I dreamt last nigh of the garden goddes. The female entity that taught me that night I had become a bear. I can't call it a projection since I was sleeping but I was lucid from the start.
I woke up in a pristine fieild of tall grass outside the walls of a massive gleaming white city maby a half mile away. I sat up and and wondered what in the heck for a couple of seconds, then realized I was dreaming almost instantly. looking around i took in all the smells and and sights just to enjoy this increadible landscape.
That's when I saw her walking towards me. Dark hair and beautiful. I call her the garden godes. I wish these figures would give a name to use, but they never do. I had now seen her since that time I turned myself into a bear.
She finally made it to me. She whereing this flowing blue shawl that wraped around her more like a towel exposing her neckline and shoulders. She could not be more perfect.
She hugged me very close and with increadible warmth. Then she motioned for me to sit down in the grass. I did.
There was a peaceful silence between us. I don't have to say anything to her, she knows my thoughts already. She came close to me and lightly brushed her mouth against my cheek. My desire for her was beyond words. She had that soft inviting look that's says everything about what the other is thinking.
I actually turned my head. She was so powerfully beautiful and I was feeling the most incredible love for her... It was nearly unbearable. ....Guilt.... My wife..... It's been sometime since she looked at me like that. Stress and raising three boys, taxes, bills, and the great entropy of life has its claws in us. I don't really feel like it owns me, but I worry about her. it's very painful to think about. I suppose I have been avoiding looking at it with truthful eyes.
The goddess turns my head back around..... And says my name. She says that she is all women including my wife. She then says that I have been maried to her long before comeing to earth. She has one hand on the side of my face and the other is on my chest. There is a white energy comeing from my chest and intermingling with her hand. It strikes me then the incrediblness of all this. She the Kisses my forehead, then my eyes, my nose, then my mouth, my chin, my jaw...
I feel all this pain that i had been surpressing start to well up and be released with every kiss. She continues to kiss every part of my face. I particularly like it when she kisses my eyes. The feel of her is so incredible, I can't explain it. I kiss her back... And we make love for hours in the grass outside of this grand white city.
When I wake up. I'm nearly in tears. I don't know what to think. The memory of it is so detailed and rich. Not like dreams. Every moment is retained. I was with her for hours. So wonderful.
Am I loosing my mind? How can a fall in love with a spirit. That dosnt seem healthy. I love my wife. Is the goddess a collective conciousness of all women? If that is true than she is my wife....sort of.
It could be all just a dream. That's the easyest to go with right now.