I woke up early this morning. To early. It was still dark. There were waves of chills pulsing through me. This only happens when there is a visitor. It's like normal chills, but they are very intense And they pulse through me from head to toe in waves.
I closed my eyes to initiate vibrations. They came very fast and were unusually strong. I exited just by getting up. I did not need a reality check, I knew i was out. I start a process of clearing my house. I was checking everywhere to see if anything was here. Nothing at first. Then I walked by the front door. There was a presence behind the door. I walked straight through the door confident and in a solid state of mind. ( no problems). Shewww I was a little worried that whatever was waiting for me would see me bounce off the door like an idiot. It wouldn't be the first time.
Waiting outside was the bearded man from the last dream/journey. I guess it wasn't a dream. I cant explain the darkness that came over me. I think it was anger. I started looking around for all those other spirits, I was preparing myself for battle. The bearded man took a defensive posture. Even the lighting of everything darkened and dimmed. It was like the world around me was responding to my focus on him. Things were crawling In the bushes!!!!! Just like the Mara meditation.
wait... I realized what was happening. Almost as soon as i did everything snapped back to the normal crispness of astral realities and the demons in the bushes disappeared. It was just me and the bearded man again.
He looked very disheveled. I walked up to him. I was still glancing around for the others but there were none. He had found me and came alone. When I got to him he collapsed to his knees. It was such a surprising movement that i did not know what to do. Why was this happening?
His hands were over his face but he lowered them and looked up at me. I know this look. He is in a state of surrender....TO ME?!?!?
Boy o boy does he have the wrong guy. I'm more like Forest Gump In the spirit world. I don't have the slightest clue how to help him. Or even what's wrong with him.
I kneel down beside him and I put my hand on his shoulder. For some reason words seem pointless. I'm just about to shake my head and convey the message that I don't know anything, when a thought occurs to me.
Maybe he needs to pass into the light. Well I can do that!!! I sort of pat him on the shoulder to say "look".
I stand up and use the technique I learned a while ago for tearing apart reality. I focus all all my attention on one spot and I throw all of my energy and awareness at it. Nothing at first, but then that smoky shimmering starts to happen. Thats when I take my hands and dive in. I keep training my awareness to a smaller and smaller point pulling and tugging at the layers that I encounter. It feels like a very rubbery jello, and the there is this sound like waves going through sheet metal. Finally I get there. The substrate light. The backing of all reality. It shines through like a bright star. Holding the tear open, I look over my shoulder at him and make a head motion for him to jump in. He is taking to long. It's not easy to hold this thing open. An extremely loud white noise is also blasting through. The light and the warmth are beginning to spread through my arms as well. If I experience merger now, I will Be completely useless.
He walks up to the hole and lifts his hand up to it like you do around a camp fire. Im Stressing out now, the white noise is deafening and I'm loosing my grip on the rubbery substance. At the same time I can feel the light grabbing at me. It's in my arms. It's already starting to happen. My arms are already starting to turn into the ever dividing balls of light. If It gets to my ears it's over. ( don't ask me why the ears I don't know). I make another motion with my head to hurry. He looks at me with such astonishment then starts shaking his head and backing away. Not knowing what to do, I release my grip on the tear. There is this sucking loud pop noise and bam I'm back in bed. No waking sensations just the feeling of being back. Why didn't he go through?
.............................. If people knew the crap happening inside my head, they would think I'm crazy for sure.
"and that's all I have to say about that."