Just woke up from a strange dream. Basically the dream was about Somone instructing me on how to face this very powerful entity. It was her ( I think). A spirit guide.
She was walking me through the steps of how the encounter would take place and what exactly I should do. She warned that the entity was something of a puppet master. Not in an evil way, just by its nature. Infact there wasn't even a lot of intelligence to it more animal like. This would be to my advantage and allow me to avoid its influence. I asked her to show me what it looks like. Basicaly a giant sea cucumber. Then I asked her what it's influence would feel like. She said she could show me. She asked if I were ready, I said yes. Then she brought the feeling upon me. Wooooooeeeee. I could feel my chest tighten up, and a very intense panic attack feeling started to well up in me. She asked if I were ok, I said yes keep it comeing she turned it up a bit. A crippleing spirit crushing sensation rolled through me in waves. I can't explaine it. It was like you might feel watching a loved one die right before your eyes but you are helpless. She said we are not there yet, can you take it. Not really wanting to but knowing this is an opertununity, I said yes.... More.
She dialed up what ever it was she was doing. Mind numbing intense panic filled me like a balloon. Almost to the point of ego dissolution. I don't have words for it. It was so powerful all I could do was just hold myself against it .
When it was over, she said we have to do a dry run. She reached over and kissed me on my forhead. Instantly I was laying in bed at my old house. I was fully lucid and aware that this is a constructed environment. I knew it as a practice run. And I could feel the twinges of panic starting to creep up. I got up and started turning onl lights in the house. I was looking for this sea cucumber like thing. Finally I found it on a wall. Sure enough it threw it's sickening attack at me, but out of instinct I threw up a wall right in front of me. I say wall because it was like an invisible barrier right in front of me and the "strings" that this thing has hit it. I Could feel its influence but on the wall not on me. I can't explaine better than that. It was a very physical barrier about three feet in front of my face but yet it was invisible a made purely out of my will. I could also feel the things influence on the wall but it was still in front of me. I just don't think there is any way to describe that.
I woke up shaking my head back and forth sort of p***ed. Why do I have to deal with this crap? I have enough going on in my life. It makes no ******* sense. I am not going to go to battle with some astral sea cucumber. I have important things in this world to worry about instead of learning to throw up astral shields and **** like that. What good is any of it? Is there even any reality to it? Im just tired. I want to help people. I don't want to be plagued with responsibility even in dreams. I'm just weary. I'm tired. Its 3:30 and i have to deal with this instead of just sleep. Spirit guides can take their lessons and shove it for a while. I just want to grow my garden, teach martial arts, take care of my kids, and make my wife happy. Seeker79 may just shut down his astral life for a while.