NOTE: Hi Everyone. Dr. 58 will return soon ... I have an enormous amount of transcripts to pore over, edit and put into shape for presentation here -- I hope to get to it in just a few days -- In the meantime -- I want to share this series of posts with you that is off the subject of Dr. 58, per se, but involves some other explorations of consciousness I have conducted recently.
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As writer I often work as a ghostwriter, and I recently accepted a job from a publisher in Europe to create a rather large manuscript on the subject of reincarnation.
Although I have had a lifetime interest in reincarnation, (mostly a passing interest), the intense amount of research I was required to do for this project led me deeper into the more arcane aspects of the complex belief systems surrounding the idea that we have lived “past lives.”
Anyway, since I was steeped in the subject all day, one night I decided to conduct my own experiment to see if I could find out anything about my own possible reincarnations.
One of the primary methods of discovering past lives is the use of hypnotic regression. As for myself, I cannot be hypnotized, and I won’t go into detail right now why that is so.
However, I have explored many aspects of altered consciousness exploration, from 31 years of daily Zen meditation to lucid dreaming, and use of various binaural beat technologies. For this experiment to ferret out my own past lives, I opted for one of my old favorites, Hemi-Sync, a series of binaural tools developed by the Monroe Institute of Faber, Virginia.
In this case, I opted for “Problem Solving Focus 12” from the “Threshold” series because it enabled me to set up a “problem” to solve – the word “problem” is slightly the wrong term here, as I choose to think of my “problem” in this case to be “goal” – but, effectively, the guidance of this program was ideal for leveraging the experience I was attempting to “program” for myself.
I got comfortable flat on my back and tuned into the blissful tones of Hemi-Sync until I entered that “body asleep – mind awake” state, which some might call the hypnogogic state, which is the stage between sleep and wakefulness – although in my case, my mental presence was not that of sleep nor a lucid dream situation – rather, a subtle frame of consciousness wherein the mind is free of the physical body and can explore what I’ll just call “other aspects” of reality.
I set up my reincarnation scenario this way:
Once in my altered state of consciousness, I was to imagine and create three doorways which were floating out somewhere in the middle of space.
On each door I would “imprint” a “target date.” These dates I chose at random, although in fact, I selected dates that I had an intuitive feeling for. I just sort of “let my hand write them down.” So the dates I choose were:
Door Number One: 35,000 B.C
Door Number Two: 75 A.D.
Door Number Three: 1500 A.D.
My goal then was to enter through each doorway to see what I would find on the other side – with the intention or hope that I might find one of my “past lives” living in one of these eras so far removed from the present day in time.
I was pleased to discover that I was having a good Hemi-Sync session. In about 40 minutes, I felt my consciousness detach from my body and float free. At first I saw the surroundings of my bedroom as I floated upward. I watched (with typical amusement) the beams, insulation, woodwork and rafters of my house dissolve right through my “body “as I floated upward. (I remember the “old days” when this used to freak me out).
Once above the roof of my home, floating free above the snowy Minnesota countryside, a felt a sudden tickling whorl at my center.
Then: I was blasted upward!
There was a blur, and I found myself suspended in outer space –perhaps not exactly space – true, there were stars burning hard and steady in the unimaginable distance – but my immediate surroundings were suffused in a lovely carbon blue.
My discipline was holding and my control was good. I turned my mind to the formation of my three doorways – and before long – there they were! Floating out in the carbon-blue space against a backdrop of distant stars were three heavy oaken doors, framed in black timber and hung with polished brass hinges. On each door was a brass plate engraved with the dates I had “programmed” – 35,000 B.C., 75 A.D and 1500 A.D.
To be honest, I didn’t know exactly how this would work from here. (I often don’t think out every detail of these kinds of projects).
Would I just float up to each doorway, open it somehow and pass through?
As I thought of this, I again felt a tingling tug in my solar plexus. (The solar plexus or my astral or analog body, that is). I was then pulled forward, as if by magnetic attraction.
I was moving toward the door on the left – the doorway to 35,000 B.C.!
As is often the case, I have sudden moments where I question whether my meddling and experiments are a good idea. There was a certain loss of control. As I moved inexorably toward Doorway No. 1, there was that uneasy “well, there’s no going back now” feeling.
I moved closer and closer to the portal to 35,000 B.C. -- I began to experience a breathless adrenaline surge as I noticed that the door began to swing open – I caught a glimpse of blue sky and sunlight on the other side!
My speed increased – there was a sudden “WHOOOOOOSH!”
I had become a blurred streak of light!
I reached the door!’
It was gaping wide!
I plunged through!
I opened my eyes. I found myself crouched low in a guarded position, standing on a stony bit of ground. I immediately became aware of a white sun crackling in the sky, radiating hot on my face – in fact, I felt the powerful, almost “heavy” solar rays baking my bare shoulders, arms and hands.
I am in a physical body!
I stand up slowly. I look around in awe at the environment. Out in the distance in front of me I see a line of mountainous peaks, but they are not far away – perhaps only a mile or two across a deep gorge between where I stand and the craggy spires.
To be exact, I would say that these “mountain peaks” were more like large rocky bluffs, perhaps only about 800 feet high, made of blue-black stone interspersed with trees, foliage and slides of rubble -- but they were seemed much larger and higher because of their radical incline from the valley below.
The gorge itself is a dense mix of deciduous and coniferous trees along with many boulders. I could not see to the bottom because of all the structure, but I could sense that the way to the bottom was steep and deep. Rough land! No man’s land, for sure!
The sky was richly cerulean. Fluffy white clouds scudding from left to right – the atmosphere was steamy hot! The humidity was oppressive. Dampness was trickling down my shoulders and running down my bare legs.
I noticed that I was wearing what appeared to be animal skins belted at my waist, not much longer than shorts– not so crudely designed really – but in this case, fastened up and worn in a way to help me stay cool as possible. To be honest, it appeared I was wearing a rolled-up jumble of filthy matted road kill.
I was an adult but youngish, lean and smooth-muscled. I had a course black beard and long black hair, wet and tangled.
Was this me – in my previous life – in 35,000 B.C.?
I looked to the right and left. I could see that I was on a primitive trail that traversed my side of the valley wall. I looked up and behind me the bluffs extended steeply above my head probably at least 200 feet. The only open way of the trail appeared to be to my left.
I noticed that I was breathing heavy, like I had been exerting myself. When I looked left down the trail – way off to the left… it was as if I suddenly remembered something – then -- a roiling pit of emotional dread seeped upward into my consciousness, like an evil black crude bubbling up from a place of psychic darkness.
I realized: It was because there was something down there – down that trail. Something terrifying.
It was something I didn’t want. I knew one thing for sure: I wanted to be opposite and go opposite from whatever it was.
But what manner of horror was it? Just contemplating it made the dreadful feelings come forth even stronger and build.
Oh God! What’s down there? I don’t want it!
Whatever it was, wherever that path led, toward what evil -- it was more than horror and dread. It was unspeakable.
But wait a minute – what am I thinking?
I began to get fuzzy about who or what I was. Am I Ken, lying back in my bed in Minnesota, projecting my consciousness? Who am I? What am I doing here? Damn!
This gets confusing fast!
Emotions flood in to imprint over a particular focus on a reality scenario.
Suddenly, my “Ken reality scenario” receded into the background.
A ridiculous thought: “Don’t get trapped here, goddammit!"
Then a snippet of self-chatter: “Ken! You damned fool! Stay frosty, dude!”
It’s all ridiculous, alright …I know it seems ridiculous … but the emotions there in the moment were so intense, cloying and absorbing, like walking into mud, sucking black greasy mud –a thick mire –a gruesome fen of an alternate reality scenario pulling me in, pulling me down.
The mud is irrational pure emotion – it draws you in, and you get stuck in it.
The way along the path to the left was dense, rocky, thick with brush and trees. Even though there was a rudimentary trail, the going would be tough – but why go that way – why walk toward “IT”?
Why not just run the other way?
But there was no other way. I could see I was all-but trapped when I looked to the right. The trail in that direction came and abutted up to a rocky out thrust – I couldn't get around it – the only way was up, or back to left – and to be honest, I was now feeling an overwhelming compunction to go left – toward whatever is was I desperately wanted to avoid at all costs.
Was this my purpose for coming here?
Was there something I needed to face up to, no matter how deplorable and frightening that something might be?
Was this something I had avoided in a past life, left undone, and so now the karmic weight of it was still weighting down my soul?
Thus, I could hardly believe it when I began placing one foot ahead of the other – moving forward down the left trail, going toward that which my gut told me I should be avoiding at absolutely all cost – yet onward I went anyway, sweating and laboring for exaggerated care.
I held my breath as much as possible, eager to stay quiet – I was being extremely careful not to snap a twig or shift some rubble that would give away my presence. (Who or what was I afraid of?)
I picked my way along hard ground interspersed with many sharp-granite pebbles. These couldn’t cut my bare feet, I noticed. My soles were tough and callused, like leather pads!
I worked my way along about 100 yards and then I heard the noises -- yips, grunts, yelps – squawking voices of terrible glee – human yet maybe not quite human – freakish hoots and eerie warbles – whoever or whatever they were, they were working hard, repeatedly thrusting with some intense effort of exertion.
I saw movement and crept forward. Peering through dense thickets and foliage, I saw what was happening.
There was a group of six other human figures – swarthy, deeply tanned, bare chested, gleaming with sweat and oily skin, tangled hair, dirty – they were raising clubs and brings them down, up and down, up and down, again and again, grunting heavily with their gruesome labor – they were beating another man to death.
Or I should say, he must have already been well beyond death.
He was a bloody, pulpy mass of flesh and bones crumpled on the ground. His entire face and head was a mass of smeared red gore. His skull was crushed and brains were coming out, yet they kept beating him all over– it’s as if they were tenderizing his meat with their clubs before burning him and eating him.
My bowels loosened with intense fright – not just for the horror of the scene -- but it suddenly occurred to me that these primitive ogres would easily be able to sense my presence, even though I was well hidden and dense, tangled thickets.
Somehow, I knew about them –I knew how they worked. I understood their ways and M.O.
I knew they could smell my sweat and body odor from a mile off. The fear hormones tainting my perspiration would excite them like catnip – the prefrontal contexts inside their skulls would ignite with a frenzied blood lust. If the slightest breeze wafted my scent toward them, they would be up and snorting the air like dogs –
And then they did!
Suddenly, two of the brutes shot up, stood erect and craned their heads into the air. They began pacing around eagerly, lifting their noses – three others saw them, and triggered by pack mentality, they waxed instantly excited as well.
Within seconds, they looked toward my position in the woods and bounded forward!
I turned and bolted – I strained every muscle into an instant fight-or-flight sprint!
AHHHHHH!!! My God! I must run – run, run, run!
I was fast, I knew that -- very fast. I was more than a match for them in speed, but that mattered little. That’s because they would hunt me as a pack. I knew how they worked. They would split off into a group of three. One would chase me directly from behind – the other two would fan out to either side and thus maneuver to turn me. By slowing my path of retreat from a straight line to a zig zag they could close the gap fast and jump on me.
They can’t do that!
The path is too narrow!
They can’t fan out – then can only pursue from behind!
I have a chance!
I can live!
I can run!
It doesn’t matter!
About a hundred yards ahead , the trail is blocked by rock!
I can’t get around!
They’ll trap me!
Tear my flesh with their teeth!
Claw me with filthy nails!
Tear my skin!
Bash my head!
Flinty shards of my shattered skull will crunch into my brain!
And yet … they’ll carefully keep me alive to flay and rip away my skin!
They’ll drink my blood!
They’ll eat my heart while it’s still hot!
I could try to scramble up the walls of the gorge! Maybe I could climb away from them!
But wait! Wait a minute! … wait a minute! … wait! … wait! … wait! … wait! … wait! … wait! … wait! … wait! …wait! …. wait …
What … what?
THERE’S A MAGIC DOOR!
BUT NO! --- THERE’S A DOOR! – A MAGIC DOOR!
THERE IS ONE!
A MAGIC DOOR!
I KNOW THERE IS!
THERE’S A MAGIC DOOR!
I CAN JUMP THROUGH IT!
THEY CAN’T FOLLOW ME THROUGH THE MAGIC DOOR!
That’s what I began to think as I was running for my life.
I could think that because my mind had been wiped white by shear fear -- letting "another voice" in. The voice of a "calm Observer."
An insane notion – as if from a guardian spirit – a nature spirit – was telling me of an impossible notion that there was some kind of magic door back up the trail, back where, where … where what?
That’s right – damn it … where I came in!
I ran. My lungs were exploding, every muscle straining. Smudges of red and sparking lights began to crowd out my vision. Oxygen was channeling away from my brain to give all to my legs.
But my pursuers were still catching up – they were chirping their bizarre hunting calls – hoots, and caws, grunts and guttural burps – they sounded like:
“Hooooeeeee --- hunh, hunh, hunh – hooooooeeeeee – uh, uh, uh – yow … yow-yow … yow … yow-yow –hoooeeeee!!!” Hoo-iiip!!! Hooo-iiiip!!!
It was the senseless voice of death – bloody, grimy, sweat-and-urine animalistic death!
I ran – the big rock outcropping loomed before me! the way blocked! Despair!
A shiny thing!
A blurry piece of sunlight revolving -- a whirlpool of light on the cliff side!
It’s the door – the amazing magic door – it must be!
I barreled head-on to the door – I smash my eyes shut – I will ram myself head first into the rock of the cliff and smash my own head.
I bash my body into the sunlight portal on the rock -- and –
I’m floating free!
I’m Ken! Ken again! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken again!
Ha! Ha! What a dumbass!
It was all part of the scenario I had bargained for in the first place!
But --- ahhhhhhhh – to suddenly feel so blissfully cool and weightless and good! You can’t believe the wonderful feeling!
All the heat, the sweat, the stinging perspiration in my eyes, the thorn-scratched skin, the fear, the loathing, the nauseating horror, the stench of blood – instantly replaced with the blissful silence and serenity of the thrumming-fresh carbon-blue star realm! It's so nice.
I turned and looked back at the doorway from which I had just returned, and here I was in for a mild surprise.
When I floated through the doorway, the brass plate on the outside had been engraved with the date 35,000 B.C. – but now it read: 89,771 B.C.
Wow. Apparently I had journeyed further back in time that I had bargained for. Why?
NOTE: There are a number of issues I want to discuss about the implications of this possible reincarnation scenario – such as the true nature of time, and just who I was in this experience – maybe I was actually that poor individual who was beaten to death, and that I had regressed to the time of my death in 89,771 B.C.? – or not -- But I am going to leave all of this discussion aside for now because I don’t want to interrupt my narrative here, and still have two doorways to travel through in this experiment, and I want to tell you about what I encountered inside them first.
Thus, in my next post, I will describe what I find after I enter the Doorway to Year 75 A.D.