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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

When we begin

When we begin When someone makes a choice to change, say for instance, a man decides to be more attentive to his wife, what happens is that he becomes more aware of ways that he was not attentive, hence a deepening of self awareness and perhaps inner struggle. When someone wants to become more loving or compassionate, he or she will soon see how easy it is to fail, or how difficult to overcome old ways of doing things. If a choice is not made, to use a Christian term, "to die to a way of life

markdohle

markdohle

 

When we are at our lowest

When we are at our lowest I believe Christians, which of course I include myself, can into trouble when they fall into the habit of just quoting scriptures without actually learning from the life of Jesus himself. How he treated others, in the way he responded to those who considered themselves his enemies, his relationship with those who were considered outcast and worthless. When the actual life of Jesus is forgotten, then the Christian path can become an ideology, closed, narrow and fi

markdohle

markdohle

 

When the time comes

When the Christian finally comes to understand who it is who stands before him or her. Labels abandoned, Seeing deeply what faith demands, The truth we are asked to embrace. The highest and lowest, Best and the worst, Only subjective constructs With no reality before infinite love, Only the image and likeness seen. When that time comes If it ever does, Will the light spread to others. False boundaries, Evil illusions, The reflective image hated, Se

markdohle

markdohle

 

When the ego is weak

When the ego is weak “It is your faults, My children that make you unhappy. recognize when you are in the wrong. Let your thoughts probe to the depths of your misery. He and I by Gabrielle Bossis Pauline Books of Boston When the ego is weak it is difficult to admit faults. Our habitual actions or reactions that we develop in our lives can keep us in a state of perpetual struggle with others. If we struggle with those who are in the same boat we are, then it can

markdohle

markdohle

 

When the ego is weak

When the ego is weak “It is your faults, My children that make you unhappy. Recognize when you are in the wrong. Let your thoughts probe to the depths of your misery. He and I by Gabrielle Bossis Pauline Books of Boston When the ego is weak it is difficult to admit faults. Our habitual actions or reactions that we develop in our lives can keep us in a state of perpetual struggle with others. If we struggle with those who are in the same boat we are, then it

markdohle

markdohle

When the ego is weak

When the ego is weak

When the ego is weak   “It is your faults, My children that make you unhappy. Recognize when you are in the wrong. Let your thoughts probe to the depths of your misery. He and I by Gabrielle Bossis Pauline Books of Boston   When the ego is weak it is difficult to admit faults. Our habitual actions or reactions that we develop in our lives can keep us in a state of perpetual struggle with others. If we struggle with those who are in the same boat we are, then it can become even more violen

markdohle

markdohle

 

When something hits close to home (the attack in Paris)

When something hits close to home The Attack in Paris When hearing about some horror or another on the news, and seeing it all over YouTube, it can have an affect on us but is soon pushed back in our consciousness. Tragedy is what happens to others, for like death we can often live in denial on how contingent our safety is as well as our lives. We are all fragile, easily hurt and killed if someone wants to attack us. So what happened in France, hits closer to home because it is a first

markdohle

markdohle

When our time comes

When our time comes

When our time comes   When we die, on our death bed, hopefully, wore out and tired, will people mourn for us, or be happy that we are gone? It is not always easy to be a decent loving human being, it is no easier to be someone who makes life miserable for others. In one, we struggle with ourselves to spare others, and n that we find friends and many who love us. In the other, we put or misery on others to seek to escape anger and pain, but in the end, all we get is ourselves poured back sevenf

markdohle

markdohle

 

When our journey truly commences

When our true journey truly commences “The Father who waits for us in order to cast off our garments of exhaustion, of apathy, of mistrust, so He can clothe us “with the dignity which only a true father or mother knows how to give their children, with the garments born of tenderness and love.”---Pope Francis Lent is a time of reflection, of attempting to grow deeper into our faith, of seeking a more intimate relationship with Christ Jesus, making it real and not just something we say w

markdohle

markdohle

 

When our journey begins

When our journey begins One of the biggest issues that come up with people on a spiritual path that is theistic is their own projections onto God.  We project on to each other all the time and it can cause serious issues in relating.  If the projection is positive or negative, it can have the same result, a break down of relationship…why?  Well because it is not real, there is an actual person beneath the projection and no real friendship or marriage can happen until that is dealt with.  Th

markdohle

markdohle

 

When maturity takes hold

When maturity takes hold Mercy leads to healing, which can take years to accomplish as maturity takes hold and inner honesty takes deeper root. So mercy is yes a grace, freely given, not only by God but also by humans (again I feel a sign of grace active in the world), that is like a leaven, that slowly does its work as we continue on our journey. Perhaps that is what the ‘life review’ is about, that are lived out by those who have a “near death experience”. For we often hurt those whom we

markdohle

markdohle

 

When life feels cold and dark

When life feels cold and dark and I am naked and shivering within (When I am afraid, I put my trust in you)---Psalm 56:3 Sometimes I feel fear.  It is when I become strongly aware of the suffering that goes on around me.  On how common it is to have sick friends, people I love who are dying and my own aging as well.  It is as if everything I tell myself about my faith and hope drops away and I am left shivering in a cold dark place.  I do not like it ‘here’, but I also know that it is just li

markdohle

markdohle

 

When life feels cold and dark

When life feels cold and dark and I am naked and shivering within (When I am afraid, I put my trust in you)---Psalm Sometimes I feel fear.  It is when I become strongly aware of the suffering that goes on around me.  On how common it is to have sick friends, people I love who are dying and my own aging as well.  It is as if everything I tell myself about my faith and hope drops away and I am left shivering in a cold dark place.  I do not like it ‘here’, but I also know that it is just like e

markdohle

markdohle

 

When it happens

When it happens Trust comes into play when our naive ideas about God are faced, and life is understood as a journey filled with meaning, though it is often a hard and lonely road for us all. Abba was the word Jesus used for God, He trusted in his Abba even when the chalice was not taken away, he drank it to the full; easy no, trusting yes.

markdohle

markdohle

 

When is the true nature of joy understood?

When is the true nature of joy understood? “Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.” ― Simone Weil Healthy detachment is not indifference.  Nor is it something cold and aloof.  The detachment that is based on fear is a way of self protection from the chaos that seems to be a part of everyone’s life.  Attachment can be a form of slavery.  First, we seek ‘another’, yet the ‘other’ is often a carrier of our own unfu

markdohle

markdohle

 

When is harsh treatment acceptable when shari

When is harsh treatment acceptable when sharing the Gospel?   Humans understand many human behaviors simply because we are all capable of it.  It is easy to point to others and say they are being ‘over the top’ in how they are relating to others than it is to see it in ourselves.  For instance, when someone is called ‘narrow minded’, it is often used on those who think differently on a subject.  It is a defensive stance; being narrow minded has nothing to do with it.  Though the pe

markdohle

markdohle

 

When in pain

When in pain Anguish can often lead to a level of self-centeredness that makes it very difficult for others to either help, or deal effectively, with the one suffering. I can remember times in my life when I was in deep turmoil and all I could think about was how to get out of it. I had no time to consider others. Most people understand this and give people who are going through a time of crisis lee way and are forgiving to a degree that may not be given in less shattering circumstances.

markdohle

markdohle

 

When in heaven I will dance (Lord give me the

When in heaven I will dance (Lord give me the eyes to see beauty) This morning the Abbot gave a talk on beauty.  His talks are good and there usually one point that will jump out at me and won’t let go.  He talked about seeing others, having the eyes to see what is perhaps hidden behind our walls of protection.  I do believe that what Jesus said about becoming a child is true, yet perhaps another way to look at this is to understand that he understood us and knew that in reality we

markdohle

markdohle

 

When identity is torn away

When identity is torn away One of the prisoners I am writing, his name is Sean, an Irish citizen, who grew up when the violence was at its height.  His life has been rough, his father who was in the IRA was killed in a terrorist attack and he lost other friends to this civil war in his part of Ireland.  Because of his background, to say he has anger issues is an understatement and one of the reasons he is in Jail.  Though there are other reasons as well.  He will soon be getting out of pr

markdohle

markdohle

When I was a young Monk

When I was a young Monk

When I Was a Young Monk   Thoughts on two of our Founding Fathers   (Fr. Corentine 1st row first on left.  Fr. Francis second monk down from Fr. Corentine)   My schedule for Sunday is different since I do not work the morning shift in our infirmary.  So I can spend the first hour or so doing Lectio.  Then I spend some time before Vigils (our first office of the day at 4 AM) doing my meditation.  I guess one of the blessings about aging, and actually getting old, is that a routine becomes

markdohle

markdohle

When I dream, it is my world, then I wake up.

When I dream, it is my world, then I wake up.

When I dream, it is my world, then I wake up. Sometimes, Lord, I would like something to hold on to, yet that is impossible for all I have is this naked moment, then there is this instant, and now yet another one! When young, it was my world, now I am not sure what my world is anymore, for like sand in my hand, my days slip through, falling, where I wonder, all that sand I cannot grasp? When I dream, it is my world, then I wake up. Sometimes during the day, I will wake up as well,

markdohle

markdohle

When I danced I forgot myself

When I danced I forgot myself

When I danced I forgot myself “O try to exchange self-love for God-love. No longer think of yourself at all. How this would lighten you! And what a new entry into Me! For I am eternally new. I am the infinite one, and it is for the Infinite that you have been created.” Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 2423-2425). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. ++++++++++ There are moments when I can let go of my constant self-concern. It is then that I do actually feel a ligh

markdohle

markdohle

 

When humans fly

When humans fly Humans fly when they dance, when the mind is at rest and rhythm speaks, the blood burns from the beat, slow or fast is not important, it is the letting go and allowing the body to move, to flow and glide, one with the partner, time stops, only the joy remains.

markdohle

markdohle

 

When Heart Speaks to Heart

In Sinu Jesu (When Heart Speaks to Heart) Angelico Press In Christianity, the central core is the revelation that ‘The Infinite’, the ‘Wholly Other’; ‘That which cannot be named’; is revealed to us as a deeply personal loving God, In Jesus Christ.  Many prefer Deism, an impersonal force who made the Universe, then left it alone.  A relationship does not enter into the equation, nor any concept of love, obedience and humble service to the creator. Christians often forget the depth of God

markdohle

markdohle