Enveloped
Entry posted by markdohle
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Enveloped
I was late last night in going in to see William. Just before I left, I went in to see how things were going on the floor, and discovered that Bob was having trouble breathing. He was not quite gasping, but was having difficulty. Got the pulse ox and took a reading, his oxygen level was only 82, and had to be dealt with right away. We always have extra Concentrators for just such and eventuality. So we hooked it up, and soon Bob readings were much better; up to 95. So I put him on three liters and left, asking the PCT to please check in about 20 minutes and perhaps put the flow down to two liters, if the readings were high. As soon as he got comfortable he fell asleep. Last week he fell out of bed and broke his wrist, this is keeping him in bed, which is going to make him weaker, and also could lead to respiratory problems, well in fact already had. The nurse is going to order a Geriatric chair for him today. That way we can sit him up and when he gets tired, or his blood pressure drops, all we have to do is change the position of the chair.
So got a late start, but since it is a Sunday night, the traffic was not very heavy and I made good time. I arrived, and some of the same people were still there, so I said hi to the few that I knew, and William and I went into his room to talk, and I could read some scripture to him and give him the Eucharist. We talked about little things, his day, how the food was, his sleep the night before etc. Then about his family and when that ended I asked if he wanted me to read some scripture. I have a New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs, which I take on my visits with him. He loves to be read to, especially from the Bible. So I read from 1st Peter, and then from Romans 8, a chapter he seems to love, especially the very last of it. Then we prayed the Our Father, and I prayed for William and for those who were in the hospital with him. All the while his head was bowed.
I gave William the Eucharist and sat back allowing him to make his thanksgiving. As I was watching him, he seemed to be enveloped in a deep penetrating silence, he was motionless, a still point, and the silence reached out and enveloped me. It seemed to encase the whole area, for suddenly, all noise from the hallway ceased and total silence seemed to reach every nook corner of the ward. It was a healing silence, quiet, personal, loving, all encompassing, as if William were the channel from which it flowed. After a few minutes he stirred and again the noise started up from the hallway.
I don’t know why God is allowing me to be touched in such a deep way with William, but I am thankful for the experience. He is truly a special man, something perhaps lost by those who live with him day after day. Our limitations seem to be the focal point of people’s attention, instead of that which is deeper. Understandable of course, I often do the same thing.
It seems that the caregiver and the care receiver, both minister to each other in ways often unforeseen. I often think that I care for others because it makes me alive, I feel that we are made to care for one another, to reach out and touch those in need. While those in need, by allowing themselves to be cared for, are also bestowing a gift, perhaps the greater one on those actively ministering to them.
The beauty and depth I see in William is perhaps a small glimpse of how God sees us all. Perhaps it is a grace I need because of my weakness, to once in awhile to be able to see the profound beauty in the other, and by that to understand that we are all that way. We each have profound depths, it is just that it is often locked away, needing perhaps to be coached out by others, and if not, it does not matter, it is still there.
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