each day? --Pope Francis   ++++++++++   Over the years, because I love to read, I had gotten used to the many misunderstandings that people have about the Rosary. I once read an article by a well-meaning Bapt

markdohle

markdohle

Prayer, the hidden thread

Prayer, the hidden thread

Prayer, the hidden thread   September 14—Le Fresne church. Holy Hour. “Take My heart and press the blood upon France, upon the world, so that its purifying power may change the face of the earth. Everything can work together for good, you know, even evil. And I can make even those who seek disorder and violence contribute to My glory. But you must pray. You see how I am always asking you to work with Me. There again, don’t leave Me alone. Don’t you love to help Me? Try. You will discov

markdohle

markdohle

Writing prisoners and using discernment

Writing prisoners and using discernment

Writing prisoners and using discernment (But never giving up on them) I was writing to one of the prisoners I correspond with this morning. I always learn a lot from them. While it is true that from time to time I get a con-man, they soon give themselves away, and then I challenge them, and for the most part, they stop writing to me. Walter, is a middle-aged man, who is in for a long stretch. When I searched his records there was not much there, so I do not really know what

markdohle

markdohle

We are called to share, not force change

We are called to share, not force change

We are called to share, not force change   We are living in a time of 'endings'. Structures are falling, perhaps even some structures in the Catholic Church. I believe we must speak the truth without worrying about convincing. When we do not do that it leads to arguments, which is not really communication. We all plant seeds, and we receive seeds that if we allowed them to grow could be harmful, others leading to new life.   When we speak truth calmly, understanding

markdohle

markdohle

Faith, not a given, and absurdity

Faith, not a given, and absurdity

Faith, not a given, and absurdity August 3—Le Fresne church. Holy Hour. While I was doing a hundred and one things I was thinking, “But I must look after my beloved.” “Your beloved does so much for you. When you are absorbed in other things He is there. When you are putting forth great efforts because your faith is dim, He is there. When you no longer feel His presence, He is with you. And when you think you are deserted, He is right in your very center, alive, watchful, loving. Knowing thi

markdohle

markdohle

Br. Alan RIP

Br. Alan RIP

Br. Alan, RIP   Br. Alan went to the Lord (died) at 11:30 PM on Sunday night. Today (Tuesday) as is our custom, we will receive his body at 5:15 PM from the funeral home, and he will be laid out in our church until his funeral mass tomorrow at 7:30 AM, right after Lauds. The monks will take turns sitting with Br. Alan through the night.   I never have gotten used to receiving the body of a newly deceased member of our community. I guess we each experience the death o

markdohle

markdohle

The sacredness of human life

The sacredness of human life

The sacredness of the human person   “I wish to restate as firmly as I can that abortion is a grave sin, since it puts an end to an innocent life. In the same way, however, I can and must [state] that there is no sin that God’s mercy cannot reach and wipe away when it finds a repentant heart seeking to be reconciled with the Father.” (Apostolic Letter, 2016)   ++++++++++   A sin is an act of self-destruction. Something that lessens our humanity, wh

markdohle

markdohle

What is life all about?  Remembering Br. Alan

What is life all about? Remembering Br. Alan

What is life all about? (Community remembrance for Br. Alan) “Think of Me in My human life more often, for in this way you will draw the power to imitate Me. You must take all the means: look at Me, call Me, love Me.” December 11—Holy Hour. Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 3083-3085). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. ++++++++++   When a community member dies, after a few days, the community will gather to talk about the departed brot

markdohle

markdohle