Entry posted by Xanthurion2
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I am at a pivotal moment in my life story. It's the moment when all ties to relatives and friends become disconnected and one realizes that one must go out into the dark, scary place that we call "the world". With my pilonidal cyst finally [hopefully] all cleared up and gone for good [now], I am finally able to move on and into the unknown. It's going to be tough, it's going ot be scary, but it's a necessary experience and I know one day, I'll land on my feet and notice that I am living quite comfortably without any help. That moment of realisation is one that I have been longing for because it means that I will finally be my own person, with my own place in the world. The next few weeks will be a challenging time for me. I will have to overcome many of my fears as I learn how to drive, find a job and eventually move out on my own (probably not in that order). After being sidelined for four years, I think I am ready to start living.
So yesterday, my cousin and best friend, who I lived with for four years and knew for many more, has moved out. We were living together with two other cousins, in his mother's house, and he finally decided to leave the nest. An oppurtunity was presented to him and he took it. I am happy for him but there's also a sadness. Because, I know our friendship will change after being seperated for a while. It's been only one day and already the pangs of loneliness are setting upon me. Even though, there are other people in the house, I can not speak to them as openly and comfortably and understandably as I could with him. I am no stranger to loneliness though; I was in virtually the same position before I moved to this place. I had no one I could really talk to. I imagine he feels quite the same way, in fact, he told me so the night before he left. So, I guess we're both in the same boat. Although it's probably worse for him, being in a new place and all.
Anyway, I guess the whole point of this is to reassure myself that, changes happen and sometimes it's good. There may be dark spots, where you feel like you just want to give up and you think you'll never make it, but somewhere there's a light, and holding that light is the hand of fate or salvation or something...I don't know.
Also, I have resumed work on my stories. I was previously on an unintended hiatus, not from writer's block or anything, just laziness I guess. But now I have continued. And the next chapter of Lockdown (temporary title) will be published soon. This chapter is different as it tells all about the mysterious Dr. Haxon. It's sort of a background story of his character. I think I will do these special background chapters every now and then, throughout the story. With other bits fit into the regular chapters. I'm trying to make the story a novel, but I don't think it's going to end up being long enough. So I'm going to try and delve into the backgrounds of the characters more. I already have short versions typed out somewhere so it won't be hard to just expand them a little. As for the other stories, I'm not sure what exactly is going to happen next yet. Perhaps, I'll just start writing and see where the words take me. Yes, that seems like a good idea.
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