Ever question yourself? Question yourself, your heart, your motives.
I do....always question others, never trusting, not matter how close they are, or how much they trust or love me. Many may see this as a fault, but I regard my introverted apathy and loathing as a gift. Stay distant to them, stay close to yourself.
Creativity comes easy this way...abstract thoughts. Songs flow from me it seems........not usually, but when they do, I'm shocked at how fast they come. This self-loathing, external apathy is quite odd, enableing me to tthink about all angles, all views of things.
This is part of what sets me apart from this town, this vile, dreadfull town. Full of hicks, no bodies. Not a clue of the outside world. Recently, I learned that one of my friends, whom I thoguht was .....welll, of moderate intellegence at least.....thought India was in the Middle East. This, of course, was amusing to me to no end, instantly discrediting any preconcieved notions I had of him. Anyway, the point is, I think that this town is part of the reason for much of my loathing.
I think I should get checked out by a doctor or something.....is all of this healthy? Bah, to hell with that. I feel fine, impowered by this.
Most tough, I question my heart, my soul...doesn;t everyone? I question my beliefs, my place in the world.....the one I am with.
I don't know.