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talking to myself

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personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

The depths of God’s love for us

This hard to believe, the depths of God’s love for us ….I abhor sin and its ravages in My creatures. Sin given to Me ceases to exist; it is forever lost in the infinite ocean of My mercy, but sin clung to and held close to oneself becomes a poison, a cancer that spreads, destroying the spiritual organism that I designed for holiness and for eternal beatitude.   A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart --The Journal of a Priest at Prayer). Angelico Press. Kindle Ed

markdohle

markdohle

 

What do you want?

What do you want? The man look down trodden as we talked, world weary and bitter he seemed to me, he would not look up as he spoke, in low tones hard to hear. What is it you want I asked? Freedom from myself he responded, from my desires that drive me mad, my fears that give me no rest, inner emptiness that brings craving, I long for these self imposed chains to be gone. I said nothing, but waited, he continued: I know what I must do, yet I refuse, am I mad, or what, to cling to wh

markdohle

markdohle

 

A pleasant memory of my childhood in Panama

A pleasant memory of my childhood in Panama I find that when I am out in the woods, I can feel overwhelmed by all of the life surrounding me.  I get overloaded and can’t take it in.  I have always been that way.  The same goes when I am in a large place with lots of people.  If I do not shut down in some way, I get scattered, and tired, very quickly.  I can’t say I understand why this is so.  Music (apart from dancing) is the same, as well as food.  Though I do like to eat, a lot.  Yet I re

markdohle

markdohle

 

When do you stop helping someone?

When do you stop helping someone? How much should we help those who come for aid?  I believe that it is a serious consideration and each person has to figure that out for themselves.  One way to figure it out is to go the easy route.  Those in need are there because they are lazy, or, are addicted to either drink, or drugs, and helping them is, in reality, making them worse and codependent.  While I do believe that the concept of ‘codependence’ is a reality, yet I also accept as true tha

markdohle

markdohle

 

Fear and trust

Fear and trust Trust and fear can’t co-exist; one or the other has to eventually die.  As trust grows, no matter how slowly, fear lessens its hold, though this healing process may take years to accomplish.  This is so, because humans are finite beings, we have limitations and we can easily break trust with others.  For the one who breaks trust it may not always seem to be such a big matter, but to the one experiencing it, it may just be another cut into an already deep and festering wound.  We

markdohle

markdohle

 

The importance of having a perspective and being reasonable

The importance of having a perspective and being reasonable It is important to have a perspective on life, one that is thought about, pondered and also shared. As I age I have learned how complicated this can be when trying to communicate with others who come from a different way of perceiving reality. Viewpoints are good; they are like a light that shows some illumination, though perhaps not as much as would be liked, on the path that is walked. It is easy to fall into the trap of only

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markdohle

 

Beauty and fragility

Beauty and fragility Insects are a problem for us.  I guess you could say we are a war with them, a war we can’t win, but can only hold them back.  We have ‘people’ come in and spray around certain areas of the retreat house in order to keep insects out.  Or if they come in, they do not live long.  They cross over an invisible line that will poison them in short order.  The main reason we do this is to get the palmetto bugs (roaches for some) that like to come in seeking water etc.  We have

markdohle

markdohle

 

Love of books

Love of books I have always had a love affair with books The knowledge within their covers, Or worlds created, Lives lived, Decisions made, Lessons learned, or not. Each a world unto themselves, The authors like a god of sorts, Creating out of simple love of the art. I haunt book stores Looking, Seeking, For the Book, A mirror of my inner state, Seeking more knowledge, Wisdom, Knowing they all point To the one seeking us all.

markdohle

markdohle

 

Do what is just, to show constant love

Do what is just, to show constant love No, the Lord has told us what is good. What he requires of us is this:  to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God. (Micah 6:8) Last night I had to spend some time at Grady Hospital here in Atlanta. I had to sit with a friend in the trauma unit there. I had to get to the trauma unit through the emergency room entrance. Before anyone can enter the ER at Grady, there is a metal detector that has to b

markdohle

markdohle

 

Being conned, what to do?

Being conned, what to do? October 4—“Above all, confidence! When you have an anxiety and you can do nothing about it, just think, ‘He will straighten that out for me’—and go back into the peace within Me.”   Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 630-632). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition.     I received a letter from one of the prisoners that I am corresponding with.  I will call him Jason.  He is 55 years old, and in jail for three different felonies.  Parole violatio

markdohle

markdohle

 

The hidden drama within each of us

The hidden drama within each of us Our abbot, Dom Augustine, gave a very good homily this Sunday during Mass.  There was a phrase that jumped out at me as he was speaking, and it still keeps bouncing around in mind.  He talked about the hidden drama that goes on in each life.  Dramas that are deep and often hidden even from those who struggle with them.  They often show themselves in our daily lives and in the crazy self-destructive actions/choices that we make.  I would perhaps be more hon

markdohle

markdohle

 

A gentlewoman named Pam, her inner discovery

A gentlewoman named Pam, her inner discovery One of the perks of being retreat/guest master is that I get to meet so many wonderful, diverse, people.  One of these retreatants is a woman named Pam.  She is a very down to earth woman, who has a mature faith and has more than enough wisdom to share with others.  She is also deeply involved with helping those who are poor and on the fringe of society.  She is a little younger than me, but when she smiles, or laughs, she seems very young ind

markdohle

markdohle

 

The importance of Scripture, and literature

The importance of Scripture, literature, and cartoons I am writing a prisoner (I will call him John) at this time whom I have only written four letters.  He is very intelligent and a good writer as well.  He also loves reading.  Today he shared with me the title of a book he is reading called ‘Sacred Romance’.  The author when talking about the stories in the Old Testament brings to light how epic it is.  There are villains, heroes, tragedy, and humor and in the end, the good guy wins.  I t

markdohle

markdohle

 

Pray in trust

Pray in trust Pray using My Mother’s Rosary, even when you feel that your prayer is empty or mechanical, or when you are beset by distractions. The decision to pray pleases My Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of My Mother. A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart--The Journal of a Priest at Prayer Discipline is needed for any endeavor that is given priority in one’s life.  For people of all faiths or those who are seeking, for many of them, prayer and medita

markdohle

markdohle

 

Resentment, anger and forgiveness retreat

Resentment, anger and forgiveness retreat Having a retreat this weekend on Resentment, Anger and Forgiveness. It is not an easy one to give, since our relationships can be so painful, or even impossible.  How to deal with it.  Below is are some scribbling s    on the subject. {We are a species who are involved in an inner struggle, at least for those who wish to live a humane life.  Those who look inward don’t always see just what is bright and beautiful, but also things that are besti

markdohle

markdohle

 

Will my soul find rest?

Will my soul find rest? I always feel tired. When I die Lord will my soul find rest? Is love true and joy a reality, or a dream of the old and weary as life runs down?

markdohle

markdohle

 

Conversion is not about superficial change

Conversion is not about superficial change "Ask ourselves every day: how have I gone from worldliness, from sin to grace?"  "Have I made room for the Holy Spirit so that he could act?" Conversion isn't about superficial change, like applying makeup, the pope said; it requires a change within that has been brought about by the Holy Spirit. ---Pope Francis The Holy Spirit is symbolized by fire.  To think of the Holy Spirit is to contemplate the love between the Father, and the Son.  The

markdohle

markdohle

 

Letter by letter, word by word,

Letter by letter, word by word, Writing allows the soul to speak, Bringing to consciousness, Letter by letter, word by word, What lies beneath, The joy unspoken, Rage feared, Wisdom unknown, That would remain hidden forever, Without this divine gift. Birds sing, People write, Both giving glory To the true artist Eternal, Lavish in giving gifts.

markdohle

markdohle

 

No Kidding

No Kidding   The other night I saw on the web that a study was conducted on whether human beings were ‘dangerous’.  It turned out after possibly years of study that we are actually dangerous and not only that but murderous as well.  As I was reading this I felt some incredulity.  What a waste of time and money.  I would think that most people who have any inkling of self knowledge would already know that.  Or if not, just pick up the newspaper.  It reminded me of another study which I

markdohle

markdohle

 

LA–LA-LA... BOOK BY Kate DiCamillo

LA–LA-LA A BOOK BY Kate DiCamillo Illustrated by Jaime Kim by Candlewick pres\   My good friend Gail, came to visit me this week. She was a Liberian before she retired and to tell you the truth, she still is actually. I have always loved books, but as I age, I find myself reading slower so can’t plow through as many as I did when young. Also, I find myself rereading many books now that I am old and gray and loving it. Books can be good and faithful friends, always sharing more wisdom wit

markdohle

markdohle

 

Calm in the storm(the gift of self-awareness)

Calm in the storm (the gift of self-awareness) I have two fish, ‘albino-catfish’ in a small aquarium.  They take little care, just change the water, about a third of a tank once a month and add when needed in between.  I guess these fish are from a long line of ancestors born in captivity and they seem content, but really, how would I know.  I do know that they are beautiful to watch and they seem ‘happy’ enough in their tank.  Perhaps in captivity, they live longer than in the larger ‘

markdohle

markdohle

 

Our images of God

Our images of God (The fear of the Lord is awe, not flinching) “Here is the great novelty of Christianity: A God that, although disappointed by our mistakes and our sins, does not fail in His word; He doesn’t stop and, above all, He doesn’t retaliate! Brothers and sisters, God doesn’t retaliate! God loves, He doesn’t retaliate, He waits to forgive us, to embrace us. Through the …— through situations of weakness and sin –, God continues to put in circulation the “new wine” of his vineya

markdohle

markdohle

 

NO, NO, NO, not again

NO, NO, NO, not again Don't you just love receiving those nice reflections or prayers, or whatever, that start off with guilt, like "I wonder who will send this back to me, or forward it to others".....implying that if you don't your a coward who does not love Jesus, or baby animals, or the green movement or Obama.. I sort of get a little angry and DELETE! I know the people who send them mean well....but come on.One of my non-favorites is a novena to a certain saint, and after you read it, a

markdohle

markdohle

 

Which Cross will you carry?

Which Cross will you carry?   “The life of a Christian is nothing but a perpetual struggle against self; there is no flowering of the soul to the beauty of its perfection except at the price of pain” ― Padre Pio   People often balk when they read comments like the above; or when Jesus talks about dying to self and taking up one's cross in order to follow him in life.  What is often forgotten is that anything we give our hearts and mind to, demands the same thing.  People give up everyt

markdohle

markdohle

 

A quiet sadness as well as joy-Advent Season

A quiet sadness as well as joy Advent Season 2017   I have not written much about Advent this year, well actually, I have written nothing.  Sometimes the sadness in the world and the chaos and war mute my soul, it is a quiet place.  I may act happy and joyful on the outside, and while it is not completely untrue, yet I seemed wrapped in an inner silence, a place of sorrow as well as expectation.  My dreams have been strange over the last two weeks as well.  Being in a Monastery, I gu

markdohle

markdohle