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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

Writing….why?

Writing….why? I am amazed that I still write. Before I was fifty, sixteen short years ago, I had a dislike or an actual aversion for writing. When young I did some writing for classes, but apart from that, no, I had no inclination. The few times that I did sit down and try to scribe, what came out on paper only showed inner chaos and pain; no wonder I hesitated to continue that endeavor. I however did (and still do) love to read. I perhaps read too much, book after book, no doubt a w

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing those in prison

Writing those in prison For years I resisted writing to prisoners. First of all, some of them are con men and write only to receive money etc. So I let them know from the start that I can’t send them money, clothes etc, saying this has stopped some from writing to me twice. However some continue to write to me and I find it something that I enjoy and get more back than what I give. Many of these men just want to do time and get out and continue to live their lives. So I am trying to ke

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing prisoners is life changing

Writing prisoners is life changing I am amazed at how writing prisoners has changed me. Perhaps it is because they know on a very deep level the tragedies of life. Maybe not all, but those who take responsibility for their wrong doing seem to open up a door that can lead to deep conversion. Often being in prison, things can become very black and white. It can also make one aware of how important our small everyday choices can be. In dealing with others in an enclosed environment the in

markdohle

markdohle

Writing prisoners and using discernment

Writing prisoners and using discernment

Writing prisoners and using discernment (But never giving up on them) I was writing to one of the prisoners I correspond with this morning. I always learn a lot from them. While it is true that from time to time I get a con-man, they soon give themselves away, and then I challenge them, and for the most part, they stop writing to me. Walter, is a middle-aged man, who is in for a long stretch. When I searched his records there was not much there, so I do not really know what

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing prisoners (pitfalls and dangers)

Writing prisoners (pitfalls and dangers) When I got back from my trip I had a small pile of letters waiting from the prisoners that I write too. One of the prisoners made a remark that made we wonder about him. So I looked him up and was surprised what I found. Then I looked up some of the others. I am glad that I did. I guess when writing prisoners it is good to check up on them. Not to do so to stop writing them, but to know what I am dealing with. One of the prisoners wrot

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing a prisoner

Writing a prisoner Letter writing is not something that I enjoy doing. Yet, at this time in my life I find myself writing three men in prison. I am finding it a deeply felt experience…. writing men who are often forgotten and shut away for many years. I was talking to a man this morning who works in the prison ministry. He said that about 30% of those in prison are there because of a mistake they made, albeit a serious one. When they are released most of them do not return. Though som

markdohle

markdohle

 

Writing

Writing I was one of the participants on panel for retreatants, who were there to learn about writing and journal keeping, at first I felt a little out of place, but that soon passed. There were seven all total on the panel. To start off, we each gave some information about our writing. I was taken by how different each of us was in our responses to the question. I would like to share my response here. I started writing in the late 90’s; I was 50 and was trying to learn how to expres

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wrestling with God

Wrestling with God Being controlling, demanding or judging, comes from not being able to observe oneself with love and compassion. To love ones neighbor as oneself is not possible if self knowledge is lacking. There is only posturing, seeking to impress others and a fear of being exposed. Wisdom comes from our own wrestling with God.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wrath, what is it?

Wrath, what is it? Wrath is a scary word, and when used in relation to God it can be terrifying.  In the Old Testament, it is used quite a bit, along with severe punishments towards the people of Israel.  I have to be honest and say that apart from the psalms, I do not spend much time in the Old Testament; so much that I don’t understand, it being written from a cultural perspective that I have a hard time understanding.  God language can only come through the person or culture where they

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wrath

Wrath Wrath is a scary word, and when used in relation to God it can be terrifying. In the Old Testament it is used quite a bit, along with severe punishments towards the people of Israel. I have to be honest and say that apart from the psalms, I do not spend much time in the Old Testament; so much that I don’t understand, it being written from a cultural perspective that I have a hard time understanding. God language can only come through the person or culture where they are in thei

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wrapped in death’s strong bonds

Wrapped in death’s strong bonds We are still in Easter season and the mystery of Christ Jesus resurrection is still central in the liturgy as well in our private prayer and meditation. I have been spending a lot of time on the ‘Last Discourse’ of Jesus in the Gospel of John as well as the account of the Resurrection. Our whole faith rest on this reality, for as St. Paul stated, “if Christ Jesus is not raised, then our faith is in vain”. Lately I have been struck by the image of Jesus t

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wounding

The heart shatters at times, Rebuilds itself, Each time changed; No middle ground. Either it opens more to life Or closes evermore unto itself, Careful how others are treated, For in wounding others, we wound ourselves, Christ also weeps, It is our wounds he carries.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wounded souls

She sat before me yet again, Eyes downcast to ashamed to look up, Her face black and blue, Each times it seems to be worse Slowly building over the years. We have been here so many times before. The eternal return, Or the Myth of Sisyphus, Over and over again the ending the same. “Please don’t be angry with me Mark” Her whisper barely audible, Yet like a movie rerun I know what she would say, So predictable this tragic play I am caught up in. If not so painful for both

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wounded soul(s)

Wounded soul(s) She sat before me yet again, Eyes downcast to ashamed to look up, Her face black and blue, Each times it seems to be worse Slowly building over the years. We have been here so many times before. The eternal return, Or the Myth of Sisyphus, Over and over again the ending the same. “Please don’t be angry with me Mark” Her whisper barely audible, Yet like a movie rerun I know what she would say, So predictable this tragic play I am caught up in. If not so painful for

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wounded healers

Wounded healers To love another is to be open to their pain and confusion. Not be afraid of life and the chaos that seems to be part of it all. Our wounds become manifest when we take this road, and in that we become able to be healers of others, we become wounded healers. Thourgh we need to learn our limitations and have proper boundaries.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Worth of the Soul

Worth of the Soul "Each soul is the object of My special love. That is why I am so grateful to those who are resourceful and bringing back sinners to Me. Keep this in mind then. I gave My life for them in the most atrocious torture, for these poor beloved ones. A humble repentance, and they are already on My heart. So speak gently to them. Speak with tenderness. A brusque remark could drive them farther away. -- Gabrielle Bossis from her book He and I I do not understand the na

markdohle

markdohle

 

Worldviews

Worldviews Most Christian 'believers' tend to echo the cultural prejudices and worldviews of the dominant group in their country, with only a minority revealing any real transformation of attitudes or consciousness. It has been true of slavery and racism, classism and consumerism and issues of immigration and health care for the poor. Richard Rohr We are all men and women of our time. We are formed by our culture, if we do not allow our faith to free ourselves of cultural 'sin', our faith

markdohle

markdohle

 

Working with the public

Working with the public Working with the public everyday is quite an experience. The “public” can be interesting. A constant flow of people coming through, talking with them, getting to know many of them, and becoming friends with a few of them and liking most of them. It is amazing what is hidden beneath a pleasant smile and small talk. Each one of us has a great deal that we carry. It is easy to forget that when dealing with others. Sam Harris, one of the ‘New Atheist”, is not lik

markdohle

markdohle

 

Working with the public

Working with the public Working with the public on a daily basis is a profound study in human nature. As well as a good gage on how I fit right along with all the ‘different’ and very ‘unique’ people I meet on a daily basis. There are days when I am better at dealing with certain types of people who come to our retreat house. I guess that is because on some days I am more centered or sane than on others. Knowing this, helps me to be more accepting of those who come here for retreat for

markdohle

markdohle

 

Words from a much older friend

Words from a much older friend Don’t be afraid to push I was told by a much older friend, just don’t be surprised when you get a shove back, it is how you learn your strength and experience your weaknesses. Speak up, and if you over do it, well, there is a next time, apologies if need be, for in that you learn your own limits and when you step over them, which will happen more often than you would wish, you will not be afraid to admit fault. Best to be assertive, this drives less people

markdohle

markdohle

 

wordless

wordless the soul is made for truth, yet truth is not something that can be owned nor forced on others. revelation accepted is formed by the vessel which receives it, that is where abuse flows, from the deep well of human limitation before the infinite. infinite, something without end nor beginning; no depth for there is no bottom, no height, for there is no ceiling, on ward forever and ever. terms have no meaning when talking about such thing, yet that is all we have, so love

markdohle

markdohle

 

Wondrous

Wondrous (rambling-ness-nonsense) Beauty surrounds and imbues every moment, on occasion hidden from immediate view , perceptions clouded by life’s uncertainties, the present lost in the inner cluttered borne. Faces old and young and those in-between, smooth skin, laugh lines, deep creases, one of times gifts, eyes wise with experiences or bright with life’s beginnings, or simply alight with anger a force to contend with, each has its brightness pointing to an inner conscious

markdohle

markdohle

 

Women praying in our church

Perhaps all we can do is help one person at a time. Like anything thing else, just do what is thought right, not worrying about larger effects. Like my speaking about the rights of the unborn, I don't speak to convince anyone, but to simply speak what I believe important and forgotten bout by our culture I believe. All life is sacred, people show us the face of God. A women praying in our church As guest master one of my duties which I enjoy, is to set up the books in the choir stalls for o

markdohle

markdohle

 

Woman without teeth

Woman without teeth As I drove closer to the stop sign, off the Cleveland exit on 75 North, I saw her, the first time I saw a woman there, usually it is a man, she was young but looked older, black hair, no teeth, plumb, I could tell that she was mentally ill. I cruised a bit to get some money, the light was green so I could not stop, slowed down, reached out, and like a ring on a merry go round she grabbed the prize. Just before she said: “Good to see you again

markdohle

markdohle

 

Woman in purple

Woman in purple I was waiting at a doctor’s office for Laurin who was in back for a procedure. I came prepared for a long visit, a couple of books, one a work of fiction, the other something about the whole God debate thing going on, something I love to read about. As I was sitting, I heard the door slowly open accompanied by soft moaning and labored breathing. The door was opened by a tall young man in his twenties, for a large woman, perhaps over six feet tall if she was not bent over her

markdohle

markdohle