Dreams and Proper Behavior
Last night I had a dream of cats using unusual transportation devices. I can't quite remember what these devices were, though. Of course, we all know that in our waking reality cats generally use small bicycles to get around. That's not news or worth dreaming about. If I dreamed about cats bicycling down the sidewalk in front of my house, as they usually do, that dream would disappoint me. Who wants to dream about the ordinary? Nobody. Because ordinary is not interesting, especially in dreams.
So, tonight I hope I have another dream about something out of the ordinary and interesting. If I do, I hope I can remember it. It's frustrating having an interesting dream hovering dimly on the edge of awareness, just beyond the edge of recall. I think these kinds of dreams are like something balanced precariously above the edge of the event horizon of a black hole, just before they totter and disappear into the dreaded singularity forever.
I think in these cases of not-quite-grasp-able dreams, these dreams remain wispy and just out of reach on purpose. They teeter on the cusp of awareness, mocking us because dreams, having a life of their own, and therefore being basically spiteful (as all living things are), enjoy teasing and tormenting us in this way. I think dreams are alive entities that never really disappear forever, as we may think they do. When they are finished arrogantly parading themselves around before us in our sleeping unconsciousness, they seclude themselves somewhere in some obscure corner of our mind, and have a jolly good time gathered together, telling each other how they've made fools of us into believing they were real events in our sleep.
Now, I'm not sure which is worse, some other person (or mischievous dream) making a fool of me, or me making a fool of myself. I have a sort of mental Safety Valve, though, that I can use in these situations. For instance, when I seem to make a fool of myself in front of someone, I can always stand steadfastly, straight-faced and righteous, pretending the seemingly stupid thing I just did was not stupid at all, but was appropriate and proper behavior, and it is the people laughing at me who are the fools for not recognizing proper behavior when they see it.
It is my opinion that others generally don't recognize proper behavior when they do see it. Especially my proper behavior. This is hard for me to understand. I think others see each other as little copies of themselves, and when one of these other copies does something that does not match the image the original copy has of itself, it is taken aback or upset by this unexpected discrepancy.
It would be much better if other people just accepted other people's behavior and just went on with their own business. I have learned to accomplish this myself by mostly ignoring people other than myself. I think this is a good idea. This way, I'm not bothered or annoyed by what other people do or say. Usually I don't even notice when other people are around me, and in these circumstances I believe they don't notice me either. This attitude is sort of like having an Invisibility Cloak.
This ignoring thing is a great convenience when, for instance, I'm standing in line with some obnoxious person in a department store or something, or when someone is trying to argue with me. The arguer is not really arguing with me at all because in a sense I'm not really there. That other person is just shooting his mouth off at no one in particular. Now, this behavior a sign of mental illness. Arguing at someone who isn't actually there is a bad habit for someone to get into. These kinds of people should be locked up in some institution for their own good.
I would be in favor of locking people up in mental institutions who annoy me if this were possible. I think this is another good Idea I have. Of course, I would be safe from this fate because I never annoy anyone. As I say, my behavior is almost always proper (or I make it seem so), so it's always them who stray over the edge to impropriety, not me.
If on occasion I do wobble a bit, I can always use my Safety Valve. Or in extreme cases my Invisibility Cloak. This way, even though I may occasionally tip a little over the edge, my slightly inaccurate behavior appears to be correct, or I'm not really there to have behaved in a slightly inaccurate way at all.
As the appearance of correct behavior is more important than actual correct behavior, I feel secure using these tools. I am confident I can continue to sail easily and smoothly through the waters of the rest of my life, no matter how stormy others try to make my voyage.