The pearl
Entry posted by markdohle
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The pearl
In the end, it is all about love, what we love, and how far we are willing to go to achieve what we desire. The pearl of great price, what is it? Is it the same for everyone, this wanting to the buy the field where the treasure is hidden from prying eyes? The human heart has many longings, urgent ones, that can cause a great deal suffering and frustration in life. I guess there are many pearls of great price that glimmer and attract our attention that in the end lead to emptiness and disappointment. What about the ‘Pearl of great price” that all the others are a mere shadow of? Which also leads to emptiness, joy and freedom? Both pearls lead to emptiness, however there the similarity ends.
Longing is akin to thirst, something sharp, painful, and leading to an often frantic exploration to find some quenching. Or like hunger, a deep gnawing in the pit of the stomach, which demands the inner void to be filled, if not with healthy food, then with anything to lessen the all consuming feeling of inner abandonment. Hunger and thirst are apt metaphors for our human propensity to seeking love in our lives. How far will one go to fit in, to belong, and to feel seen and loved? Or how much is sacrificed to stand above the crowd, to be noticed and admired, as an illusion, created by fame and prestige? Does cotton candy make deeply felt hunger go away, is it life giving? We call alcohol “spirits”; does it take away the inner thirst that nothing seems able to alleviate?
We desire something; attain it, and then it more often than not looses its luster. For what is owned cannot be desired. So what is desire pointing to? Is it the desiring of what can’t be owned? A man or woman can attain the whole world, own it, then what? What then is desired? Perhaps what is then desired then is absolute power, total control over all that one owns. The world and its people reduced to objects and things to be used and thrown away, or killed if unusable or a problem. The world emptied of its wonder, bleached of its color, just ‘things’ with no real value, since there is nothing any longer to long for. Though the inner clamoring is still there, saying “feed me, I am empty and starving”. For in the end the emptiness is the simple loss of what was not really owned in the first place. For the day comes when everything is lost, no matter how powerful or rich one is.
There seems to be no-thing that can fill the inner emptiness. What is owned is swallowed up in the inner darkness, for what is truly desired, is masked, unknowable, and cannot be captured or made ones own. Yet in the end, perhaps it is simply what we love, is that the pearl of great price?
Relationship can only grow when the two doing the dance are open to the ultimate un-knowing of the other. True relationships are in constant movement, each changing the other by the simple interaction of love and acceptance, which allow each one to flower. Human love points to the reality of the “Pearl of great price”, which is a dance that has no end and love that is eternally new. Being made in the image and likeness of this infinite mystery we are each keys for one another to find this pearl, buried, in a field, waiting for each of us to find it. The heart has to be broken and healed for the mystery to be experienced and embraced. A death of a way of life that is simply self-centered and contained, but in the end hollow…… to a life is other centered, chaotic and filled with meaning that only love can give. For this true treasure will not allow walls to go up that shield us from life. Contempt, hatred, anger, revenge and at times depression, in the end are ways to shield us from seeing and experiencing the pain of others. We can objectify others and also ourselves. ‘Things’, are not important, but “Thou’s’ are. When barriers are dropped then the inner wonder of those around us is seen, embraced and life accepted on terms that perhaps seem foolish before it is actually lived out.
Failure is to be expected in the seeking of this “Pearl of great price”, yet in the end the only real disappointment is not getting up. Falling is not the problem, despair is. For despair is just another way of avoiding the pain of seeing ones need of grace. Not only from God, but also the grace of love those others can give us. We cannot rest because we are pursued by what we do not understand, yet the desert is our true home until the living waters are allowed to flow. The hound of heaven is merciless in the pursuit our healing and love. Nothing second best will be allowed to fill the human heart, for the human heart seeks that which can be known only by an eternal revelation of itself, that which we call God.
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