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talking to myself

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Intolerable Human Situations







Intolerable Human Situations
(What to say, what to do?)

Give Me the full attention of your heart—the ear of your heart—and I will speak to you.1 I will show you the way in which you are to walk and I will give you My light about the things that weigh upon you, or sadden you, or perplex you.2 Bring everything to Me and I will give you in exchange My grace and My love. It is fear more than anything else that prevents you from coming into My presence with confidence, with hope, and with a quiet heart. With Me and from Me you have nothing to fear. ---Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart
--The Journal of a Priest at Prayer (Kindle Location 1893). Angelico Press. Kindle Edition.


A good friend called me up the other day.  He just got word that a beloved friend’s son had committed suicide.  Sad to say, not an uncommon event in our world.  He was torn up by this and did not know what to say to his friend when he will talk to him.  It is a human situation that seems impossible, intolerable, with no answer on how to deal with it. 

As he talked, I began to think of the times in my life when I was going through a time of deep, inner, emotional pain.  Yes, a common human situation.  I do know that at the time of my suffering, both for loss of a loved one, or some other inner emotional pain.  The last thing I wanted to hear is some pious saying that is used with good intent, but does not address the issue.  How do I get through this moment, this hour, and this day?  I have had friends who simply sat with me, saying nothing.  This helped.   I believe they could do that because they had gone through such experiences and did not feel the need to run from being with me in silence, by some saying (reduced to a cliché), which while perhaps true, is not what was needed. 

I do believe that God truly tents with us.  When we are in pain, God, because revealed as love, feels what we feel, yet remains with us in silence.   Silence, being perhaps the most intimate of unions.  We are also meant to stay in silence when are emotionally drained.  The grace of Jesus Christ is real, yet we have to let go of fear, anger, and bitterness, in order to feel it on a deep level.  Even in the settling of pain, and other deep emotions, that keep us in deep agitation, God’s grace is present drawing us forward.

The reality is that we are pilgrims.  We are here for a short time.  What we experience today, no matter how painful, or horrible, passes, all we need do (a very dreadful experience) is to wait on the Lord amidst the inner raging sea, without fear.  This is a choice that flows from grace…that is never withdrawn.  God’s love, is grace, and we are called to trust in the midst of darkness, the pain, and the fear, and step out over the pathless path, that we all must face in our lives at one time or another.  For some, it is their whole life. 

Our faith is not a way to escape life, but allows us to face it squarely, not fearing what we are going through, to even embrace our pain so as to allow the grace and healing of Jesus to work in our hearts.   I do not understand much.  However, the more I experience God’s grace, the closer I draw to Jesus, the more I understand that what God is about is greater than any human interpretation of the Christian mystery.  Again, we are told not to judge for a reason, we are usually wrong and it points back to ourselves. 

To be childlike is to be open, receptive, hoping against hope, praying for the greatest spiritual gift, which is love.  For love, hopes in all things.-Br.MD



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Marco M. Pardi


I've long advocated the substitution of the word PERFORM for the word COMMIT when referring to suicide. Granted, commitment etc. turns up in a variety of contexts, but COMMIT is most commonly associated with a criminal act.  I do not accept the idea, nor does the legal system anymore, that suicide is a criminal act. It can be tragic, for which we grieve and try to understand.  It can be loving, as in knowingly giving one's life for another or in relieving a family of the ongoing heartbreak of a horrible and incurable condition. In any case, I advocate decriminalizing it by not using the word COMMIT. 

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