After My zombie dream last night, I reclined back and started meditations for the journey. It did not take long before feeling vibrations. Surprisingly they were fairly strong. It seems that I don't feel them that strong as much these days. I exited by allowing myself to float straight up. Its a feeling that I can never get used to and always amazes me no matter how many times I do it.
OOB standing their in my living room, Im trying to decide what to do. I had felt a presence, so I was hoping that it would be here with me. It wasn't. The house is just quite. Everyone is asleep. That is when out of the corner of my eye, I notice water. Water outside my sliding glass door. I look out. There is a strange but familiar look to the sky. The sky is half lit, but the sky is exploding with stars. Possibly what being closer to the center of a galaxy must look like.
I step through the glass in to the water, the house fades away and I am standing the beech. I'm standing in heaven. The blue waves, the sky, the bubbling and crashing of waves upon the sand. The galaxys that sparkle in the bubbles of the waves.
I'm overcome with awe. This time I do drop to my knees. Waist deep while on my knees, as the surf moves in and out. I kneel there for a moment with the water swirling around me. I can sense the pure innocent love. It really is like no other. It reminds me once again of how my 16 month old loves.
The waves are huge. Much larger than a normal sea, but they don't seem dangerous. The water doesn't feel cool like water is supposed to, but it does feel smooth. Light and silky like. Nor do I feel wet.
After a few moments, I get my thoughts together. I look at the sea, and I can tell that the great spirit is not concerned with answers. It just is. In all its love and consciousness it is just there. It is basking in my attention just as I am literally bathing in its. It reminds me of the moments just before bed when putting young children to sleep when there are no words, you just stare into each others eyes in pure love. I loose track of myself again, but I bring myself back.
I turn to the starts and shout “Angel!? Can you hear me!?”
“I'm here” I hear her say. Suddenly she is standing on the beach in front of me. Then, she to gasps and falls to her knees looking out past me. I barely hear her say “thank you for bringing me here”.
Looking over the shoulder I am struck with confusion, I thought she brought me here, yet it seems that she has never seen this. Strange. I look back at her. She is lost in the sight as well.
I say “come here, sit in the water.” She rises and walks slowly to me and then also kneels right in front of me.
“Whats happening to me” I ask. She tells me that mind is opening. Soon I will have access to all of my dreams and mind and the illusions of the world will start falling away. There is no hiding anything from her, my thoughts were ---does that mean I'm finally going crazy---.
She comforts me that it is not the case. She also mentions that I have been praying for it for years. Ever since I wrote the seekers prayer and recite it.
---But why? What does it all mean? What good is any of it? ---- I was firing questions at her.
She touches my face to stop me. It melted my thoughts, just like she did I the drive thru so many years ago. The first time I saw her was a physical event. I was fighting with my wife, her sister, and her mother. Evidently I had said something to offend their mother, and they ganged up on me. I left In a rage and was planning to disappear in the mountains. I stopped at a drive through to get a burger. This beautiful young woman that I gave my money to reached out and grabbed my hand. I tried to pull it away a few times until I realized she was holding onto it on purpose. I look into her eyes, and she just held me. There was a light behind her blond angelic hair. A straight forward stereo typical image of an angel doing angelic work. She melted every bit of anger in me. I dont know how long she held me in that drive through, but it felt like forever. When she finally let go, I drove off feeling silly for how i'm balance I was reacting to the whole thing.
Now here we are. Her and I kneeling together in the waters of the great spirit, having met in physical life and having a long standing relationship in spirit.
She responds with a few simple words. “This Lukas”. ( my name) Not her hand, but the touch of it. "Its about us. All of us. All beings of existence and how we connect to each other." She made me understand. Its the moments of love and relationship that are the true an only reason for our existence, and our purpose. Our purpose is to love and relate to one another, all life, and the Great Spirit....God. There are no other purposes.
I then ask her why she has never been here. She tells me that she is a function of the existence. A creation, she doesn't change or grow, while souls are children of existence.
Starting to understand, I ask her if she would like to come with me. Knowing my thoughts, she looks out over the rolling waters. She says yes. As long as she can remember no one has ever invited her to join them on a merger.
She leans into me and kisses me on my cheek and says "thank you." Hand and hand me and my angel walk into the ocean.
When I finally come back to normal reality, I am asleep. Yes I am aware that I am sleeping. I let my mind slip into a dream.
All these workers all over my yard working on different things. I try to corner one of them and find out what they are all doing there. Non of them will respond to me. I'm fully lucid, and its definitely a dream.
I sit down in my vegetable garden and watch. I marvel at the fact that I am sitting in the garden of my mind watching all the inner workings play themselves out. I watch for what seems like hours.
It has been quite a night.