June 26th 2011
Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! I spent nearly the entire nite lucid and in spirit learning the most incredible things.
This entry is going to be long. There is so much to record.
After the amazing weekend in the desert, on Saturday I help an older man after he crashed his bike. We were taking pictures by a bike trail and an old guy crashed his bike. I ran over and administered first responders first aid and assessment. The poor guy injured himself pretty bad . Skinned up badly, injured shoulder, and a huge dent on his helmet. He was loopy and suffering from memory loss, but he adamantly refused to go to he hospital. I drove him home. And made him call his daughter so I could talk to her. I also went to his neighbors house to make sure someone would stay with him after I left.
This is relevant because philanthropy, giving, and extension to others is a large part of spiritual awakenings.
I had taken a long nap with my boys earlier in the day. This was an unintended presleep setup. About 9:30 I started to get those feelings that something is present. A visitor. I could tell I was relaxed and in the proper frame of mind, so I laid back and initiated vibrations. It took me about 20 minutes. Upon vibrations I sat up. I did not need a reality check. I looked around he house a bit to see if I could find the visitor, but no luck. No one was there.
I went to a wall to go through it and made the mistake of remember some of my difficulties going through walls. Sure enough the old habit of physical reality made it difficult getting through the wall. I ended up forcing my hand through and grabbing the other side like a ledge and pulling myself through like pulling myself up onto something. I remember chuckling at myself at not having master this yet. I wonder if I ever will. It's never a problem if I focus on the goal not the task.
After going through the wall something took control over me and lifted me into the air. It was like a chair underneath me. It was not a loss of control. It was relieving of it. This happens when guides have important things to show me. I was taken around my property to float up to various plants both wild and in my garden. I would come up to them and understand them. I can't explain it other than that. It was a communication but more like a melding. I just knew things about them.
This session was almost like a lecture. I was even in an invisible chair. It ended with me floating in front of one of my oak trees. I reached out and took some of it's leaves in my hand. I was marveling at the the rich texture of the leaves. I then felt myself reintegrating with the physical. Halfway I decided to initiate vibrations again. I did, then i sat up again. I got up again, about then my mother and my two boys came down the hall. I had to figure out if they were physically there or in spirit. Then one of my kids shot through the wall.... .
I asked my mom what they were doing. She said that she was out teaching them things. We then had a conversation about some of the things she was teaching them. Then my five year old came up to me and grabbed me by arm asking form me to play with him. I told him that I had some other things to do, but if he wanted he could go outside and try flying.
Not long after talking with my mother i felt the reintegration. Again I reinitiated half way through it. This time I wanted to experiment with something. Someone on um forums had mentioned that they regularly turn themselves into a wolf. I have herd of this in ancient shamanic traditions aswell.
I got up, went through the wall quite easily this time. I stood in my yard and closed my eyes and called upon the spirit of a bear that I have been tracking for several years in the Mclullan wilderness.. I did not need to look he came up behind me. ( this gets a little comical) there must be spirits getting a good laugh at some if my antics
Not knowing quite what to do, I backed into the bear. Grabbed his arms and basically put him on like you would a Jacket. It was pretty tough. Nothing seemed to fit right. After basically being in the bear, I started walking on all four like the bear would, but my right leg kept popping out. I would hit it and pound it a couple of times. Finally it stayed in. After a little while I got the hang of it. I was a bear. I went to the woods around the lake not to far from my house. I was foraging and climbing trees. It was incredible. Then I noticed a change. A shift. The woods were different now. Older massively huge entangled and beautiful trees, almost prehistoric. I have been here before. It was the garden. Everything was different. I spent hours knocking over dead trees, stumps, and rocks just to get a look at all of these odd otherworldly insects. ( could this be another planet?)
Eventually I came upon this stream. Very pure. I took a drink. I cant explain how refreshing it was. That's when I looked up stream and noticed them.
In a pool there was a small group of young women laughing, playing, and talking. They were completely NAKED!! And perfectly beautiful. Not all super skinny either. On of them was fairly large.
Only on of them noticed me staring, to my surprise she smiled and walked toward me. I wasn't sure what to say or do. I was marveling at her incredible beauty. Perfect feminine features with shoulder length dark black curly hair. She was young. Much younger than me. The thought of her young appearance and my obvious attraction for her even lust made me feel guilty, so I turned my head.
At about that time she was close to me. She reached over massaging my chin and said "silly bear, I am much older than you are." she knew what I was thinking!!! She then slid her hand in me and separated me an the bear. the bear walked away, and she took me by my hand and led me to this grassy area above the pool. I have some things to teach you. It would take pages to journal everything she showed me, and it was all very intimate and sexual. She gave me detailed instructions on pleasure giving for a woman, then we made love. The longest and most intensely loving experience I have ever had. I cannot describe it. It was like making love to a goddess ( indeed it may have been just that).
At the point of climax I could not hold myself there I faded back to the physical. Again I stopped it mid way. I sat up in spirit again. I was disappointed at not being able to stay. I had never experienced anything like that before, and I did not want it to end.
I got up gathered my thoughts and went for a walk in spirit through my neighbor hood. No flying, no changing into anything. I just wanted to walk and think. That's what I did. Only the occasional passing car would interrupt my silence walking the streets. I was about to head home, when I saw her again. She was sitting on a neighbors lawn.
She smiled at me, and said " I'm not done with you yet " I walked over and sat next to her. She started to kiss me again. This time when she had pulled me on top of her, she said "are you ready?" I didn't say anything she already knows all of my thoughts. Then we melded. I can't explain it any other way. My body melded into hers and we were a single body of vibrating energetic light. Orgasim..... Extacy would be a horrible understatement. This was not really sexual it was spiritual. Complete union on the deepest level. The closest way I can describe it is an explosion of pure unimaginable pleasure deep within my chest. But then it happens again and again increasing in frequency until it's at a nearly intolerable vibrating frequency.
I then reintegrated with the physical. The feeling was still with me a bit and I was gasping. I was also a little frightened. This is the most powerful thing that has ever happened to me.
After I steadied myself, ( in physical now) I walked over to my bathroom and put some water on my face. Looking at myself in the mirror I was in serious doubt of my sanity. I stood there for a moment in awe and admittedly some fear that I'm loosing it. But I concluded that if I am to go insane this is the way to do it.
It took me a while to get back to sleep, so I turned on the television. There was a program about sexual healing. I never get used to the serendipity that plagues me, but it does not surprise me anymore.
I'm not sure what to think. I need so
some more time to absorb and think.