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talking to myself

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Being alone

markdohle

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Being alone

When alone, the moment we enter our room and close the door, when we are accompanied only by silence, we change. We are adrift either in isolation or in solitude; they are of course not the same. In both of these states all of our pretenses fall away. Our ego’s, no longer needed, move into the background, though there may be some resistance, which can be felt as restlessness. An attempt I believe to keep us busy, that is often based on the fear of the seeming ocean of nothingness…. of the quiet of being alone. I believe that some forms of boredom are actually a misreading of the presence, seeking to draws us deeper into relationship.



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Actually I like being alone. I like the quiet and the solitude and not having to worry about what anyone will say based on what I am doing.

However I do agree that many people seem to be afraid of even silence itself as they seek to always have something being piped into their ears. It's almost as if people don't want to face their thoughts and do some introspection or even just "space" out.

By always being occupied like that, it sometimes only serves as a way to avoid thinking about things; to avoid the very progression of the thought process.

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I have learned the art of solitude from the Nepalese. I have squatted, cross-legged with Limbus, Tamangs and Sherpas in the foothills of the Annapurna Range and shielded my eyes from the glare from the snow-line on 'Fish-tail Mountain', and watched breathlessly as a snow leopard and her cub glided amongst the millet fields in the Marsyangdi Valley.

I am not by nature, a spiritual man, but I relish the mental refreshment and clarity that solitude can impart. For me, solitude doesn't have to be silent. A Steppe Eagle circling overhead makes the loneliest cry I have ever heard, but oh how perfect it is, carried on the icy wind that snaps at the 'Darchor' prayer-flags!

This is the nearest I have come to any kind of deity, and if one exists, I thank him for the gift of solitude.

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Actually I like being alone. I like the quiet and the solitude and not having to worry about what anyone will say based on what I am doing.

However I do agree that many people seem to be afraid of even silence itself as they seek to always have something being piped into their ears. It's almost as if people don't want to face their thoughts and do some introspection or even just "space" out.

By always being occupied like that, it sometimes only serves as a way to avoid thinking about things; to avoid the very progression of the thought process.

I agree, it is important to be able to look inward, it is also restful in the end. When I don't get enough time alone, and I need more than most, I start to feel like a rubber band stretched too far ;-).

Thank you very much for such a thoughtful comment.

peace

mark

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I have learned the art of solitude from the Nepalese. I have squatted, cross-legged with Limbus, Tamangs and Sherpas in the foothills of the Annapurna Range and shielded my eyes from the glare from the snow-line on 'Fish-tail Mountain', and watched breathlessly as a snow leopard and her cub glided amongst the millet fields in the Marsyangdi Valley.

I am not by nature, a spiritual man, but I relish the mental refreshment and clarity that solitude can impart. For me, solitude doesn't have to be silent. A Steppe Eagle circling overhead makes the loneliest cry I have ever heard, but oh how perfect it is, carried on the icy wind that snaps at the 'Darchor' prayer-flags!

This is the nearest I have come to any kind of deity, and if one exists, I thank him for the gift of solitude.

[/quote

I sense great depth in you, rootedness and a radical acceptance of the world as it is. I think that makes you someone in touch with reality on all levels. We dont' believe the same things, but on some deeper level, I feel a connection.

peace

mark

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Alienated Being

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I have found solitude and independence to be both rewarding, and relaxing. Rewarding in the respect that I get to indulge in as much literature as I wish, without having to worry about somebody to bother me. On top of that, I am able to invest time in other hobbies that I possess interest in, such as watching movies, tinkering with computers, etc. It is also relaxing in the respect that, well, I am able to avoid the hustle-and-bustle that a busier social life demands. I am very private, however, my charismatic nature, and social skills heavily contradict a stereotypical loner.

You know what I used to do, during my lunch breaks as a young teenager, aged 15? I used to go outside into the field, and sit on a small hill sloping down into civilian housing. I would look out at the horizon, just staring into the city, with the beautiful sun and blue sky above my head. I was at peace. It was almost tranquil, honestly. Actually, it WAS tranquil.

As a young boy, growing up with the health issues that I was plagued with, I learned to cope with loneliness, and independence. I was my own friend, but I never had trouble becoming acquainted with others. My level of maturity at such a young age also had no helping hand in making friends, either - in fact, it was completely deterrent. I would commonly engage others (whom were much, much older than I) in discussion(s) regarding politics, religion, metaphysics, etc. I was just so thirsty for knowledge about the world around me... I loved to learn, and still do. In fact, my thirst for knowledge resulted in me being labeled as a "little old man" by the nurses in the children's hospital. A great many of them became very close with me, especially when I have spent about ten years (when you add up the amount of admissions in total) in the hospital. Perhaps this is why I prefer to be alone - because I had to deal with so many people poking and prodding me throughout my life, that I was sick of such interaction, and I just wanted to go home.

Anyway, sorry for that spiel - it just sort of hit me close to home.

Being on my own for the vast majority of the time is... wonderful. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't see why it is so stigmatized by society.

Cheers, all.

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Thank you, what a wonderful post. I admire your courage and depth of understanding of things. I can see why you would seek out older persons to befriend. I am sure your friends benefit greatly from knowing you and you too allow yourself to be enriched.

peace

mark

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