So I had the pleasure of giving some tips to a friend seeking a vision. He had read my recent vision quest and decided to perform one of his own. I do not recommend this sort of questing for everyone. This person is unusually connected with nature and has the a strong independent power. Self reliance exsoetiencr is very important with this sort of activity. I thank him for allowing me to post his story. It makes me very proud have Been able to be apart of his journey. You will see ********* in places that I think provide information that might be able to identify him.
Where to start? I guess the begining. Got in by 100, set up camp. Fished for like 2 hours with no luck till the end. Caught a small trout. Plus I found a wild apple tree. I also ripped up some root from some cat tails and make a couple small cakes with it. Talk about good eating, I was starving. First day wasnt so bad. It was already 5 oclock by the time I was sitting in my circle of rocks. Sitting in the dark wasnt as bad as I thought the first night, till it rained. Lucky for me I brought a rain suit. By that morning the doubt had already begun to set in. Fighting sleep was really hard. Id go into these long spells were I was like half awake, half sleep. Knowing I was only a hour walk from home was probably my biggest mistake. The temptation to leave was strong. I litteraly imagined That my families life was at risk if I didnt stay put.
And here comes night #2. I laughed as I remembered your story, how your back and ass were killing you. I knew exactly how you felt. By this time the temptation to leave was countered by the feeling that I had come to far to stop now. All this would have been for nothing. Those 2 forces were interupted only by every single noise that came through the camp. Which honestly the second night scared the hell outta me several times. I fell asleep that night several times. But never for more then a couple mins I was sure. Cause even with those small naps the night went on forever.
I had a couple hours were I became numb to everything. I didnt worry about being hungry, or sleep deprived. It was like I was in a dream, but still awake, if that makes any sence. All the feelings came rushing back, and I began to get seriously depressed. I felt like a prisoner in a self made prison. Just when I thought Id surely break, the first sign of light came over the valley.
The sun is an amazing life line in those moments. But by noonish that day even my ego tryed to convince myself that I had had enough. Thoughts of how proud I was that I had made it that far, and that I really had nothing more to prove kept stirring in my mind.
No screw that, way to close now.
Oh I forgot to tell ya, soon as the sun came half way up that morning, I watched this huge flat faced owl fly nice and slow over my camp, and landed in a tree. I hadnt seen one of those in these parts since I was a kid. We locked eyes and in my sorry state, at least in my head, we seemed to have a understanding. He looked at me as if to say, 'almost there friend, you will be in your bed by this time tomorrow'. But by mid morning I wasnt even sure if that had really happened.
That afternoon was the hardest part. I began to question why I was even there. Did I really wanna be chased through the woods by demonic teens? Or whatever the spirits had in store for me? From there my thoughts became irrational. What if I died? What if they kill me? Seeker said they couldnt really harm me, but how does he really know? Could he really know for sure? Thats it Im leaving. Then another part of me came to the top. No I will stay. Whatever happens happens. I never cared much for being alive anyway. Basicaly came to the conclusion that I spent to long making this bed not to lay in it. In my sleep deprived state, I was even able to push away thoughts on how others were depending on me.
All these thoughts came inbetween small naps that I had no power to stop. They never lasted long though cause by then my back was in serious pain. Waiting for the sun to go down was the longest few hours of my life. Just as the sun was on the horizon, I just couldnt sit there anymore. I camped right next to a small trout stream Id been fishing in all my life. I litteraly crawled to the stream to wet my head. I half expected something to happen then, like in your story, but nothing out of the ordinary happened. I crawled back to my circle, now thinking this was gonna be a total waste of time. I actually felt some releaf that I came to that conclusion. This would be a nailing of my flesh to my personal cross. Denie the flesh to build the spirit. Christ did this all the time I said to myself. Then next thing I know it was dark.
Not sure how long it was dark, when my body decided it wasnt going to stay awake anymore no matter what I thought about it. I fell over several times. Hit my head on the rocks twice. It must have been a few hours in the dark when I fell asleep for the last time.
Next thing I know, behind closed eyes, I hear what sounds like someone walking twards me. Am I dreaming this? No, suddenly Im not even tired anymore, or in pain. Who ever was walking twards me is standing right in front of me now. I can feel them. I open my eyes, now terrified at what I might see.
There before me is a slim looking American indian looking women. She is beautifull. Just like in a movie, feather in her hair and all. She is standing like 10 feet from me, and when she see's I have opened my eyes she begins to yell at me. She is seriously p***ed and I cant understand a word she is saying. I wasnt affraid, cause at first she kept her distance. Then suddenly she gets quiet, and a very serious look comes over her face, and she slowly starts walking twards me.
It was as though she had made a decision, and it wasnt in my favor. Oh ****, here we go. Im gonna die in my self made prison. She gets about 5 feet from me when I stand up to run. As I get to my feet, I lean on the only source I know for protection. Dear Lord were the only words that came outta my mouth when my circle of rocks lights on fire. I had seen this fire one other time, in a lucid dream, or a OOB experiance (I never figured out which it was) I didnt know what to think at first. Didnt know if I caused the fire for protection, or if she did to trap me. I look at her, she comes right up to the circle. She couldnt get through. Of course. This fire had protected me the last time I saw it. Cleansed my home even.
I sit back down. I concentrate on keeping the fire alive. she is circling me, outraged. Again she is screaming at me, and again I cant understand her. Even with my wall of fire, she is terrifying me. I close my eyes, still seeing the glow of the fire through my eye lids. Im trying to end the experiance, when I hear this horrible growl, slow and steady right next to my ear. Oh God what now. Something is in the circle with me. Some horrible beast. I slowly open my eyes, expecting the worst. Its a Dog, standing right next to me. Looks like my dog, a *******. Not only this, but the dog isnt growling at me, its growling at her.
Just when I felt this might end well, my fire begins to fade. And she knows it. She is litteraly laughing at me. The dog starts going crazy. No longer just growling, but is giving this women full warning of his/her imminent attack. Barking and growling like crazy.
My fire is gone.
Alittle more then arms length away right in front of me she says, "what will you do now"? She doesnt seem to be bothered by the dog at all. Before I could say this dog was here to protect me, she reaches out her hand, and the dog comes right up to her and sits down, clearly looking for her attention. Oh ****, Im in for it now. Time to run. I go to get on my feet when she dives on top of me laughing, and pins me to the ground. Suddenly Im not as affraid. She really is just a women. She feels like a women, only has the strength of a women. I kinda playfully struggle with her, about to toss her off, when she leans down and kisses me. Like a deep passionate kiss. I felt powerless to stop her. I wanted to kiss her too. Which made me sad.
So then she breaks the kiss and looks at me. Then she says to me, "what have you learned"? I say to her, I dont know. And she smiles, but has a look of half dissapointment and says, thats a shame.
Next thing I know It had to be around 330 in the morning, it was over.I started walking outta the woods. Was home in an hour, and came right here to tell you about it. I was way to tired though. Was in and outta sleep all day yesterday, and finnaly woke up semi recovered this morning.
I dont know if you can help me figure that one out, but I sure hope you can, cause Im left baffled by the experiance.
Wow though, I'll be damned, I will never forget that night.