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talking to myself

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personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

Each person God’s only Child

Each person God’s only Child (I forget sometimes)   Quote: You are afraid of distractions, of daydreams, and of foolish thoughts; these do not offend Me because they are no more than flies buzzing in the background.   I am absorbed by your presence before Me. Does it shock you that I should say such a thing? But I am absorbed by you: My eyes rest upon you; My Heart is all yours; I am listening intently to you; and all My attention is focused on you when you come seeking Me. B

markdohle

markdohle

 

In the presence of God in silence

In the presence, in silence, before the Trinity Christian meditation is about being in the presence, in silence, before the Trinity, it is not a passive act, but an opening up of one’s heart, mind, and soul. Most of our thoughts are not really personal, they are tapes that play over and over again, keeping us from being able to grow not only in self-knowledge but in not being afraid of our inner thoughts. We often demonize them, I believe. Most people who pray will likely find moments of sil

markdohle

markdohle

 

Prayer and Silence

Prayer and Silence There are days when my morning meditation goes well, and of course, that can be said of my seeking to deepen my prayer life throughout the day. On other days it varies.  I can be tired, or agitated, angry, or perhaps anxious over something……or just simply unsettled, without knowing the reason….it happens.  Focus does not come easy, scattered thoughts float to the surface.  Even saying the rosary can at times be of no help.  So what to do?  Keeping it simple, reall

markdohle

markdohle

 

The command

The command One look can plumb the depths, open the heart, or close it shut, heal, or wound, lift up, or tear down, The gaze of the Lord, heals, and wounds, and heals again, because it sees the depths of the heart, and loves what is seen, “Love of Self as we love others” is a command from Infinite Compassion.--Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

 

The church becomes a tomb(Holy Saturday)

The church becomes a tomb (Holy Saturday) On the day after ‘Good Friday’, all Catholic churches lack the presence of the Sanctuary –Light, that is a reminder for the faithful that the Light-of-the-World is present under the form of bread. The Eucharistic presence is a true sign of what it means by the scriptural term “God with us”. God tents with us in our tabernacles, which is also a sign pointing to the heart of each human being, which is also a tabernacle. Whatever we do to another h

markdohle

markdohle

 

Holy Week for Christians is unique to each​

Holy Week for Christians is unique to each Holy Week for Christians is unique to each Holy Week for Christians is unique to each. For some it is a week wherein they renew their faith and try to understand the mystery of Christ on a deeper level. For others, Holy Week is a time of distress; as if a heavy weight has been placed over their shoulders and all they can do is get through the week. I fall into the second category and I think it is due to the fact that I know, I will never

markdohle

markdohle

 

Palm Sunday/The Rising of Lazarus

Palm Sunday/The Rising of Lazarus from the dead   On Palm Sunday, when Jesus entered Jerusalem, there was a lot of excitement about him.  He was known in the area as a miracle worker, a healer, and for many, the coming Messiah who would usher in a new era for the Jewish Nation.  He had a lot of opposition by the powers that be, and looked upon as a threat to the survival of the nation.  Then there was the story about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead!  In midst of that excitement was a mix

markdohle

markdohle

 

Mercy Given

Mercy Given To receive mercy is pure gift, no one can demand this healing balm, justice for-gone to touch a suffering soul, whose heart is hard from sin’s scalding wound, Pain received, and then shared, is sins legacy, others paying for the guilt of another, poisonous fruit, is evil’s gift, endless cycles of suffering, absurdity, and death. 7 times 70 is God’s code for mercy, no end, infinite in scope, to embrace ones pain and to not scapegoat is the road to mercy and healing

markdohle

markdohle

 

Distress

Distress Before his entrance into Jerusalem on that Palm Sunday, Jesus told how deep his distress was to his followers, for he knew that goodness often feeds the rage of those wounded, his loving heart made him defenseless against such tumult. So he entered, we cheered him, waving palms, he smiled perhaps sadly and with compassion, for he knows what is in the hearts of men; the pain, anger, the desires that can drive us crazy and the rage against God and existence itself, so filled

markdohle

markdohle

 

The Lady with Purple Hair

The Lady with Purple Hair She stood in the middle of the parking lot, thin, wearing a white sweater, with purple hair, she looked lost, standing there reading from a piece of paper. She was in my way, standing in the middle of the entrance of a row, to the parking lot; because of how she looked, I did not want to draw attention to myself…so I managed to get by her. I parked, she “The lady” was slowly meandering across the parking spaces, not paying the slightest attention to the t

markdohle

markdohle

 

Hate is the very breath of hell

Hate is the very breath of hell September 12—Holy Hour. “Don’t you think that if you were to spend this entire hour of adoration repeating the words, ‘Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,’ you would not be wasting your time? For My will is all love. It is out of love that you ask Me for it, and when the sum of all the love on earth is greater than the sum of hate, that will be a step forward. Hate is not from heaven. Hate is the very breath of hell. Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I

markdohle

markdohle

 

I will never fully understand God’s grace

I will never fully understand God’s grace   “When you say to Me, ‘Beloved Jesus I give you my entire life,’ do you realize that at the same time I’ve given you more, since even what you are giving Me is what I’ve given you? Admit that everything you have comes from Me. It’s all a gift from Me, not to display My power, not chosen at random, but by My most attentive love—chosen especially for you, My children—for your path in life, in order to help you to reach the goal that is yours. Bossis,

markdohle

markdohle

 

The weight can be heavy, for some too heavy

The weight can be heavy, for some too heavy As I was driving one fine Georgia day, the sun was out, a bit chilly, yes, a wonderful day. Coming from the airport, I approached my exit on I-75, a place where I would give money to whoever was there. Most of the time there is no one, but I always get something ready if there is, something I do because to pass someone in need throughout the many stop signs in the city would harm me I believe, shutting my hear further which is alre

markdohle

markdohle

 

Be aware!

Be aware! (Br. Cassian) Chapter talk I gave on   2/24/19   Bernard had it in his heart the need to be constant in following his vocation, so that he constantly said in his heart, and even often on his lips, “Bernard, Bernard.  What have you come for? “William of St. Thierry   Over the years, retreat masters, abbots, and those who I went to for spiritual-direction, would often bring up this question:  “What have you come for.”  This quote has been used so often that it can become a m

markdohle

markdohle

 

Walking on the waves

Walking on the waves   Oh Lord, I dive into mercy, my sins, wounds, and raging emotions burned away by your loving gaze. I look to you, Lord, walking on the water in my inner storm, I look to you upon the waves taking one step at a time, And when I forget and wander, Or allow fear to wound me yet again, so I begin to sink beneath the waves, it is then that you reach out and bring me up, embracing me in my messiness, loving me into beginning again… How loving you are towa

markdohle

markdohle

 

A place of beautiful, wounded, raw humanity

A place of beautiful, wounded, raw humanity I feel at home at the veteran’s hospital in Atlanta, a place for men and women who have seen much, who carry their burdens for all to see, not in shame, but just their lives. Many are old like me, some very young, so much for war and its fruits, wounded men and women, many adrift, they wear their hats stating which service they served in, with pride, not shame, even if bitter and angry over how their lives turned out. The hallways are

markdohle

markdohle

 

Blessed are the merciful

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.   The Beatitude I want to speak on is the one that speaks of mercy.   Or about the merciful.  However, I want to start off with this quote from Matt:  7:1-5 Judging Others 7 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is i

markdohle

markdohle

 

My brothers and sisters

My brothers and sisters Oh Lord, I pray for those like me, whose inner life is chaotic, filled with images of conflict and strife, yet who seek to love in spite of this inner war. My community is with the broken, not among the strong and virtuous, for gifts are just that, a given….grace to share with others, perhaps my wounds and struggles, for me and as well as for all of us are for others as well, for Lord, it is our wounds you carry, our burdens you embrace, should we not do

markdohle

markdohle

 

The inner life

The inner life When thinking about the inner life, the vibrant pulsating world that we all have that is hidden from others, the picture that comes to mind is one of a very large jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces scattered around, and the main focus of that inner world is to try to put the pieces back together again. Fragmentation is a good word to use, when thinking about this reality, different aspects of the inner man, some parts at war with others, some aspects desiring death, and othe

markdohle

markdohle

 

Expansion of Heart

Expansion of Heart February 25, 2019 Monthly Message to Marija: “Dear children! Today, I am calling you to a new life. It is not important how old you are, open your heart to Jesus who will transform you in this time ofgrace and, like nature, you will be born into a new life in God’s love, and you will open your heart to Heaven and the things of Heaven. I am still with you, because God permitted me out of love for you. Thank you for having responded to my call.” Before God, the Ete

markdohle

markdohle

 

Our greatest prison

Our greatest prison Alfredo Bencomo, is a family brother here at the Monastery.  He has a prison ministry, he goes in and gives talks in the local jail once a week.  He wanted me to write something for the prisoners to read, about not coming back after they are released.  He tells them, “Returning to prison is not an option”.  He seems to have a real gift with prisoners, they respond to him.  The fact that he looks like a bouncer has nothing to do with it ( I think).  Here is the piece I wro

markdohle

markdohle

 

Prayer for the dead

Prayer for the dead (community day of remembrance) Lord, today we pray for those who have gone before us, those we know and those we do not, our Christians brothers and sisters, and all those who have died seeking love, truth, and justice in this world.  For those who have loved truly, yet need further mercy, and healing, such is the work of your grace. Each moment is yours, as is each soul, all are known and loved by you, such is your heart, eternal, and infinite in love and comp

markdohle

markdohle

 

“Depart from me for I am a sinful man”

“Depart from me for I am a sinful man”   This a beautiful homily that the Abbot (Dom Augustine) gave this last Sunday  This is a beautiful take on Lk: 5:1-11 5th Sunday of Ordinary Time      February 5  2019            Lk 5: 1-11 In today’s gospel we have the powerful scene of Peter on his knees saying: “Depart from me for I am a sinful man”. I ponder it first thinking of what Jesus did not say explicitly or implicitly: He did not say to Peter you really are not. Don’t be hard on yours

markdohle

markdohle