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Falco's Forum Romanum

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The Case 6: Motorcycle Modness..

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So why could I see this guy so easily?

The tree he was trying to hide behind had a glass case directly behind it. His reflection was clear as day..

He was a teenager closer to twelve than twenty..He had long black hair; a long black trench-coat and long black pants and boots probably..He had one hand reached under that coat; grasping something as he waited for me to pass..

Another hit-squad goon, sent by my unknown adversary?

If so, they were picking them a little young nowadays. I'd soon shake him down and get some answers though..


Did you think I was going to follow some elaborate trail of clues and evidence; each one a puzzle piece that fit neatly together until this was solved?

Sorry Junior. That's not how cases are solved in real life..Save it for CSI:Miami and Agatha Christie stories..

Ask any cop. 90% of cases are solved simply because someone ratted somebody else out..

I was hoping I'd just found my rat..

I kept my eyes on the case as I passed his spot..The moment I saw him tense, I made my move. Lightning fast I turned and struck out, punching him in the solar plexus..

He gasped with the sudden loss of breath and dropped what he'd been about to take out of his coat..

Somehow, it was a full sized persian carpet, neatly rolled..

While I stood dumbly digesting this fact, he recovered from the hit I gave him and reached under his coat again. This time he produced a very small motorcycle from its depths..He jumped on it; kickstarted and was off through the trees like shot..

I almost laughed at the futility of it..I began to run after him..

I may not look like much, but thanks to Camp Pendleton I could still run all day uphill carrying a hundred pound pack..He had to guide a tiny motorbike around trees and over roots..He was doomed..

Within two minutes I caught him..

Grabbing his jackets' collar I yanked him straight off the bike and slammed him to the ground..The bike continued on it's own before crashing into a tree and catching fire...The tree too, began to burn..


I thought that only happened on television..

I turned my attention back to my intended victim keeping him firmly pinned to the ground with one arm..

"Hello Rat!" I said happily"First you're going to tell me who you are and why you're following me with broadlooms in your hand; and then you're going to tell me anything else I care to know."

"I don't have to tell you anything you dink!" He shot back. "You wrecked my bike!"

"Really now?" I said standing him up and slamming him against a tree"Would you care to reconsider?"

Stony silence was all I got..Tough meat needs tenderizing, I guess..

I shook him back and forth in the air until I thought he looked like he just wanted to give up and die now..

"Well?" I said" I can do this all day if I have to."

"Walken" he muttered sullenly"My names' Walken."

"And?" "Why were trying to attack me with a rug?"

You're a Noob!" He answered, as if I should already know. "I like to roll Noobs in carpets and throw them off bridges! I was just having fun!"

Well that's normal. Was everyone here completely nuts?

"So Walken" I said conversationally "you wouldn't be working for these Mods I've heard about; would you?"

"Hah!" Me work for the Mods!! Those spoilsports? They always ruin my fun too! Walken is a free agent of surrealism!"

I think somehow I believed him. No sinister force would use such a random and strange young man as an agent of death..But I still needed a guide..

Nevertheless, young Walken; I need a person who knows this forum inside and out to work with me. Having p***ed me off; I'm electing you. Now take me to these Mods."

"I'm not guiding you anywhere. I need to go back to my Not-box and build a new bike. Besides which, I don't work for jerks who beat me up.."

I was about to continue to do just that when he said.."You should find Snuffypuffer. He knows everything about everything around here; he could help you more than me. "

Having a guy who I just whipped as a guide probably wasn't the best idea. It would probably turn out dangerous in the long run. This Snuffypuffer sounded like the guy I needed to talk to..

"If you can tell me where to find this Snuffypuffer" I offered" I may just let your throat go long enough for you to breathe correctly.."

"He's usually in General Off-Topic. Start by looking there" Said Walken..

I guess that was enough on him for one day..I slowly released him and let him stand on his own..

Gathering what dignity he still possesed he brushed himself off and squared his shoulders..

Then he looked at me with a devilish grin..

"Do you still want to talk to the Mods?" He asked slyly "Because I can get them here."

"How's that, I asked?

"Like this!"

"****!!" He yelled at the top of his lungs..

A cloud seemed to pass over the sun..

"S***!!! He yelled again..

The sun was completely overcast now..A strange warm wind began to blow..

Walken went on and on with an endless stream of profanity..

The warm wind turned hot..The forest went eerily quiet. The only strong light now came from the burning tree, the ground started trembling under my feet..

"Well, that should do it!" proclaimed Walken "You have fun now!!"

He gave me a cheery wave and ran full tilt for the exit to crypto..

Suddenly, lightning struck all around me..A giant clap of thunder split the air..

The Mods had arrived...

End of Part 6

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Ahh!!! I LOVE IT!!

Your right on in your characters.. hahaha. And you make it so truthfully funny. hehe.

PLEASE write more.

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I was just waiting for you to say that dude was Walken! Fantastic again, dearest Falco. grin2.gif

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I knew the minute you mentioned that guy it was going to be me!

I own!


And yes, I am a free agent of surrealism.

But I would've just pulled out a remote control and hit the report button.

laugh.gif Awesome Falco!

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...and the day I see you yelling profanities will be the day I'll burn my Tom Delonge posters. ohmy.gif

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original.gif) I think it fits Walken.

The brattish type that would do the dirty deed and leave someone else to the clean up wink2.gif hahaha

j/k Walken.. i still loves ya! hehehe

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There is a report button? ohmy.gif

I have never used it before. I'm scared now...

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There was also a 'Order Cheeseburger and Fries' button, but we removed that a few days ago.

You should have paid attention!

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There was also a 'Order Cheeseburger and Fries' button, but we removed that a few days ago.

You should have paid attention!

I am vegetarian ohmy.gif

That sounds like scary fun, Falco. laugh.gif

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Falco... more story please. Im becomming impatient ~~giggle~~

Not really impatient.. just wanting to see more of your creativity!

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