King Mudboots

Entry posted by Guest · March 24, 2005

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i just realized something. UM has its kings: theres a king of posting, a king of sarcasm, a king of arguing, a king of debating, a king of topic-making, even a king (or queen) of smilies, and of course a king of moderators. but i......i am not the king, or prince, or master, or even poster child of anything. there is nothing i can be called a king at, nothing i excel in, nothing i do here particularly well, and, actually, nothing to get noticed for. im just this kid that hangs around.

well, no more. yes, i, Mudboots, am going to be the king of something on UM at last. I am going to appoint myself (in proper tyrant fashion) the

Official King of the Unexplained Mysteries Toilet Brushes.

now, in proper tyrant fashion, i am placing the crown on my own head, and handing the scepter to myself, and helping myself onto the throne. In proper tyrant fashion, am now making a grotesquely arrogant speech of acceptance, which i am not bothering to stand for, and clapping for myself. Im even refusing to stand and acknowledge the assembly's thunderous applause, which is surely only given because of fear of the Guillotine (which, i might warn you, i intend to make full use of). but i really dont care. standing applause for me is standing applause for me; who else would it be for?

Now, as my first act as the Official King of the Unexplained Mysteries Toilet Brushes , im going to have twelve thousand pretty city punks executed, simply because i like the number twelve and they bother me. now, you are dismissed, but only after you bow......no, wait, bowing is not good enough. you must genuflect. so, genuflect and leave.