In my last entry I was explaining how I have been seeking spiritual things, not found in the church. In the same way I dove head first into the church, hungry for information, and refused to even slow down till I thought I had learned all there was to know on any given biblical subject, so to am I in these other teachings. I must confess, as much as Im learning, and as much as I see true value, and even obvious truth in what Im seeing, I cant help but to continue to look for the "lion in the grass". ( I stole that phrase from White Crane Feather) Even so I am so delighted in what Ive found. Its reemerged the same feelings I had when I first discovered Christ, and his undying love. And the wall that I built in my head, separating Christ with these new to me lessons, is being taken down a brick at a time. Its as if im being taught the same biblical teachings from another point of view. And its helping me cast light on long lingering shadows.
For instance, today for the first time in my life, I really understood that its ok to love yourself. To go further, its imperative. Ive spent my entire spiritual life believing that to be humble means you have to spend vast amounts of time berating, and correcting yourself. Beating yourself over the head continuously. And in turn, its left me truly believing that I had no self worth. How did I let them beat me into this corner? Well I guess it wasn't to hard. I spend most of my life before Christ not thinking very much of myself. Well in truth, I down right hated myself. I don't know what came first, the chicken or the egg, but others didn't think very well of me either growing up. Especially my Father. Anyhow, when I first heard, today, that you must love yourself, I instantly fell back on my biblical knowledge. Instead of finding this teaching to be wrong, I found it to be just the simple truth. I took out of context passages like 'there is no good in me, but he who dwells in me' and several other passages that could lead one to believe they have no self worth. Instead though my mind settled the whole issue with a single story told by Christ that says you are like a treasure buried in a field. And when you were discovered, the person who did went and sold all he had to buy the land, cause you were move valuable to him then all he had otherwise. If he loves me that much, is it wrong for me to see the same value in myself that he see's in me?
So just as I had to tell everyone I knew of the love of Christ when I first understood it. I now tell you to love yourself as well. Retrain your mind to believe it by complementing yourself, all day long. Everyday. At first your subconscious will reject it because this idea is foreign to you. But over time the idea will become familiar, and your mind will allow it to manifest into your reality. If you are like I was, full of self doubt, this can change your life. BTW if you cant find anything to complement yourself for, then complement yourself for the things you are not doing to help you start. I mean, you didn't murder anyone today right? God Bless folks. Thanks for taking the time.