Falco's Forum Romanum

Your wisdom has enightened me.... But please tell me.... What is the answer that has no question?

That would be called a statement if I remember my English classes. Or maybe Richard Nixon..or 42.

75 pounds of roast turkey are consumed by a longshoreman named Neil in a bathroom off interstate 40, halfway between Henrietta and Lawton. How many times can he count to ten before losing control of his colon?

I can always count on Snuffs to try and trick me..The answer is none; because Neil has no control over his colon. Neither does anybody else. What he might lose control over of is his sphincter muscle. Then the consequences would be grave indeed for the poor folks who have to clean that bathroom..

Sorry about the serious answer here, I'll do better next time..

Okay then Mr. Smarty pants. How many kitchen magnets, bought in bulk and shipped overnight from Uraquay, would it take to reverse the moon's gravitational pull, and would we in fact have to name the resulting device Betty?

I've got my work cut out for me here..It would only take one magnet to reverse the moons gravitational pull, assuming the magnet weighed several hundred thousand tons and was the size of a city. So I doubt it would happen as shipping costs from Uruguay would be astounding. You know how those people like to price-gouge us. Lousy stinking Uruguay..Don't even get me started on them..

Where was I ? Oh yeah..If such a magnet was made surely it would be called..you guessed it..Star Jones!

Okay, you got me on that one. Here's a tough one. Name three people I've pictured naked since three o'clock pm, eastern standard time, in descending order according to the number of times said subject has been pictured naked.

Am I allowed to do that? At least one of them is a UM member. I'm not sure if that counts as harassment or not...

But the other two are..

1. Britney Spears

and

2. John Tesh..Why Snuffy!? Why??

I'm gonna take that secret to my grave, Falco. Only John Tesh and I know the truth.

What is the answer for question 35?

The answer is 1 in 12..You have a 1/12 chance of rolling a 5 on a six-sided die and then flipping a coin so it lands heads up..

..confused..Good.

but what does that have to do with how high pickeled eggs can bounce?

Elementary my dear Dot. If you know the odds you can reliably roll the dice and flip the coin so it lands on heads. Thus causing you to win the bet at the bar. Which will force your opponents to try and bounce a pickled egg 2 feet in the air to recoup thier money..however pickled eggs can only be bounced with enough force to lift them one foot in the air before they rupture. therefore you will win twice the money..

..Use this knowledge wisely.