Letting go

So, it is dark and a man or woman find themselves hanging onto the ledge of a cliff, not knowing how far the fall will be when they lose their grip. So they pray, “God help me, is there anyone up there”? There are two outcomes to this story, the one I will focus on is when God does answer, and his response is: “Let go”…..and the man looks up and retorts: “Is there anyone else up there I can talk to”? The story is humorous, yet like a great deal of humor it does strike a cord in most of us, that is why it can often bring a smile or laugh to those who hear it for the hundredth time.

Vulnerability, being open, willing to take a chance can be one of the hardest projects than many are called to carry out in their lives. In human relationships it means placing oneself in the palm of another’s hand, hoping that they will not use that openness as a weapon or tool to hurt or manipulate. Since most of us have been hurt, it would seem reasonable that caution often takes over when the waters are tested with a possible friend or lifelong mate. So there is a letting go here also and perhaps just as fearful as the man clinging to the cliff. The outcome is unknown. Yet a time comes when caution has to be let go of and a chance taken.

Letting go is an act of courage, a relinquishing of control and going into a freefall for a time. The outcome unknown, at the very least on an emotional level, which can be filled with fear and anxiety, that in the end, is what fuels the approach/avoidance strategy that can make any kind of real relationship stillborn.

Doubt has to be faced. An unstated assumption that aside from my faith in human nature that I may profess, the bottom line is that trust is simply not there. Fear and trust do not make good partners in any kind of a dance; one or the other, in the end must lead leading to the death of the other.

Human relationships often mirror how we interrelate with God. God is a generic term that we use to back up our theistic theories about the nature of divinity, which can change and mature; they are called idols. Often fearful projections become tar babies, something that is very difficult to be free of, yet this emotional tyranny does not have to be permanent. To allow a letting go with a human being takes courage and yes a certain level of maturity if any kind of growth is possible. A breaking of possible negative cycles that in the past brought a great deal of pain and isolation, which in the end stops making one into a victim and allowing interior freedom to grow.

“Letting go and letting God” can be a cliché if used too often, yet that does not take away from the importance of what it says. Nor what it can do in ones life, if it is consciously worked out with courage and determination. And of course most importantly, responding to God grace. When seeking to deepen our love and trust in God, it is always an answer to an invitation. This is not something intellectual, though that can be an important part of the maturing process, for many it would be indispensable. True growth entails the integration of all that went before and the learning curve can be steep for many.

Being backed into a corner is perhaps one of the best tools to letting go and letting God. The reason this formula is so often quoted is because it works, those who try it, say it and live it, find out that it does on many levels brings life to a more manageable level. Perhaps it is because once the letting go happens; playing god is no longer necessary. It is easy to forget that we are temporal creatures, on a journey, that is what pilgrims do, they move forward towards a destination. When that is forgotten, clasping is often the fruit of such forgetting and we actually think that a place of permanence and rest can be found and then we can relax. The problem is that point is never reached since temporality is the reality and not permanence.

When this is remembered, that we are pilgrims, then letting go can be done with less fuss and noise. Giving our lives to God is something that we do over and over again, each time it arises from a deeper level. We let go of ourselves, our constant preoccupation with how we are doing. We can let others be at our workplace, since a letting go also means that there has to be a certain level of compassion for self, this leads to allowing us to feel compassion for those around us. The fear of feeling others pain and distress and of actually understanding them is no longer present, or greatly lessened. Gossip, contempt and mockery, are ways to avoid seeing others as another self. Who need our compassion and often times our forgiveness, for their not being there to simply make our lives more comfortable. A great deal of self-absorption is let go of. Letting go of control and seeing God’s hand at work in those around us can take away a great deal of striving that is truly life giving for all.

Of course ‘letting go and letting God’ is not a magical formula, it just keeps us focused on the reality of God’s presence in our lives. Doubts have to be faced and accepted. Conscious choices have to be made over and over again. Trust has to be deepened and fears faced honestly (especially those about God), for what they are, simple human projections that need to be put in their proper place. Emotions and feelings are very important, but those that lead to fear need to be bracketed, accepted, but not listened to. Fear and trust cannot go together. We stop clinging to self pity and self hatred, which leads us to more freely love others. It is a journey, one that takes patience and the ability and humility to simply get up when failure is present. Yes it is in the getting up that we truly “let go and let God”.

There is little that we have control over. Each day we are all given a full plate and the courses presented are not often all that appetizing, yet how we accept what life dishes out to us will either make us better, or simply more angry and bitter. Perhaps it is in the little things that we let go of that will help us when the ‘big’ one happens. Inner freedom and the feelings of peace come with a price, a dying to self so that something bigger will come forth. The truth will set us free. Perhaps the truth is simply this; there is in reality nothing to cling to, our cliff hedges are creations that protect us from the knowledge that we are not in charge, though our decision on how to live out that truth depends on us and our openness to life and grace. We can cling or let go, trust or fear, and while in the end it can take many a lifetime to learn, in the end it has to be a response freely given, to a grace gently offered.