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talking to myself

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About this blog

personal stuff

Entries in this blog

 

What the soul seeks

What the soul seeks (stream of consciousness) A soul in pain seeks diversion. Or if tired, perhaps to find some rest, but where? Root-less-ness, a feeling of not belonging, can be a source of deep inner alienation, leading to isolation. Form; that which has boundaries, is not what the soul needs, at least on the level of inner thirst and unease; a place only felt but not often seen. What are we rooted in? Our self-awareness, our sense of self, our longings, the human ability to cre

markdohle

markdohle

 

What the soul desires

What the soul desires God is love, so the soul desires a return, seeking the union in ways often self defeating, desiring warmth and escape from loneliness as an end in itself, not understanding that love, true love deepens our sense of otherness, knowing that all that we see around us is limited and cannot filll a heart made for the infinite ocean of love. When rejected this truth, then we take love, use others, make them objects and then when they disappoint us which they will

markdohle

markdohle

 

What the NDE may have to offer us

What the NDE may have to offer us (It all about perspective and yes faith as well)   My faith will dictate to me my perspective towards the world, its meaning and my place in it. As a Catholic that perspective will hone it down to a finer point. Then I am a monk, so that will further narrow down how I interrupt the world. I do believe that is true for all of us, even if what we actually believe is not thought through in a systematic way. Yet how we live

markdohle

markdohle

 

What the Dark Night is not

What the Dark Night is not The retreat that Martha gave this weekend was probably her best one yet. “When God seems distant” was the theme and I would guess most people on a path seeking God will find themselves in the place in time. Some seem stuck there, but are they? Mother Teresa was in ‘the dark night’ for years, yet she continued her path towards union with God. St. John of the Cross stated that the closer God gets, can sometimes be experienced as an interior darkness. This is b

markdohle

markdohle

 

What self love is not

What self love is not One day as I was speaking to one of our guest, he wondered how he was supposed to love himself when he is so aware of his past, what is in his heart now and what he is capable of doing. Well I said “self knowledge has its price. Too actually to be able to see yourself in a truthful light takes a type of self love. Also having the strength of ego that many lack; as well as being in touch with your soul and what gives life and breathe to your spirit”, even if uncon

markdohle

markdohle

 

What seems foolish

What seems foolish Contempt, hatred, anger, revenge and at times depression, in the end are ways to shield us from seeing and experiencing the pain of others. We can objectify others and also ourselves. ‘Things’, are not important, but “Thou’s’ are. When barriers are dropped then the inner wonder of those around us is seen, embraced and life accepted, on terms that perhaps seem foolish before it is actually lived out.

markdohle

markdohle

 

What rules our lives?

What rules our lives We all have a path, a central struggle that allows other areas of our lives to either blossom and grow, or whither and die. I am speaking from experience here, well actually, everything I write is from my own inner journey, failures and successes. I always find myself in trouble when I allow my own inner reactions, or if you like, emotional responses to exert some kind of authority over me. Emotions, the ones that are most felt and dealt with on a daily basis, have d

markdohle

markdohle

 

What retreatants have taught me

What retreatants have taught me about childlike faith Psalm 116:6-9 6 The LORD protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me.7 Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me.8 He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.9 And so I walk in the LORD’s presence as I live here on earth! ++++++++++ I have written many times how humbling it is to talk with our retreatants as they share many of their struggles with me.

markdohle

markdohle

 

What pro-lifers know about abortion (seeing life from both sides)

What pro-lifers know about abortion (Seeing life from both sides) This is known by pro-lifers. That many women who get abortion are often under tremendous stress to undergo this procedure. Their families, their friends, lovers and society in general encourages that they ‘get on with their life’ and just do it. Pro-lifers also know that many women are then left alone to deal with the aftermath of the procedure, where they end the life in their womb. Where these women come to under

markdohle

markdohle

What plants teach me

What plants teach me

What plants teach me   I am not much for forest, or lots of scenery, but find rest in the plants that I have in my room. Simple plants, easy to take care of, but to me so beautiful, rooted in the moment, seemingly always at rest.   Some plants I have had for many years, they just grow, get deeper roots, and I change the water from time to time, and fee . I believe my soul is a little like that always at rest, watching, my roots growing deeper with each passing day, and God's grace waterin

markdohle

markdohle

 

What others believe

I have learned however not too really ‘care’ what others believe. I have found that saves me a great deal of trouble, for there are many who seem to think that the thoughts and beliefs of others can be changed, which in my experience does not happen. No matter how good the augment seems, or how loud one shouts, it does no good. Now seeds can be planted, but they have to be cultivated, which means that one has to choose to give a certain amount of authority of other ways of thinking, which inc

markdohle

markdohle

 

What or who we truly are is not yet known

What or who we truly are is not yet known I agree that being a loving person is something humans are not.  Yet we strive to become loving and in that we call upon the Lord for grace and healing.  Self knowledge allows us to see our need and woundedness without despairing, or having our ego shattered.  Jesus as the Word has loved us into existence and will bring what he has started in our hearts to fruition.  What or who we truly are is not yet known or understood, yet it is the Lord who kno

markdohle

markdohle

 

What makes us beautiful?

What makes us all, beautiful? When chains fall and freedom felt; when the soul breathes freely it is then we experience home, even if only for a time. The falling and rising, the humility that flows from that, makes us all beautiful, allowing bitterness and self hatred to fall away into that inner ocean without depth or boundaries. Perhaps the most fearful thing about the infinite, that which perhaps is fought the most, is that it is personal, loving, beyond all telling

markdohle

markdohle

 

What makes some lose faith

What makes some to lose faith Songs that touch the soul, birds that sing and draw us out, flowers that bring to mind another world, pets that allow us to love without fear, children that brings smiles on a dark day, meals with friends that listen and accept us, wine to make talk easier, full moons, rainy and sunny days, good health, friends and yes their love who are there when health fails, so many things to be thankful for, the good things are often over looked, it is the pain

markdohle

markdohle

 

What makes a place holy?

What makes a place holy? People go to Monasteries for many reasons. Many are tourist and have their own personal reactions to what they see. For some it is a curiosity, sort of like going to Stone Mountain, or some other site of interest, with each visitor having their own unique take on what they allow in. Some people find Monasteries creepy and monks’ just men who are running away from life. Others just like the feel of the place. Some come seeking, and others come to reconnect with

markdohle

markdohle

 

What makes a place holy?

What makes a place holy? People go to Monasteries for many reasons. Many are tourist and have their own personal reactions to what they see. For some it is a curiosity, sort of like going to Stone Mountain, or some other site of interest, with each visitor having their own unique take on what they take in. Some people find Monasteries creepy and monks’ just men who are running away from life. Others just like the feel of the place. Some come seeking, and others come to reconnect with wha

markdohle

markdohle

 

What lies beneath

What lies beneath March 20—Holy Hour. “You are worried about the passage from this life to the next? But since it is the greatest proof of love that you can give Me, be glad. Offer your death to Me now with complete detachment, ready even for heroism. Say, ‘Even if I didn’t have to suffer death, I would choose it in order to be more one with Him.’ And in this way you will give Me the greatest glory a creature can give his Creator. Oh, precious death of the saints that echoes even in the heaven

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is trust?

What is trust? In the English language the words ‘trust’ and ‘love’ are used in so many contexts that their meaning can be lost. For instance: “I love ice cream” is an expression about extreme liking of a ‘treat’. Then there is “I love my dog’, or ‘I love my wife”. Then there is ‘I love God’, or ‘God is love’. So ‘I love God’ and ‘I love ice cream’, do they mean the same thing? The same is for trust. A salesman comes up and says: ‘trust me I am honest’. Or ‘I have trust in the gov

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is truly sought

What is truly sought The human heart longs for one thing only, Seeks that which will quench its inner thirst, Often taking paths leading nowhere Or perhaps destructive in their fruits, In the search for what it truly desires, If often misunderstood. Our songs tell of its agony and ecstasy, The pain deep that it brings, Also joys beyond bearing, Asking nothing less than everything. Parents know of this jewel, Also know the pain that it brings, The child more treasured th

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is the thirst?

What is the thirst? After wholeness, fragmentation comes, the falling apart of well made plans for ones life. Rigid systems of self improvement, shattered in a moment, when past routes are retaken and once again there are only ruins to be seen, or felt, even if it is only experienced by the one who failed. It is then we are called anew, to step forward in faith, to pray to that reality that is beyond our comprehension, personal and loving. The harder it is to believe, the deeper the trus

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is the present moment?

What is the present moment? Live, then, in the present moment. Choose to be faithful to Me in the little things that I give you and ask of you from minute to minute, from hour to hour, and from day to day.3 It is foolish to pin your hopes and to spend your energy on an imaginary good, when the real good that I offer you is here and now. A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart-- The Journal of a Priest at Prayer  (Kindle Locations 3220-3223). Angelico Press. Kindle E

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is solid and secure

What is solid and secure My line of work will not let me forget, that the center that we stand on, that feels so real, is made of sand that allows all to sink into, each moment becomes a memory, racing towards a seeming infinite past, our moments gone before we actually can experience them, micro seconds at the speed of light making all seem like the past. Dream like our years fly by, though real they are, our life filled with meaning making each tiny free choice important, as we m

markdohle

markdohle

What is real, and most important in our lives

What is real, and most important in our lives

What is real, and most important in our lives?   January 13—Le Fresne church. I said, “Truth, I adore You.” “Yes, I am Truth. Sin is falsehood, error, darkness. “Every form of goodness is truth: the desire for good, work for justice . . . You will see later that only one thing matters and that is truth, for God alone matters. Attach no importance whatsoever to anything apart from Me, however pleasing it may be. Happiness is found in Me alone. “When I created man I placed deep within him a s

markdohle

markdohle

 

What is practice?

What is practice? In seeking to live deeply ones spiritual path it is best to keep it as uncomplicated as possible. Have a practice that is simple to do, because effort is needed in keeping one foot in front of the other. Not to think of two steps forward or obsess on what happened two steps back, but to simply start where one is at. In chaos, or pain, in failure, or joy, or success, it is the same. All we can do is to start from where we stand, and taking the next step. Grace works th

markdohle

markdohle