Sometimes I am so amazed at the power of the human mind.
I call them movie dreams. But the word dream does not describe the length and detail of them.
Last night's saga was so remarkably long and detailed I feel compelled to share it. Even doing a quick summery is going to be fairly long.
It's started off with me and my family vacationing in New York city. This is rare. For my movie dreams I usually am not me and I even switch characters, but not this time I am myself. We are staying at this large hotel much like a Vegas hotel that has department stores in it.
Quit suddenly I see a very large jet archs by the building turning sideways and I know it's going to crash nearby, in fact so close I know it's going damage the building we are in. At the top of my lungs I scream for every one to drop to the ground and cover their necks and faces. My three boys are close to me, but my wife is not. They are confused at my order and are not acting fast enough, so I am forced to shove them into the ground and put their hands over their faced. I did not have time to do it right all I can do is get them to cover themselves. I'm angry because everyone else is hypnotized by the drama about to explode outside and I know they are all going to get a face full of glass. No one is listening. I also manage to pull a small kyack off a shelf and place it over my boys. It's too small to totally cover them all, but provides some protection. When the explosion happens it's far worse than I thought.
Glass and bits of concrete are raining on us. I throw myself over my children. I get a glance of my three year old desperately trying to cover his face with his little hands before I am totally on top of him. I could have covered them better if I had more time, but all of this is happening in seconds.
Every thing goes black and dusty for a bit, but soon everything is quite for a second then the cries of the injured go up. We are cut up a bit, but ok. I gather my boys up and we find my wife. She is ok also but like us just minor injuries. I start to hear other percussion sounds, so I quickly move my family out of the building. Outside its much worse than I thought. Other explosions are beginning to happen around the city. There is also water rushing into the city. Some sort of apocalyptic event is under way.
Then the strangest thing happens. It is a dream after all. My family and I are transported back in time to our room about twenty minutes before it all starts to happen. It's not just me that remembers. My wife and kids all remember what just or will happen. We are disoriented at first, but I start acting fast. To gather what we will need. There is no time to escape the city and I know chaos is about to unfold. Everyone is crying but I am urgently barking orders at them. It's a very surreal feeling. My last thing I shove in my pocket is my Walther P38. A weapon that my father left me. Not sure why I have it with me as opposed to some of my other weapons, it's a wwII heirloom, but it's what I have. The last thing I do before ushering my family downs stairs is look out the window. I can see the first jet approaching on the horizon. It's almost night and I can see it's running lights.
Anyway. We move to safety as it all starts to unfold again. I'm frightened, but encouraged that somone power had given us the opertunity to be forewarned. But all of this is just the beginning. The weeks and months that unfolds after that was a survival nightmare. I lived through all of it. I can't believe it can fit in my head. I can't possibly tell it all. Everything from avoiding gangs of looters to periodic to tsunami like innundations. Protecting my family was my soul focus while trying to get them to safety. The world was in utter chaos. I even resorted to theft myself of food for my little ones. It's making me tear up as write this. I know for sure that I myself am not above certain things and extreme violence to protect my family.
What a thing to learn about yourself experientially. Its hard to understand and severely humbling. So I guess I will explain a couple of major events.
At one point we were confronted by a gang. With my family behind me I was force to use my weapon. I mostly fired warning shots, but I only had 9 rounds. I did hit one in the leg, but I really did not want to kill anyone. My wife is a very pretty Asian woman and I knew what would happen if I faild. Most of them ran, but one very large thug was on drugs or something. He ended up tackling me. I was now in the struggle of my life. Now I do teach self defense for a living. I have been practicing martial arts for my entire life. ( I own a school). Nearly 20 years of jujitsu payed off emensly. I was able to keep him in my guard ( between my leggs) to fend off the power of his blows. My hands were preoccupied with keeping my weapon away from him. I could not afford to loose, so I pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger. The weapon didn't fire. This is a very old heirloom weapon. I know what happened, some times the magazine will not feed a round into the chamber. It gets stuck, because I really don't shoot this weapon because modern grains are no good for older weapons. As a result I don't oil it that much. Anyway, so now I'm actually field stripping my weapon while fighting this huge guy with only my leggs. The walther comes apart pretty easy, and I was able to dislodge the round and put the weapon back together again, but I was tiring. My legs were wraped around him in what's called a triangle choke, but I did not have my hips right and his upper body was very large. My leggs didn't fit right so he wasn't really being choked. He started to lift me up and slam me down. I had no choice. With the weaponing functioning now I killed him.
I was in shock. But I did not have time to be emotional. I gathered up my family and ran.
Sleeping under bleachers
Catching rats and birds and sifting through the tsunami debri for food or survival items. Joining with others but sometimes they would turn on us.
Avoiding other gangs
Constant search for non contaminated water
Constant threat of more tsunami like inundations. We could never sleep on low grown. It always had to be up high somewhere. So many people had been killed.
It took a very long time to reach more ruel less affected areas. It felt like forever. All my kids and wife were ok if not traumatized.
I remember being relieved to see a convoy of military vehicles. I was in hope that it was finally over. A young soldier as he drove by pitched a large package of food and other items out to me. I put my hand over my heart to express gratitude and he saluted me.
When I woke up I gasped. My wife heard me and just moved close. She knows that my dreams are like this sometimes.... She dosnt even ask.
I find it amazing so much can happen in our minds, but the problem is that I feel like I have lived through this. I feel grateful yet traumatized. I end up dwelling on the experiences for days. It can't be good for me. I will have to redouble my efforts not to remember all of this stuff.
On a side note. I fell asleep again. I dreamed of a news cast of a child drowning in some sort of water main break. I could see it happening though. The workers were working very hard to fix the problem and the child literally drowned right behind them. God I hope it's not going to happen. Sometimes these dreams come true and just hate it. Why the **** would I be shown something like that if its real and not be able to do anything about it. It's very very disturbing when they come true.
I suppose I should just focus on keeping myself sane, I do have a real life to live.
Thanks for listening