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talking to myself

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Divine mercy

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markdohle

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Divine mercy

the infinite,

also the eternal,

without beginning or end;

how can such a thing be grasped?

when thinking of divine mercy,

we can recreate God,

again,

with serious consequences

in our own image.

God is like us just much better,

a projection of our best selves onto divinity,

if true then we are all in trouble,

which is what many feel when thinking about God.

the people hid in caves

saying let the mountains fall upon us,

in their desire to hide from eternal light and mercy,

as if it were possible to hide,

from what is both transcendent and immanent,

as Julian of Norwich has said.

“God is closer to us than our skin, bones, and morrow. ‘

we are the problem,

our attitudes,

wounds,

compulsions and sins,

we all have them in one form or another

often seeking to hide from sight,

pretending everything is all right,

I am fine we say when asked,

though in truth things may be the opposite,

afraid of condemnation, rejection, being despised,

we simply lie,

thinking uniqueness is some how ours in our weakness,

others better,

more deserving,

when in fact all are sinners,

fail,

deal with despair,

which in fact is the central struggle,

not to believe the nonsense we can tell ourselves

when not on the path,

when our weakness stares us in the face

mocking,

jeering at our efforts,

say in chorus

“why bother”,

all lies, the truth is mercy pursues us all

to seek to hide from mercy is absurd,

for the greater our need,

even if we run and seek to hide,

calling down the mountains upon us

it is then that mercy draws near,

then God touches us,

perhaps in ways that are not gentle

or in ways that we would not prefer,

loving parents

will do anything for their children

in ways not often understood,

perhaps seeming cruel from the child’s perspective,

divine mercy is deeper

more intense

passionate

Infinite, scary at times.

to what lengths will divine mercy go

is God’s wrath the experience of seeking to hide,

the pursuit unending?

the fire of God’s love,

the bright flames of the Holy Spirit,

the fire of purgatory,

and yes the fires of hell,

the same fire,

it is the relationship that dictates the experience.

so why run from what cannot be escaped,

why flee from intimate union

allowing our sins and failures to keep us from mercy,

moments of truth,

all pretense taken away for perhaps a short time

allowing truth to shine in our hearts.

we see darkly into our murky depths,

most hidden below the waters,

perhaps a mercy,

for to see all that is within,

could lead perhaps to demonic pride,

for we all have much beauty,

or the deepest spiritual depression,

we need self knowledge in small doses.

for God we are transparent,

all is known no matter how deep we seek to hide,

or how strong our denial.

an illusion running,

hiding,

afraid to simply be with,

our senses of despair is our struggle

a lie,

we tell ourselves,

allowing emotions to rule and drive us

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