Time seems to be speeding up for me; faster and faster, each year. I know this is a common perception; still at times it is disconcerting. True some days can seem to drag, yet when the month is done, it all seems a blur to me. Sort of like a NASCAR race, the cars going round and round, the miles piling up, racing towards the finish line.

My dad’s generation is dying off fast, only three left from his family; three out of eight brothers and sisters remain. One died just last week, he was 84 years old. In a few short years they to will be gone, as if they never were. I look at old photos, well not that old, 12 years maybe, and most in the photos are now gone. Their laughter and smiles fading, though they still have the power to haunt me, probably with less intensity as the years fly by.

Death; some days I am at peace about it, on others, my heart feels like it is gripped by a hard icy cold hand, sucking all color and warmth from my life. Most of the time however it is thought about in the abstract, which puts it at a safe distance, something to be studied, not really real, or perhaps so far in the future that it does not affect me; yes I lie to myself a lot about this. One can think about the death of others, because being an observer to the event is what really happens, at another’s death. However it is not possible to observe ones own death, it is experienced.

Christ Jesus is the exception, for he did experience my coming death. The suffering that will come with it, the fear, perhaps the fighting of despair, so common in many deaths, and not only mine, but Jesus knows all of our deaths. His dying shows us the death of each, it is our soul we observe when looking upon his suffering, death, and victory. We are each enfolded in the eternal, ever new moment of God. In this is our hope and joy even in times of deep pain, suffering and darkness. For after all what can separate us from the love of God?