A bad spirit? Or set back?
Entry posted by White Crane Feather
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Vision log
July 5th 2011
Had a short exit and flight. I was playing with my oak tree. The trees have this electric like current and glow to them. Its very cool. I was playing with this spiritual current watching it fizle and jump through the tree. But that's not the major event of the night.
Major set back.
I just suffered a major sleep paralysis event. Yet it's a valuable lesson eventhough I'm still shaken. It's been years since I thought I mastered this.... It had multiple levels.
After my short journy this night I went back to sleep. At some point I was dreaming that I was talking with two friends. One I cannot identify, the other is this man malaki. Malaki is ....well not totally homeless but .... Often is homeless man I interact with ocasionally. He is one of the only people that know that I can be completely open with eith the things that happen to me. Everyone once and a while we meet at a bar and discuss things. Here's the deal. A lifetime of drug use has put him in some strange places. He is accentric but is a good guy and entertains everyone in the little old town at the bars here where I live.
The dream progresses to me being about to leave then malaci says something to the point of you don't have to say hi when you see me. Then I tell him I enjoy our talks, so of course I will. I was feeling like he was trying to end our relationship and I was hurt ( I am not lucid at this point. )
He then has an unusual steadiness and clearness to his voice that malaci never has. and he says . "no really we don't have to hang out"
Hurt I get up and say something to the effect of " ok if you want that" then I start to walk out. Turning one last time to say by. I'm stoped. Malakis eyes and face are different. There is s grey aura to them. Not understanding and slightly alarmed I keep walking. When I step out of the building I am standing at the top of this long stair case leading to a barren street. There is also this grey Hugh to everything. It's all wrong... I become lucid. Realizing I'm dreaming I become angry. What was that all about? What was that thing trying to come between me and Malaki? I don't believe in evil spirits but that dosnt mean that some don't meddle. I shoot up into the sky to fly over the top of the building to come in behind the thing as a surprise. I start to steady myself for this encounter, similar to what I do before a full contact match.
Dam I start to wake up. Here's the deal I wake up in sleep pralysis.... Although even after all this time I did not recognize it. There is something like a leather shackles on each of my wrists holding me down. ( I inturpreted it as a counter measure from the thing pretending to be malaki) the first thing I tried was reaching down with my awareness to take control of them. It started to work but then I'm distracted by my four year old sobbing upstairs and my wife yelling frantically. I'm thinking it's real---- I'm not totally lucid I guess---- this time I struggle physically with the shackles ( my big mistake.... never struggle with sleep pralysis always stay calm and take mental control..., I of all people know better) The shackles are alive they react to My attempts to remove them but evenchually I manage to peel each shackle off and crumple them to oblivion. Thinking I'm free I start to get up, but I'm not. I still hear the commotion up stairs and I am desperate to get up there. By the way I am in full hypnogogia at this point. My eyes are physically open. There is an info mertial sbout getting government grants on the television.
I am no longer shackled but my blanket had intertwined itself in my legs and arms and was pinning me. Now I realize I'm in sleep pralysis, but instead of calming down I still feel like it was that thing and I'm under attack ( dam abdulamengata). I reach down with my awareness and set my blanket on fire. This frees me I Jump up..... Still hearing the comotion Up stairs and fully believing it's real I charge down the hall way.... Nope I jumped out of body I can tell. I turn around to see myself eyes wide open still on the coach. I run and dive back in. As I sit up physically I realize all the comotion up staires was a hullucination. I stand up. Im up physically but must be still altered because I can see that traditionally reported grey cloud still in the formal room. I charge down the hall way toword it. Then in a very harsh whisper as to not wake my wife. I say. " get the **** out of here and don't come back or I will come for you" it fades through the wall. I'm left standing there haveing just seen the dam thing while in physical. Not liking the ramifications of that I walk back to the sofa. I clear my head and say a prayer for guidance.
Conclusions
1) im a nutcase
2) some spirit wanted to implant the idea of separating me and Malaki, I caught it red handed, and a struggle ensued. ( this would be consistent with the concepts of soul retrieval practice by shaman) is malaki in trouble? Has a spirit attached itself to him? Does he need help?
3) My emotions got the better of me after an odd dream, and i was unable to deal with the sleep pralysis properly.
As usual I will assume all three, until there is reason not to.
I hope I'm not in for some horror movie style fight with something that is attached to malaki, but if it comes here again it's on, I will mediated for guidance. I might go after it for Malakis sake. It dosnt seem to like my influence.
Follow up July 31
Strange thing, I talked to malki yesterday. I felt like I had to tell him about it. I finally found him. He wonders all over the place. He said there are some dark forces in his life. Doors that have been opened through drug use. I told him that I figured as much, then I told him----and it ( incase its listening) that I'm not apart of that.
I really think it has claimed malaki and by discussing spirit world stuff it noticed me and got a little territorial when I started to teach him about awareness.
Strange thing, not long after malaki goes outside to have a cigerate ( I dont smoke)---- but he never came back, it felt strange. Almost like a self fulfilling dream. Was the entire scenerio set up so I would tell him and he would react that way? Was he still being influenced? Was the entire thing set up by guides and positive forces to help malaki be more aware? I don't know, I am starting to belive that the whole thing is for Malakis benefit. My Wiccan friend told me that I carry healing with me, and that the coincidences, ocurances , and people that I attract are all spart of it. I don't know. I prey very often for the great spirit to work through me..... Maby that is what happened.
I feel like it is over, and is in Malakis hands now. Possibly a lesson in awareness for him.
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