Dream like but real
I often wonder what the world would be like if we could really believe that one day, each “I”, my own “I”, will day simply cease to exist, at least as far as this world is concerned. It is true we all know we will die, but I believe it is something like someone who smokes saying about lung cancer: “Well we have to die from something”, then when the day comes, there is shock, fear and the desire to beat the disease at all cost. I visited a grave yard here in Conyers last week. It was kind of hidden from site but it was interesting to look at the old graves, some over 150 years old. Some grave-markers were so old the markers were just plain stone; so maybe some of the graves are even older. I saw plots for whole families, many children’s graves and there were a few where the people lived to be in their 80”s, which back then was most likely something special. Each one a life lived out in the way I live out my life from day to day. I have always had trouble with time, as I suppose many do, it does not seem linear when actually thought about, or experienced, it is as if all moments, no matter how far back, are in fact very near, almost ‘now”, as if they just happened. As I get older the thought that this life, though real, is perhaps more dream like than not is something I can’t shake.