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talking to myself

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personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

A man who failed every Lenten Season

A man who failed every Lenten Season (Saying the Chaplet of Mercy)   One day a few years ago, one of the retreatants here approached me and asked to see me.  He looked somewhat distraught.  As we sat down he told me how frustrated he was with himself over his weakness and inability to live out his resolution for Lent.  “I have never had a good Lent,” he told me.  I thought to myself, this might not be the best time to let him know that I am pretty much in the same boat as he is. 

markdohle

markdohle

 

Fragmented Mirrors

Fragmented Mirrors Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves. William Hazlitt It is easier to hide things from ourselves than with others. We pick each other up, because often, we complain and are upset the most by those who actually do the same things we do. Being a ‘know it all’, or a ‘gossip’, or someone who is ‘lazy’ and ‘narrow minded’… the list I guess can be a lot longer than the one above. Or we demand that everyone be treated in a strict manne

markdohle

markdohle

 

A down to earth prosaic place (Chapter talk)

A down to earth prosaic place (Chapter talk 14 Dec 2017)  At the end of the Chapter on the Tools of Good Works, St Benedict says ‘These then are the tools of the spiritual craft …. And ….The workshop where we are to toil faithfully at all these tasks is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in the community.’  The monastery as St Benedict describes it is a workshop. It is not the paradise of the cloister. It is a workshop. It is a very down to earth or prosaic place. A wor

markdohle

markdohle

 

Prayer/Mediation/ and the Mind-of-Christ

Prayer/Mediation/ and the Mind-of-Christ The distinction is a false one I believe, that prayer and meditation are different or that one is better than the other. Prayer and meditation for a Christian is to be more open to the love of the Father as revealed through Jesus Christ. There is a saying, "Pray the way you can and not how you can’t". People try to force themselves to do something that is not helpful. We are each unique in how we pray. I love the Rosary, pray it slowly and just be

markdohle

markdohle

 

So we must all pray for one another,

So we must all pray for one another, support each other, and never give up.  “Dear children! I am calling you to be generous in renunciation, fasting, and prayer for all those who are in temptation and are your brothers and sisters. In a special way, I am imploring you to pray for priests and for all the consecrated, that they may love Jesus still more fervently; that the Holy Spirit may fill their hearts with joy; that they may witness Heaven and Heavenly mysteries. Many souls are

markdohle

markdohle

 

Some things are out of our control

Some things are out of our control   There is a lot to life that is out of our control.  Our aging for instances, time makes sure that we keep on moving on. One second, day, week, month, year and decade at a time; the ride does not stop until we do.  It is like an apple that drops from the tree; once it starts it won’t stop until it lands.  We all have to deal with this, until we have our landing day.  I guess being a pilgrim could be visualized as our being born (falling from the tr

markdohle

markdohle

 

There are days, well you know what I mean

There are days, well you know what I mean Continue to be patient; it will all be for your good.—Padre Pio There are days when things go well and very smooth, I am in a good place and when a small bump comes up I glide through it.  On those days, patience is not needed.  I love it when everything goes my way, or my mood is such that even if events go sideways, I can just laugh it off.  Then there are days when everything bothers me.  When I feel like if one more thing goes wrong, or if

markdohle

markdohle

 

Of that yes, we must be afraid

Of that yes, we must be afraid “Jesus is the Lord, and before Him physical death is like sleep: there is no reason to despair. A different [thing] is the death to be afraid of: that of the heart hardened by evil! Of that yes, we must be afraid!” the pope said July 1. “It is the death of the heart.”—Pope Francis There are people who have a strong reaction when it comes to the concept of ‘sin’.   Understandable, because it can be used to instill the wrong kind of guilt.  The concept of sin, in

markdohle

markdohle

Cough it up and out

Cough it up and out

Cough it up and out One day a woman asked me why she needed to forgive her parents, who were very 'cruel' parents. In responding, I decided to use a very graphic image. "To forgive is like spitting up a hairball I told her. 'There is some healing in doing that. Over time, as you have to forgive over and over, the hairball gets smaller, and your pain becomes less. Your parents no longer have a hold on you". Then we talked about praying for her parents. Why (?), she asked again. So I respon

markdohle

markdohle

 

Becoming Jesus

Becoming Jesus March 10—Crossing the Saint-Nicolas, Nantes. “I am no longer on earth, so take My place.” Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 306-307). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition.   I do believe, that the Lord does speak to us today, through certain men, and women.  These communications are based on the Lord’s desire to draw us deeper into communication with Himself, based on his revelation of the Father to humanity.  For to see Jesus, is to see the Father.  Jesus

markdohle

markdohle

 

Mercy beyond understanding

Mercy beyond understanding   Then I heard the words:  "As you are united with Me in life, so will you be united at the moment of death".  After these words, such great trust in God’s great mercy was awakened in my soul that,  even if I had had the sins of the whole world, as well as the sins of all the condemned souls weighing on my conscience, I would not have doubted God’s goodness but, without hesitation, would have thrown myself into the abyss of the divine mercy, which is alw

markdohle

markdohle

 

in each heart, all hearts reside

I believe that in each heart, all hearts reside My friendship is not earned, it is not something acquired by measuring up to the standards of perfection that you have set for yourself. My friendship is pure gift.1 It is the gift of My Sacred Heart and I offer it freely. So few souls understand this. You are sanctified by living in My friendship. All the rest is secondary. Love Me and believe in My unconditional love for you. Trust Me. Show Me that you have confidence in My merciful goodness,

markdohle

markdohle

 

Anger and fear, but anxiety really sucks

Anger and fear, but anxiety really sucks Anger I can deal with. This very strong and powerful emotion has so much been a part of my life, for so long, that a certain peace has come with it. It is like having a good friend who has tantrums from time to time, and over the long haul have learned to live with it. No matter what I am doing there is always an awareness of it. Sometimes it sleeps like a lion waiting to wake up, and see if anything needs to be taken care of. Almost hungry for the c

markdohle

markdohle

 

I can’t leave my pets behind!

I can’t leave my pets behind! A couple of days before Florence came to shore, I called an old family friend, (an adopted aunt), who was very close to my mother.  She is now 85 years old, and from what she tells me, is in great health.  She lives in Myrtle Beach and I was worried about her.  I asked her if she was going to evacuate as was recommended by the authorities.  She lives close to the water, so my concern was pretty high.  She said, “no, I have too many pets and can’t leave them, Debbi

markdohle

markdohle

 

To bring our head above water and breathe

To bring our head above water and breathe deeply All you need do is get through the day and trust. It sounds easy, but no it is not. To choose, always take thought and dedication, as well as the faith to always begin again. When the sky darkens and the heart seems to grow cold, that is when we are called to bring our head above the water and breathe deeply. The inner path is not glamorous, nor about 'experience' no matter how profound, but about simple practice, prayer and meditati

markdohle

markdohle

 

Grace, is in reality, God-seeking each of us

Grace, is in reality, God-seeking each of us in our lives   I remain unknown. I am left alone. Even those who claim to profess the mystery of My real presence in the Sacrament of the Altar forsake Me. I am treated with a terrible indifference, with coldness, and with a lack of respect that causes the angels to weep because they cannot offer Me reparation for the coldness and indifference of human hearts.1 Only men can make reparation for men.2 What is lacking is the loving response of a huma

markdohle

markdohle

 

Being thankful for the dark times

Being thankful for the dark times (A thanksgiving retreat) We had a retreat on thankfulness this Mon-Wed of this week.  This time of the year the number is usually small; we had five participants.  Usually we have larger groups.  I do like the smaller ones however.  When I started off the discussion, I reminded the group that when thinking about ones life and being thankful, we are also led to those times when we struggled and perhaps failed in a major way and in the end we find ourse

markdohle

markdohle

 

Reduced to silence

Reduced to silence (The Word Became Flesh and Dwelt among Us) We see deeply within the Universe, distance unfathomable to our mind's eye, beyond what we perceive with our powerful telescopes there are more Galaxies that stretch forever? Well, no, of course not, it is finite, with a beginning and an ending. Our minds can travel this vast expanse, our hearts capable of enclosing all that is,  for is not the human heart Infinite, being made in the likeness of

markdohle

markdohle

 

We can entrust ourselves to God’s love at any

We can entrust ourselves to God’s love at any time “So many souls make little or no progress in the holiness that I desire for them because they do not trust in My grace. They attempt to change themselves by making use of purely human means and forget that I am all-powerful, all-merciful, and ready at every moment to heal and sanctify those who entrust themselves, with their weaknesses and sins, to My most loving Heart. I do not ask for perfection from those whom I have chosen to be My friends

markdohle

markdohle

 

Ann Sullivan, RIP

Ann Sullivan, RIP I first met Ann Sullivan, in 1995, and hired her to work in our kitchen.  My first impression of her was mixed.  She gave off the impression of a woman who had been through a lot and had some rough edges.  Yet at the same time, she had a good sense of humor and had a streak of stubbornness, that I liked.  She worked in our kitchen and was a good worker and for the most part got along well with the others who work there as well. One day her humor came out.  I walked in to se

markdohle

markdohle

 

We have one life

We have one life To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life;foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.---Buddha When dealing with grief as we are this weekend, people come together who have become diligent. The temporal nature of ‘things’, of people, our health and yes, youth and old age, all pass by and our self awareness is always watching. We can often forget that and get caught up in dramas that lead nowhere. People who have died and ar

markdohle

markdohle

 

To remember the dead

To remember the dead   Once a month our community has what we call a “Month’s mind mass” in remembrance of our dead, our community members who have passed on, our loved ones, friends and benefactor and those buried in our ‘Green Cemetery” across the way.  I believe that it is a beautiful tradition.  Some mornings during the meditation between nocturnes, I will go out in back of our church and during that time will remember those buried there.  I knew most of them and took care of them as

markdohle

markdohle

 

Overloaded and tired

Overloaded and tired (100 anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun) My heart, and soul, mind, and body, are overloaded with and from violence, guns, blood, and simple craziness. yet it will not stop for violence snowballs has been from time immemorial, and we get better at it, with clubs, then swords and arrows, guns, bombs, and nuclear explosions. Yes, my heart when I look within, or when ‘something’ breaks through forcing me to see and experience, I see a mi

markdohle

markdohle

 

Our relationships are important

Our relationships are important In any circumstance our relationships with others are important. As Christians we are called upon to look at all humans as brothers and sisters. Christ is calling us all beyond the normal familiar, national, racial and religious divides that we use to keep hatred and war going. Jesus identifies with the least…by that I believe Christ is saying that for those with whom we struggle, or don’t understand, or dislike etc., is where Christ Jesus is found. To lo

markdohle

markdohle

 

My struggle with water (anxiety)

My struggle with water (anxiety) When I was younger, I often thought of myself as mostly made up of fire.  Strong flames lapping up from my interior, experienced as anger, or lust, or of fear, and looking around, being on alert.  There were times when I would see myself sitting in a cave looking at a stone that was aflame.  It gave me warmth, and I felt protected while I was there.  Now the image I have of myself has changed.  I see myself sitting in a boat on waters that can be

markdohle

markdohle