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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

Pray in trust

Pray in trust Pray using My Mother’s Rosary, even when you feel that your prayer is empty or mechanical, or when you are beset by distractions. The decision to pray pleases My Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of My Mother. A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart--The Journal of a Priest at Prayer Discipline is needed for any endeavor that is given priority in one’s life.  For people of all faiths or those who are seeking, for many of them, prayer and medita

markdohle

markdohle

 

An expanding awareness of interconnectedness

An expanding awareness of interconnectedness “Beginning today I entrust you with a particular grace of intercession for the souls I will send to you. You will intercede also for all those whom I shall make you see in your prayer. Pray, pray with confidence and boldness, and I shall answer you each time.” ―  In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart--The Journal of a Priest at Prayer   It is easy to forget as Christians, the need to strengthen our connection with our brothers and sisters. 

markdohle

markdohle

 

You will become both Light, and Fire

You will become both Light, and Fire When you come to adoration, hold yourself before My Eucharistic Face like a mirror before the sun.  Thus will you capture the radiance, of my Countenance and the fire that blazes in My Heart; thus will you become both light and fire for souls plunged into darkness and hearts grown cold.  --In Sinu Jesu (When Heart Speaks to Heart).  No matter what religion one follows, or what spiritual path traveled upon, if it is not done in a mindful manner, it c

markdohle

markdohle

 

A beautiful, drizzly, morning

A beautiful, drizzly, morning (My first sighting of our box turtle) After Lauds, and Mass, I was on my way to our refectory, to do one of my duties, morning dishes.  It was for me a beautiful morning.  It was cloudy and rainy.  When the sky is overcast it brings out the green in our grass, bushes, and trees.  For me, it almost becomes a dark jade green color.  It brings me peace to see rainy weather, and I guess, I love it more than sunshine.  As I was walking towards the refectory, I noticed

markdohle

markdohle

 

Anticipation and joy

Anticipation and joy   When I was in boot camp in 1967, (I was in the Navy for four years)…I felt locked up there, and when I looked out at the people driving along the freeway, I thought how wonderful their lives must be, how free and in my mind’s eye, how easy.  It was because I was in a very stressful place.  I was 18 and it was the first time I was away from family.  I did my boot camp in San Diego.  It got better after a few weeks, but I never lost that moment of looking out at all the

markdohle

markdohle

 

The estranged couple

The estranged couple They sat stiffly close together yet so far apart no warmth nor light, looking to the left and right, or with a nervous movement seeking a comfortable place to simply sit, trapped next to each other. The longing there to be seen and heard, yet each only wanted to speak seeking understanding, yet for themselves only, each in too much pain to present to the other. Both a victim of the other, blame screaming with each movement, each recoiling from the others con

markdohle

markdohle

 

A man’s journey towards healing and sobriety

A man’s journey towards healing and sobriety ✝ Whoever does not meditate, is like someone who never looks in the mirror before going out, doesn't bother to see if he's tidy, and may go out dirty without knowing it. The person who meditates and turns his mind to God, who is the mirror of his soul, seeks to know his faults, tries to correct them, moderates his impulses, and puts his conscience in order.—Padre Pio I was talking to one of our retreatants about the importance of self-know

markdohle

markdohle

 

Memories of Panama, Midway Island

Memories of Panama, Midway Island, and homesickness and nostalgia Memories are very interesting, giving both pleasure and pain. The pleasant ones, those based on our past can bring out a sweet melancholy that for me can’t quite be pinpointed. Thoughts and pictures from the past that can be wiped clean, leaving only what was good, fun and actually healing on many levels. This experience of melancholy I believe, at least for me, is the sadness of seeing my past getting longer than my future. A

markdohle

markdohle

 

We can all be channels of God’s love as revea

We can all be channels of God’s love as revealed in Christ Jesus. “Never think that your imperfections and failures are, in any way, an impediment to the work of My merciful love in your soul. You have only to give them to Me with confidence  and they are consumed in the blaze of My Heart’s love for you. When I ask certain things of you,  it is not to burden you, but to offer you a sure way of obtaining the support of My grace.”  In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart --The Journal

markdohle

markdohle

 

We can entrust ourselves to God’s love at any

We can entrust ourselves to God’s love at any time “So many souls make little or no progress in the holiness that I desire for them because they do not trust in My grace. They attempt to change themselves by making use of purely human means and forget that I am all-powerful, all-merciful, and ready at every moment to heal and sanctify those who entrust themselves, with their weaknesses and sins, to My most loving Heart. I do not ask for perfection from those whom I have chosen to be My friends

markdohle

markdohle

 

Live simply in This-Day

Not Pie in the Sky but to live simply in This-Day “…Every pain has its end and then life in freedom begins…where everything is returned …Pray for the strength of faith: trust in the love of the Heavenly Father…Faith makes you live according to what is good and then the light of God’s love always comes at the desired moment”--(Our Lady of Medjugorje 2 April 2018) I know many people who have very hard lives. Health issues, family, and money problems. The list for some, can go on, and on. Then

markdohle

markdohle

 

Self-Absorption

Self-Absorption Do not give in to feelings of discouragement.  This causes you to focus even more on yourself and on your limitations.  Rather, look to Me.  Seek My Face and rely on the faithful love of My Heart for you….What I ask of you is to trust in my merciful love. In Sinu Jesu Pg. 79 (7/24/08)   Failure is a constant in my life as a Christian.  In Proverbs, it says that the just man will fall seven times a day and rise again (Proverbs 24:16).  That is not a small number.  This appl

markdohle

markdohle

 

When Heart Speaks to Heart

In Sinu Jesu (When Heart Speaks to Heart) Angelico Press In Christianity, the central core is the revelation that ‘The Infinite’, the ‘Wholly Other’; ‘That which cannot be named’; is revealed to us as a deeply personal loving God, In Jesus Christ.  Many prefer Deism, an impersonal force who made the Universe, then left it alone.  A relationship does not enter into the equation, nor any concept of love, obedience and humble service to the creator. Christians often forget the depth of God

markdohle

markdohle

 

Peace Prayer of Saint Francis Part 2

Peace Prayer of Saint Francis Part 2 2nd talk So the second part of the Prayer of St. Francis is the fruit of working through the first part.  The necessity of self-knowledge and an ever-deepening trust in God’s mercy.  This allows us to listen so that we truly become instruments of peace in God’s hands.  O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive

markdohle

markdohle

 

Peace Prayer of Saint Francis Part 1

Peace Prayer of Saint Francis Part 1 Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: The human experience for everyone is a rough journey.  We can often hide from others what is going on inside of us; we can smile when in reality there is a war going on within.  We experience injustice, injury, doubt and yes despair.  We can also go through periods where we are filled with darkness and sadness.  In some instances, these inner variations can be a mystery to us.  So how can we be instruments

markdohle

markdohle

 

Ann Sullivan, RIP

Ann Sullivan, RIP I first met Ann Sullivan, in 1995, and hired her to work in our kitchen.  My first impression of her was mixed.  She gave off the impression of a woman who had been through a lot and had some rough edges.  Yet at the same time, she had a good sense of humor and had a streak of stubbornness, that I liked.  She worked in our kitchen and was a good worker and for the most part got along well with the others who work there as well. One day her humor came out.  I walked in to se

markdohle

markdohle

 

Mercy Sunday

Mercy Sunday (We are all held in the palm of God’s hand) 1488:  (You see, my child, what you are of yourself.  The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on me.  But let this not sadden you so much.  You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust.  Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons.). (Diary of Sister Faustina, conversations with souls 1485-1489)   How deep is our capacity to receive me

markdohle

markdohle

 

A gentlewoman named Pam, her inner discovery

A gentlewoman named Pam, her inner discovery One of the perks of being retreat/guest master is that I get to meet so many wonderful, diverse, people.  One of these retreatants is a woman named Pam.  She is a very down to earth woman, who has a mature faith and has more than enough wisdom to share with others.  She is also deeply involved with helping those who are poor and on the fringe of society.  She is a little younger than me, but when she smiles, or laughs, she seems very young ind

markdohle

markdohle

 

A sweet lady who lives out of her car

A sweet lady who lives out of her car On Monday morning, one of the monks came to notify me that last night he was approached by an older woman in our church.  She wanted to know if it was OK to sleep in her car, in our parking lot.  We do get a request like that a few times a year from people who simply want to stay in their car.  It is not something we like to give permission for because of legal considerations.   However, at times it does happen.  When I returned from my trip with

markdohle

markdohle

 

Another day at the VA with my brother

Another day at the VA with my brother (a talk with the coffee lady) Last week we left at 7 AM for the VA.  It took us almost two hours to get there, over an hour just to go 18 miles to the Interstate.  So this time we left at 6:30 and made it in 45 minutes.  I guess the wave of cars would start about 20 minutes later.  We were car surfing.  We did the regular routine.  Checked in at the Surgical Clinic on the first floor.  When David went in for his blood pressure check I went over t

markdohle

markdohle

 

Easter Vigil Mass 2018

Easter Vigil Mass 2018 We have our Easter Vigil service at 4:30 AM.  When I got up and went outside, I was pleased to see a clear sky and of course a full moon.  My brother was there and said hi to me when I opened the door.  So we sat together for a few minutes.  I am thankful my brother his here, he is a gentle soul for the most part and gets along well with the guest and staff.  Our monastic community has its Easter Vigil inside the enclosure (Monastery proper).  We have a beautiful en

markdohle

markdohle

 

Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday Carved into rock the tomb stood waiting, the body wrapped in linen tight with spices; according to Jewish law. A stone rolled before the entrance, within only darkness, silence, that only death can bring, the interior cold the body alone in its inner nothingness The void, the thing feared most, to drop in never to be seen again, gone, leaving only an interior emptiness for those left behind. In the beginning light, heat death for the

markdohle

markdohle

 

Nothingness/Void/Death (Good Friday 2018)

Nothingness/Void/Death (Good Friday 2018) I got up at my usual time this morning, made coffee, filled a cup and went outside to drink it.  The moon at this time is almost full, beautiful glow from its gentle light as well as a gentle breeze.  There is nothing that is for me more beautiful than a morning such as the one we had today. After my coffee, I went into the Church and as always on Good Friday, it is always a shock to enter without the Blessed Sacrament not being present.  J

markdohle

markdohle

 

Self-Emptying Holy Thursday 2018

Self-Emptying Holy Thursday 2018 Today, Holy Thursday, the Abbot washed the feet of all the members of the community after we had our Seder-Meal.  It is a powerful act and one that presents a way of service for all, not only for those who are leaders but also to the least of us.  We are all called to serve one another, to empty ourselves in the giving of ourselves.  Jesus, in washing the feet of his disciples points to the reality of what Agape (Divine Love) means for us.  Jesus sho

markdohle

markdohle

 

An old woman, a sign of grace

An old woman at the VA who was a sign of grace for others Walking down the hallways in the VA on a crowded day can be very interesting.  Like any crowd, there are lots of people, each dressed differently, some knowing where they are going, others confused and too proud to ask for directions.  Others aren’t shy about seeking information on how to get to some place or another.  There was a couple, perhaps in their 50’s trying to figure which direction to go in.  Each war arguing with each o

markdohle

markdohle