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A man awake

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Melding into the light.

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White Crane Feather


I have not been doing much journeying lately. Instead I have have been meditating to exit, then simply surrendering my self and evaporating into light. It's an amazing indescribable experience. I have been scared of this before because it is very much like a drug, but someone suggested that it should be a practice. So I let go of my fear of being not grounded and let it happen nearly every time now.

As I feared.... My attention has shifted to how wonderful everything is. It's like a permanent buzz. I burned my finger today and after yelping for a couple of seconds I actually started to enjoy the sensation ( now I know I am going nuts). Every day I'm takeing my kids on nature walks and soaking up the the outdoors. ( no Im not taking the painkillers from my surgery). Don't need them I had planned to be laid up for months. But I feel like I just scraped my knee up a bit.

It is true.... I'm feeling these urges to sell my business drop out of the race and be a stay at home dad.... Cooking , gardening, training my children on all the wonderful things I know. I can still earn cash a hundred other ways. I'm feeling that I want go live as close to earth as I can. Yesterday I put together a meal From wild salsify, wild greens, and some fish I had caught and had in the freezer.

How did I go from educated business man with a 1000 irons in the oven to spending ours sitting silently under oak trees for hours, meditating myself into oblivion, and actually contimplating a life gardening and raising children.

Sheesh what a ride this is.

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement." ----Meg Ryan "'Joe VS The Volcano"

I love that movie.

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Enjoyed this entry and the quote. One meaning of the word Buddha is: 'the one who woke up' or 'one who is awake'.

For myself I would characterize meditation as the 'me' disappearing into pure awareness. It is scarey at first, but it's a return to my original nature at one with everything.

It's the simplest thing to do and it requires no effort. What a relief! :)

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This is interesting... I've never heard of evaporating into the light... could you explain it?

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White Crane Feather


Well. I exit. Then sort of lift up into the air and offer myself completely up.... Sort of surrender. I sort of lift my my chest up ( as if I had a chest at this point). Then I feel the vibrations run through me.... But they are intensly pleasurable. Then I feel myself sort of separate into many small pieces. I do this willfully I think. It does take some focus not to get wrapped up in these odd pleasurable vibrations.

Next thing I'm aware of is overwhelming pleasurable vibrations, extreme bright light, not really knowing who I am..... But more like I am everyone. I feel as if i know everything. I wish I could remember some of that. There is a state of complete awe and exiliration. In loose all desire to check on things or try and communicate.... There is no point I already know.

After what seems like forever there is a shift. I sort of fall asleep in the warmth. Then I open my eyes and I remember the experience.... I just can't retain that sense of knowing.

I think the component here is the complete surender. I

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