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preacherman76's Blog

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What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks?

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Tis the east, and Jennifer (my Juliet ; ) is the sun.

Hey guys. Last time I was talking about how I discovered the absolute imperative need for one to love themselves. That I had spent a great deal of my spiritual walk in a intentional struggle with myself. For the most part I raised the white flag, and have given up the fight of self loathing. I have only just begun to realize the implications. It amazes me just how much ones perceptions can change from such a different point of view. Ive heard it said that you cant truly love anyone, till you love yourself. Speaking from first hand I can tell you that that isn't true. There are people I would lay down my life for, even back when I didn't love myself at all. However, I will say this. When you can think highly of yourself, not through ego, but just through love, you begin to see others in a different light as well. At least this has been my experience thus far.

I was looking at my wife last night as she lay asleep on the couch after a long day. I couldn't help but to think to myself what a beautiful creature of God she is. How lucky I was to have her, and how amazed I was that not only did she chose me, but has honorably kept that commitment for the better part of 12 years. I was able to recognize not that I love her, but how deep I so do. She has also given me 2 incredible boys. Seems to me before, I just kinda went through the motions, did what I had to do with a smile on my face. And I didn't even realize it. Now I treat each day with them like its a gift, knowing one day I will have to let them go.

Not only this, but I now treat nearly every encounter I have looking for the small piece of God that dwells within whom ever Im speaking. What would have once been just a small insignificant chat with a cashier is now another example in the amazing creativity of our maker. I want to know who they are, and what roll they play on this gigantic cosmic stage.

Even the night sky provokes the deepest wonder in me again, like it did when I was young and I humbly stand in awe. What the hell is happening to me?

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