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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

The gift we can all offer

The gift we can all offer No need to use a name, let just say she was beautiful in so many ways, like people are, always, we talked, she shared, she smiled easily and yes like women are fortunate to do, she could shed tears, of sorrow of joy, and yes anger as well. I was allowed to see her light, the beauty of a soul broken in many ways, yet in that was her beauty, her glow that flowed from her inner tension, her struggled with illness and pain, her addictions that she has com

markdohle

markdohle

 

We are Pilgrims (notes for grief retreat)

We are Pilgrims (notes for grief retreat this weekend) One day we will find ourselves in a deep dark woods, along and bereft.   One of the hardest lessons to get is that one of the central aspects of being human is that we are in fact pilgrims.  We are on a journey, a very difficult one with many painful as well as joyful experiences along the way.  We gain and we lose, we rejoice and we experience sorrow, health and sickness, we lose our youth, all of these can bring us to a point o

markdohle

markdohle

 

Advent and grief (a talk)

Advent and grief (a talk) When I think of the concept of longing and then mixed it in with the experience of grief, I always get the feeling, or perhaps the picture, of a deep, dark and cold ocean, a place of feeling alone and isolated…. for what was once a bright inner relationship with another, is now empty and only a void remains. Add to that the feeling that others don’t understand what is being gone through; or perhaps being incapable in showing respect and understanding in how uniquel

markdohle

markdohle

 

The gift of a persistent friend

The gift of a persistent friend I have a friend that I guess I have known for about 8 years. At this time he is living down south, somewhere in Florida and we keep in contact by email and at times we IM each other when I am at my email address. He is a very kind man, with a big heart and very childlike in his desire to be of help for others. He is not perfect, but he seems to be learning from his past mistakes and trying ever harder to lead a good life. He so wants to help others but is

markdohle

markdohle

 

Are we dangerous?

Are we dangerous? Free floating anger, being irrational and for the most part getting its energy from the unconscious seems to makes itself known whenever an opening is allowed for it to wake up from its seeming inner slumber. Simply setting down peacefully and looking at a sunset, or listening to music, or perhaps attempting to meditate, will allow images too appear that can be terrifying to some people. Perhaps that is one reason that many try to repress this energy (at great cost) since it

markdohle

markdohle

 

Hands

Hands God touches the world through our hands, rough hands to build, gentle hands to soothe pain, fear and anxiety, artistic hands to show God 's beauty; hands to write prose, poetry and theology, each used to manifest Christ in the world, gifts differing, yet all flow from the same spirit.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Fear of mystery

Fear of mystery Rebellion goes nowhere, like a dog chasing his tail. Tradition is good, has deep roots, but must be opened to the future, if not then it is useless, a thing of the past. I think that we spend so much time trying to figure things out, that we forget, or perhaps fear, that reality is much more open ended than we suppose or want it to be. Rigidity, (something I fight in myself), when given into, is a sure sign of the fear of that truth that goes beyond one world's view. A ‘Tr

markdohle

markdohle

 

The good old days

The good old days Nostalgic memories scrubbed clean of pain, only the illusion of things better, yet perhaps that is preferable than having only dark memories that can't be sanitized. Today…, will one day be looked at with yearning as a time innocent and pure, while the present (in the future) filled with pain and worry with droplets of joy; (life’s little consolations), along a rough and dreary road; the present seems always so, the past for most a better address. Perhaps we ar

markdohle

markdohle

 

Bringing Christ to others

Bringing Christ to others May 25, 1937—Rennes, in the train. “Why should you create solitude for yourself if I want you before the public? (then tenderly) My beloved little child, take Me, Me to others. Be Christlike.” Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 354-356). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. About a year ago, a man came to speak to me about some of his struggles.  Which were heavy, and without letup. Yet he still loved those who hurt him, and reached out to hi

markdohle

markdohle

 

The importance of having a perspective and being reasonable

The importance of having a perspective and being reasonable It is important to have a perspective on life, one that is thought about, pondered and also shared. As I age I have learned how complicated this can be when trying to communicate with others who come from a different way of perceiving reality. Viewpoints are good; they are like a light that shows some illumination, though perhaps not as much as would be liked, on the path that is walked. It is easy to fall into the trap of only

markdohle

markdohle

 

I can’t leave my pets behind!

I can’t leave my pets behind! A couple of days before Florence came to shore, I called an old family friend, (an adopted aunt), who was very close to my mother.  She is now 85 years old, and from what she tells me, is in great health.  She lives in Myrtle Beach and I was worried about her.  I asked her if she was going to evacuate as was recommended by the authorities.  She lives close to the water, so my concern was pretty high.  She said, “no, I have too many pets and can’t leave them, Debbi

markdohle

markdohle

 

Empty drums

Empty drums A Christianity which ‘does’ little in practice, while incessantly ‘explaining’ its teachings, is dangerously unbalanced.”—Pope Francis Our faith should be like our skin. It is how we relate to others. It is easy to preach and explain (both are needed of course), however if our faith does not flow from the heart then it is pretty worthless. The heart of man is complex, often fearful and can be malicious in how it relates to others. Faith brings us to ourselves, our

markdohle

markdohle

 

For an adult to become childlike

For an adult to become childlike It is not always easy to believe in God or some kind of spiritual realm. to take the reality of another realm seriously. Believing of course has to do with faith; to know is something different all together. I believe in God, I seek to live my life as if God exist, as if whatever happens, even if I don’t understand, has meaning and that I don’t see the complete picture, and never will. My senses limit me, as well as allow a gateway into the world that I l

markdohle

markdohle

 

Where will it end?

Where will it end? A friend of mine brought me some rice and beans today. A simple dish, but one that I believe I could eat everyday without tiring of it....sort of like chicken. It is funny how little it takes to satisfy, to make one content, yet there is still the rat race that seems to be getting ever faster and crazier. Technology could actually make our lives simpler, less complicated, yet in fact it is becoming a very hard taskmaster. Work follows us everywhere, in our cars, at re

markdohle

markdohle

 

Personal infallibility

Personal infallibility I had a good time with a friend today. We talked about different subjects, events and our interpretation of what is going on. Our differences are many, though this has more to do with our personalities than with issues; it is how we react to certain situations or ideas. I have learned long ago that people need room to think, do, and if need be, to react without me trying to change them, or to set them straight…..I don’t like it when someone tries that with me. In

markdohle

markdohle

 

It happens to just about everyone

It happens to just about everyone No matter what belief, faith or philosophical stance that is taken, the one holding it will one day be attack for being different from the attacker. It is a sling fest I believe and perhaps it has always been so. Today however it does seem to be more prevalent, no doubt because of our ability to communicate so much more easily than in the not so distant past and by that I mean just a few years. The internet gives everyone a place where they can speak the

markdohle

markdohle

 

What we are called to?

What we are called to? For those on the Christian path, what are we called to? Are we called to be God bearers, giving birth to Christ in the world? Are we called to see Christ in our enemies? To embrace not only those we love, but also those marginalized and despised, hidden from view? How is that possible? Only by truly believing that because of grace, we are called to be other Christ in the world. When we pray, perhaps like Christ, we represent with and through Christ all of mankind, for

markdohle

markdohle

 

Agnes RIP

Agnes R.I.P. The call came on Saturday morning at 6: AM. I knew what it was about before I even got to my cell phone and answered. Hospice was calling, letting me know that Agnes died a few minutes before; peacefully I was told. I was hoping to be able to be there with her when she died and I did tell her I would try, even though at the time I knew that the chances were slim that would happen. I guess it was good news that they did not call me, for that meant that she simply slipped away withou

markdohle

markdohle

 

An event with my beard and some mustard.

.About 5 years ago I stopped off for a quick lunch (or so I thought). I had a hotdog with mustard and onions. As I was eating, a dollop of mustard fell into my beard, which was even longer than it is now. So I tried not to make a fuss about it and gingerly got a napkin and tried to wipe it off. It spread and I saw I had a nice yellow spot that was now one with my beard. The waitress (God bless ...her heart) was trying not to laugh and kept looking down at the floor when ever she walked by me. I

markdohle

markdohle

 

Going through security at th airport

Going through security at th airport I was going through baggage security at the airport about five years ago. We all know how stress free that is. So I took off my shoes my belt, got my personal computer open, suitcase on the belt and went through. As I was waiting for my bag, I kept hearing someone screaming at me "Sir!!!!!!!" "Sir!!!!!".....after about five times I looked up and she was glaring at me. She told me that I had a... aerosol in my bag....is it shaving cream she asked. I lo

markdohle

markdohle

 

A form of self-hatred

To hate or to have contempt for another human being is self destructive, for each human being is made in the image and likeness of God. Each human being is a child of God. We are all ‘Icons” of God to each other. To sin against another is a form of self hatred. That is why we are called to love ourselves and our neighbor in a like manner. Self hatred leads to hatred of others and in the end, hatred of the Infinite. All is connected. If our lives bear bitter fruit it is a call to ‘turn aro

markdohle

markdohle

 

Dos-e-doe

Dos-e-doe I think life is a setup. We often think life sucks, and of course it can and does. In times of stress, when our problems become apparent; we can either deal with it, which can be very difficult, or we can run from it, which can be fun, at first. Then things get crazier because now there may by two problems instead of just one.... with greater suffering that come with dealing with both of them. Of course, we can seek another out, and another, and then we can have four or five pr

markdohle

markdohle

 

I am violent

I am violent. I have strong inner images that suggest that I fight, overcome my enemies with force and as well as overcome the rights of others so that I can get what I want. I am also a man who has compassion and love for others and am a care giver by trade. I am both angel and beast, perhaps we all are. I believe for anyone to be just a decent everyday human being takes a great deal of inner balance, self knowledge and discipline. We do it so often that this reality can be overlooked.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Agnes R.I.P.

Agnes R.I.P. The call came on Saturday morning at 6: AM. I knew what it was about before I even got to my cell phone and answered. Hospice was calling, letting me know that Agnes died a few minutes before; peacefully I was told. I was hoping to be able to be there with her when she died and I did tell her I would try, even though at the time I knew that the chances were slim that would happen. I guess it was good news that they did not call me, for that meant that she simply slipped away wi

markdohle

markdohle

 

I am grateful for this sane place at unexplained

I am grateful for this sane place at unexplained When I was in my late forties, I started having a kind of repetitive dream. Each dream was different, but the theme was the same and to this day I remember a few of them. I guess over the course of a couple of years I had perhaps five or six. Two stand out very clearly for me. In one dream I was sitting at my desk writing furiously, page after page essays on subjects I had never really written about much. The other dream, I was sitting i

markdohle

markdohle