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talking to myself

A blog by markdohle in General

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

It happens to just about everyone

It happens to just about everyone No matter what belief, faith or philosophical stance that is taken, the one holding it will one day be attack for being different from the attacker. It is a sling fest I believe and perhaps it has always been so. Today however it does seem to be more prevalent, no doubt because of our ability to communicate so much more easily than in the not so distant past and by that I mean just a few years. The internet gives everyone a place where they can speak the
markdohle

markdohle

4

What we are called to?

What we are called to? For those on the Christian path, what are we called to? Are we called to be God bearers, giving birth to Christ in the world? Are we called to see Christ in our enemies? To embrace not only those we love, but also those marginalized and despised, hidden from view? How is that possible? Only by truly believing that because of grace, we are called to be other Christ in the world. When we pray, perhaps like Christ, we represent with and through Christ all of mankind, for
markdohle

markdohle

4

Agnes RIP

Agnes R.I.P. The call came on Saturday morning at 6: AM. I knew what it was about before I even got to my cell phone and answered. Hospice was calling, letting me know that Agnes died a few minutes before; peacefully I was told. I was hoping to be able to be there with her when she died and I did tell her I would try, even though at the time I knew that the chances were slim that would happen. I guess it was good news that they did not call me, for that meant that she simply slipped away withou
markdohle

markdohle

4

An event with my beard and some mustard.

.About 5 years ago I stopped off for a quick lunch (or so I thought). I had a hotdog with mustard and onions. As I was eating, a dollop of mustard fell into my beard, which was even longer than it is now. So I tried not to make a fuss about it and gingerly got a napkin and tried to wipe it off. It spread and I saw I had a nice yellow spot that was now one with my beard. The waitress (God bless ...her heart) was trying not to laugh and kept looking down at the floor when ever she walked by me. I
markdohle

markdohle

4

Going through security at th airport

Going through security at th airport I was going through baggage security at the airport about five years ago. We all know how stress free that is. So I took off my shoes my belt, got my personal computer open, suitcase on the belt and went through. As I was waiting for my bag, I kept hearing someone screaming at me "Sir!!!!!!!" "Sir!!!!!".....after about five times I looked up and she was glaring at me. She told me that I had a... aerosol in my bag....is it shaving cream she asked. I lo
markdohle

markdohle

4

A form of self-hatred

To hate or to have contempt for another human being is self destructive, for each human being is made in the image and likeness of God. Each human being is a child of God. We are all ‘Icons” of God to each other. To sin against another is a form of self hatred. That is why we are called to love ourselves and our neighbor in a like manner. Self hatred leads to hatred of others and in the end, hatred of the Infinite. All is connected. If our lives bear bitter fruit it is a call to ‘turn aro
markdohle

markdohle

4

Dos-e-doe

Dos-e-doe I think life is a setup. We often think life sucks, and of course it can and does. In times of stress, when our problems become apparent; we can either deal with it, which can be very difficult, or we can run from it, which can be fun, at first. Then things get crazier because now there may by two problems instead of just one.... with greater suffering that come with dealing with both of them. Of course, we can seek another out, and another, and then we can have four or five pr
markdohle

markdohle

4

I am violent

I am violent. I have strong inner images that suggest that I fight, overcome my enemies with force and as well as overcome the rights of others so that I can get what I want. I am also a man who has compassion and love for others and am a care giver by trade. I am both angel and beast, perhaps we all are. I believe for anyone to be just a decent everyday human being takes a great deal of inner balance, self knowledge and discipline. We do it so often that this reality can be overlooked.
markdohle

markdohle

4

Agnes R.I.P.

Agnes R.I.P. The call came on Saturday morning at 6: AM. I knew what it was about before I even got to my cell phone and answered. Hospice was calling, letting me know that Agnes died a few minutes before; peacefully I was told. I was hoping to be able to be there with her when she died and I did tell her I would try, even though at the time I knew that the chances were slim that would happen. I guess it was good news that they did not call me, for that meant that she simply slipped away wi
markdohle

markdohle

4

I am grateful for this sane place at unexplained

I am grateful for this sane place at unexplained When I was in my late forties, I started having a kind of repetitive dream. Each dream was different, but the theme was the same and to this day I remember a few of them. I guess over the course of a couple of years I had perhaps five or six. Two stand out very clearly for me. In one dream I was sitting at my desk writing furiously, page after page essays on subjects I had never really written about much. The other dream, I was sitting i
markdohle

markdohle

4

I there anywhere to hide?

Is there anywhere to hide? I read an article a few years ago where studies have shown that when people meet someone new, the first instant of contact and evaluation that is made is correct. The problem is that it is often ignored or repressed before it can be processed. Why this is no one knows, or how this ‘judging’ of another is done. Most of us know people who seem very angry; who are difficult to live with, but they themselves do not know it. It shows itself by their remarks. As wel
markdohle

markdohle

4

My dad

My dad I can’t say I ever really got to know my father, Of course, do we ever really get to know anyone, Each unique in their depth and complexity, Creating a puzzle and mystery too deep to fathom. It was at the time of my mother’s death, That it hit me very hard, As I watched my dad, His reactions, His tears, That I did not know him at all, In many ways a stranger, his inner self unknown, We never met, our inner selves, Never really talked; How many father and sons ever really do?
markdohle

markdohle

4
personal reflection

Woman Caught in Adultery

Woman Caught in Adultery   They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” John: 8:7 The powerful episode of the “Woman Caught in Adultery”, like much of the scriptures can be looked at from many different levels and perspectives. The situation for the woman must have been terrifying, as well as humiliating. To be brought out in public and made a spectacle, a laughingstock is probably one of the d
markdohle

markdohle in personal reflection

4

The pie of truth (Who has the bigger truth?)

The pie of truth (Who has the bigger slice?) Language is tricky, interesting, wonderful and frustrating all in one. Words resonate with us, we have histories with words, many of them will evoke a response in us that can be irrational and block deeper insight and understanding. That is why it can be difficult to communicate with one another, no matter what the medium. Writing and talking while related are different. In talking more can be conveyed, also there is a give and take and if
markdohle

markdohle

4

Talking with diverse gorups of people

Talking with diverse groups of people I suppose that the last 13 years have been extremely interesting and enlightening for me and I have the internet to thank for that. In 1999 I sat down in front of a computer, learned how to connect to the internet and dove right in. Within a couple of days I was downloading, uploading, emailing, and getting drunk over all the information that was available to me by the simple click of an icon, or the typing in of an web address. It was like my brain
markdohle

markdohle

4

End of life care

End of life care I go to the VA to have some of my medical needs taken care of. I have no real complaints since I take it for granted that there will be problems that are in fact a part of any health care system, no matter how smoothly it is run. The people who work for the VA, at least here in Atlanta are very caring in how they treat the Vets. So the government can do a good job, though it is not really enough. I also go to local doctors when I have a medical problem that needs immed
markdohle

markdohle

4

the horror of thaking another's life

The horror of taking another’s life I saw a video on the web that was very graphic, it showed a man being killed in Syria having his throat cut. The man who did it was so calm about it. It was one of the worst video’s I have ever looked at. No fantasy movie about killing, this showed the absolute evil and horror of taking another’s life, especially if the life is bound so there is no chance of defense. I was riveted by the sight, sick but had to watch it to the end until he finally died.
markdohle

markdohle

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To create straw men and women

To create straw men and women Community life of any kind is difficult, or another way to say it would be, if there are two or more people living or working together, there will be some level of struggle between them. It helps if those who belong to a community share the same values, though the difficulties will always be there. Some groupings are forced more or less. Going to school, being in the military, the work place of course, or perhaps the most difficult situation, being in some
markdohle

markdohle

4

Can't please anyone

Can’t please anyone One of the great things about being Catholic is that from a very early age the realities of bigotry and ignorance have to be dealt with. I am sure that anyone who belongs to any grouping (be it racial or religious or political) has to deal with this in one way or another, but being Catholic I think brings the reality of prejudices to the fore, over and over and over again. It has also helped me to understand my own reactions and prejudices as well. How tightly they take h
markdohle

markdohle

4

An encounter with a possum

An encounter with a possum I get up early, not too early for those of us who live here, but it gives me enough time to make coffee for our retreatants, as well as to do my Lectio and devotions. Yesterday when I opened up the front door of our retreat house I noticed how pleasant it was, so I decided to go for a walk. Since we built our new Heritage center, we have lights scattered around so that the walkways can be seen. I personally like the lights they use over parking lots, as well as
markdohle

markdohle

4

Spinning our wheels

Spinning our wheels We cannot change others, we can only work on how we relate and or react to them. Unless we understand that the only way to deal with those who have negative affect on us is to take responsibility for ourselves, we will spend a great deal of time spinning our wheels.. Also with those we love and those we may feel a need for, it is very important to understand that we are called to love others, they are not here to just fulfill some inner need. To truly help others, to
markdohle

markdohle

4

A more fully human life (2nd talk for purity of heart and trust in God retreat)

A more fully human life (2nd talk for purity of heart and trust in God retreat) We think of ourselves has human, and we are. We also are also shocked when we read or hear about the depth of hatred and cruelty that we can do to one another. We can each of us be vindictive towards others, we can harm one another. Why are we shocked? When we think of humanity which is an archetypal image we tend to focus on what is best, or what we desire our human nature to be. For instance we will sa
markdohle

markdohle

4

Dark mood

Dark mood I have been in a dark mood lately. I am losing hope that as a species we will ever learn to communicate properly. Or, to actually listen intently enough to allow any real understanding of others from different groupings to actually happen…. even if does, it makes little difference because of its rarity. In saying this I know that I am part of the problem, even if at times I may do it unknowingly. Words; or one simple word, can trigger a response that is so emotional that it is
markdohle

markdohle

4

Empty Bottles

Empty Bottles Bottles on a table empty but beautiful to see, green and blue and clear glass together, filled with stillness, emptiness, overflowing with the light surrounding them, free from inner ferment, just waiting to be filled, or perhaps just being empty, a beauty all of its own. Not half full, nor half empty, just filled with contiguous luminosity, it is enough.
markdohle

markdohle

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Growing up in Panama Canal Zone on a military base (the sense of uprootedness)

Growing up in Panama Canal Zone on a military base (the sense of uprootedness) Before we moved to Panama in 1958, when I was ten, we changed our home base quite a bit. I got used to the moving and found it exciting. Moving into a new house was fun, meeting new people all the time and going to a different school not so much so. When we moved to Panama things became reversed. Right after we moved down there one of the first friends I made was to a boy, who was my age, nicknamed “Peanuts”
markdohle

markdohle

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