Trying to bring it all together
There is always more than one side to any of us. True we are each unique, but we share a common humanity and that is what allows us to communicate with each other. Even with that however, we can only put before others a small fragment of who we are. We each have deep inner lives, often much of it hidden, but it can reveal itself if we have ways that allow the door to open a bit. I believe in each of us there are deep wells of joy and peace, as well as pain and chaos. Each I believe is just as important as the other, though often only one or the other predominates. Or to be more precise, they mix and sometimes something is lost in that, but it does allow us to continue on our different paths through this often difficult and mysterious existence. Art is a good way for many of us to get peeks of this inner reality, often hidden and not always pleasant in how it is experienced. Movies are perhaps the most common way to get a peek into our own inner world. The different characters and situation will often draw out strong responses that we can’t feel, or will not allow ourselves to feel in everyday life. Music and literature as well can lead us to an ever deeper experience of our inner lives.
Our spiritual lives will also bring forth aspects of ourselves that we need to face, or work on. We can learn from our struggles, to have compassion towards others who also have their own path to walk.
In everyday life, I tend to be a jokester, talkative and people say I am funny as well. When I write something different comes to the surface. Which I believe is a common experience for writers who are simply trying to deal with their own innards, frustrations and yes with the joy as well. Within each of us are bits of heaven and hell and perhaps a great deal of purgatory that needs to be experienced and lived out and hopefully leading to integration. Heart, soul and mind come closer together. The older I get the less I seem to understand, at least when I look within and see the inner shifting going on. Though as I age, there is also a settling that seems to be happening, which is beyond my conscious control. I think it has more to do with how I relate to it all, that either allows further growth, or perhaps become trapped in an inner stalemate. It depends on my being open to self knowledge or closed to it. Either way has it own difficulties.
I believe that within each human there is more going on than we can perhaps imagine. The war between good and evil, light and darkness, the cosmic war so called by many, takes place within each human heart, which has the capacity to make choices. I can’t point fingers, for within my own soul I have experienced what I am capable of. We are called to love I believe. Some will say that is a silly notion…. but all we have to do is to look within and see what we struggle for at rock bottom. I do not believe I am a good person, just someone who is trying to grow in grace and love and who has to make choices every day to continue that journey. I believe that the deep spiritual experiences I have received. Came at a point in my life; even if I was unaware of it…. when I was in most need of some inner help…..when I needed to see that, yes, there is more going on within myself and each human being that is known or imagined. To me that is what grace is all about. If we are seeking, and I believe we all are. We do get what we need and not what we want.
Most of the suffering in the world comes about because we and myself as well, perhaps more for me, do not yet understand the power and strength of gentleness, compassion, empathy, forgiveness and love. I think that is what we are about. To turn our inner fragmentation into wholeness that can only come about by letting go of self hatred, the desire for revenge and the running away from that which I believe calls us all. I am still at the beginning. Yet is not each day a new beginning, each hour and minute? I have slowly learned to trust the process that we are I believe involved in. I use Christian terms and I have faith in that revelation, but not all is revealed, each life is a work of art, and the Spirit works in secret to brings each work of art to fruition