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talking to myself

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personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

The human journey

The Human Journey (life needs to be lived, though it is not always understood) I remember when I was very young, that there were days when I felt very old.  Even then, I felt a certain type of inner fatigue….why does life have to be so hard I would intuit, if not actually think it out.  Of course, life was not always hard when young, but it was the times of struggle, and fear, that made the biggest splash in my small pond.  I used to like to sit and listen to adults talk.  Not sure why th

markdohle

markdohle

 

How are we to live?

How are we to live? What is really important in our lives?  When I look inward, when praying, or just thinking, I see a lot of real issues, some of them quite painful, but in the long run, they are smoke and ashes.  Sometimes I worry about how I am going to die.  Or fret, that I sense that my aging process, is like a snowball rolling downhill, it gets bigger and it will only stop when it hits something.  Or will just run out of momentum, and become still.  I am not always worried about my d

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Many roads to the one gate

Many roads to the one gate “I have another temple—your soul in a state of grace: a state of Me-in-you, since grace is your Christ. Who can ever know the joy it gives Me to be loved there, even if the love is feeble. Do you know what it is to feel at home in a soul? To be the one waited for, the most loved, the most understood, the head of the household even though I am so ready to fulfill the desires of this one who lives for Me alone. Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 3535-3

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markdohle

 

God's Kindness?

God’s kindness?   February 12—Nantes. 5:35 AM The Way of the Cross.  “As you meditate on the Stations of the Cross, look at My eyes and see in them nothing but the utmost kindness and love in the midst of the torture.” Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 679-681). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. There is very little that I understand.  The older I get the more I am aware of this reality.  So if I live to be 99 and in good mental health, I will finally come to the co

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In suffering, we discover our unity

In suffering, we discover our unity March 29—After Communion. “Say, ‘Holy Father, I offer You Jesus living in my life and dying in my death. And I offer You the heart of Jesus in each one of my heartbeats.’ ” Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 693-695). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition. The Christian path is one of love and service towards others.  To belong to the Body of Christ is to invite suffering into our lives, because of the unity of hearts, united in the total

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I can’t leave my pets behind!

I can’t leave my pets behind! A couple of days before Florence came to shore, I called an old family friend, (an adopted aunt), who was very close to my mother.  She is now 85 years old, and from what she tells me, is in great health.  She lives in Myrtle Beach and I was worried about her.  I asked her if she was going to evacuate as was recommended by the authorities.  She lives close to the water, so my concern was pretty high.  She said, “no, I have too many pets and can’t leave them, Debbi

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To rekindle our ‘Child-Soul’

To rekindle our ‘Child-Soul’   April 15—I was listening to some children playing. “I love children. It is I who gave them all these delicate thoughts and feelings: complete trust, docility, a thirst for Jesus, candor and purity, absolute surrender and the forthright glance. You must keep the same sentiments with you right through life. For they come from Me and I so love to find them again in you when you are grown up. So find your child-soul again and give it to Me.”   Bossis, Gabrielle

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Fear of just ‘being’

Fear of just ‘being’   When you come to pray, it is not so much the words that matter; it is your loving attention to My presence that consoles My Heart. Give Me your attention, and I will work the wonders of My merciful love in your soul. Hold yourself facing Me. Abide in My presence gently, without forcing yourself to produce thoughts, feelings, or sensations. None of these things is necessary to a prayer that pleases Me and gives Me the freedom to act in a soul. All that is necessary is f

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Love your enemies...Really!?!

Love your enemies. Really!?! When we get it, we lose it, gods can be messy beings, just us in bigger form, best to let it go and love the mystery.   When I read the Scriptures, both the Old and the New Testament, I have more in common with what is going on in the time before Christ.  When I read the words of Jesus, especially the Sermon on the Mount, and on the Plain, I will often feel lost.  I read it, ponder it, pray about it, yet I know that I still don’t get it, or to put it in a b

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Facing our inner chaos with faith

Facing our inner chaos with faith   When all seems confused and inconsistent, then you must turn to Me with an even greater confidence, for I remain all wisdom, all love, all mercy, and nothing escapes My providence. Have no fear, for I remain constant even when you are inconstant.1 I am strong when you are but weakness. I am holiness itself when everything in you seeks compromise   A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart --The Journal of a Priest at Prayer (Kindle

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How do I say it in the right way?

How do I say it, do it, and am I doing it right? A retreatant came up to me yesterday and thanked me for giving him a rosary last year, while on retreat.  He still has it and showed it to me.  He wanted to ask me if he was saying the rosary correctly.  So I asked him how he said it, and he explained it to me.  So after he explained how he said it, I said, yes, sounds like you got it.  Then I added, there is no wrong way to say the rosary, each person will say it in their own unique way.  For i

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Prayer and the Expanding Heart

Prayer and the Expanding Heart   The human heart is very complex, often fearful, and quick to withdraw, placing up barriers to keep others out.  It is a form of both protection and death since it can become a self-made prison.   Some people need to be kept at a distance for many reasons, not all of them bad, but so dysfunctional that they only have their own pain to give.  At the beginning of one’s journey towards becoming more loving, which could be many years, discernment is needed.  For c

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You can’t stop it, so get over it

You can’t stop it, so get over it, live your life I do not mind aging for myself, (though in my friends, well I do not like it, they're getting older) in any case, it cannot be stopped, little bits here and there reduced or lost, and body parts once taken for granted have to be attended to because of pain, energy levels lower and by 3 PM, well, let us say, I do get by, I read and doze off, then read again, my eyes work better on some mornings than others, quite a litany, so commo

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markdohle

 

Prison, lonliness and the human condition

The deep joy of writing prisoners and what I have learned Loneliness is a form of invisibility that only heals when one is truly seen, to the depths, deeper than one is aware of, and yet……loved.—Br.Md I have mentioned before how I got involved with writing prisoners, well, by accident.  A much as I love to write, I have never before I started writing prisoners really wrote letters at all.  It simply started one day when a monk asked me if I would like to write a convict, about four years

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Taking our faith for granted

Taking our faith for granted   The emptiness of My churches apart from the hours of the liturgical offices is an indictment, first of all, of My priests, and then, of My faithful. My Eucharistic presence meets with coldness, with indifference, and with a chilling ingratitude, even on the part of My priests and of consecrated souls. They fail to recognize in the mystery of the Most Holy Eucharist the pearl of great price, the treasure once hidden in the field but now offer

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Which Cross will you carry?

Which Cross will you carry?   “The life of a Christian is nothing but a perpetual struggle against self; there is no flowering of the soul to the beauty of its perfection except at the price of pain” ― Padre Pio   People often balk when they read comments like the above; or when Jesus talks about dying to self and taking up one's cross in order to follow him in life.  What is often forgotten is that anything we give our hearts and mind to, demands the same thing.  People give up everyt

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Faith, Trust and A friend's powerful story

A Friend's Story, on how She learned that She is Never Alone The exercise of faith increases faith. The exercise of confidence causes confidence to grow. One who approaches My tabernacle in faith is giving evidence of a complete reliance on My merciful love. The Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar is My Heart, open to receive those who will respond to My timeless invitation: “Come unto Me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me, becau

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The tragedy and beauty of our lives

The tragedy and beauty of our lives Such a difference in those I meet Lord, some tall, others skinny, and short and fat, with burdens hidden from others, and deep wounds that not seen, yet bleed, it is a wonder that we even begin a new day, up in the morning doing the same routine, over, and over, and over again.  Fatigue and lack of sleep, too much noise, and frantic movement, loud music, and horns, sirens, and planes, TV and Radio, news promoting fear and Lord, how it works……so much fea

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Prodigal son

Prodigal son (The world our heart dwells in) So the “Prodigal son” is by himself, alone, bereft of friends, hungry and literally living in a pig-sty.  Who knows how long he has been away from his family and probably never thought about them, or when he did, it was perhaps in mockery and disdain.  Being thoughtless, he used his money to buy friends and indulged in pleasures that would keep him from thinking any deeper than where the next party or pleasure will come from.  It most likely was

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“Where your treasure is there also will your

“Where your treasure is there also will your heart be” People in general, unless they have some sort of personality disorder, give the impression of wanting to be more truly human.  We admire those who display compassion and empathy, especially when it is directed towards us and we enjoy being around them.  We ponder concepts like ‘justice’ and ‘mercy’, though they are not easily achieved.  Injustice and the seeking of revenge appear to be the stronger force, but that is because when acte

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What we long for, we also fear

What we long for, we also fear I live in the Sacrament of My love as I live in heaven, in a ceaseless state of intercession for all who believe in Me and come to Me with the weight of life’s burdens and sorrows. There is nothing that I will not do for the soul who approaches Me with confidence. A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart-- The Journal of a Priest at Prayer (Kindle Locations 3959-3961). Angelico Press. Kindle Edition. In a truly loving relationship, b

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Being conned, what to do?

Being conned, what to do? October 4—“Above all, confidence! When you have an anxiety and you can do nothing about it, just think, ‘He will straighten that out for me’—and go back into the peace within Me.”   Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 630-632). Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition.     I received a letter from one of the prisoners that I am corresponding with.  I will call him Jason.  He is 55 years old, and in jail for three different felonies.  Parole violatio

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markdohle

 

When life feels cold and dark

When life feels cold and dark and I am naked and shivering within (When I am afraid, I put my trust in you)---Psalm Sometimes I feel fear.  It is when I become strongly aware of the suffering that goes on around me.  On how common it is to have sick friends, people I love who are dying and my own aging as well.  It is as if everything I tell myself about my faith and hope drops away and I am left shivering in a cold dark place.  I do not like it ‘here’, but I also know that it is just like e

markdohle

markdohle

 

When life feels cold and dark

When life feels cold and dark and I am naked and shivering within (When I am afraid, I put my trust in you)---Psalm 56:3 Sometimes I feel fear.  It is when I become strongly aware of the suffering that goes on around me.  On how common it is to have sick friends, people I love who are dying and my own aging as well.  It is as if everything I tell myself about my faith and hope drops away and I am left shivering in a cold dark place.  I do not like it ‘here’, but I also know that it is just li

markdohle

markdohle

 

Grace, is in reality, God-seeking each of us

Grace, is in reality, God-seeking each of us in our lives   I remain unknown. I am left alone. Even those who claim to profess the mystery of My real presence in the Sacrament of the Altar forsake Me. I am treated with a terrible indifference, with coldness, and with a lack of respect that causes the angels to weep because they cannot offer Me reparation for the coldness and indifference of human hearts.1 Only men can make reparation for men.2 What is lacking is the loving response of a huma

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