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talking to myself

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You can’t stop it, so get over it

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markdohle

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You can’t stop it, so get over it, live your life

I do not mind aging for myself,
(though in my friends, well I do not like it,
they're getting older)
in any case, it cannot be stopped,
little bits here and there reduced or lost,
and body parts once taken for granted
have to be attended to because of pain,
energy levels lower and by 3 PM,
well, let us say, I do get by,

I read and doze off, then read again,
my eyes work better on some mornings than others,
quite a litany, so common, those lucky enough
who have moved on into the elderly world,
know what I am talking about living so long.

I enjoy small things more than when younger,
forced to be mindful of how I walk or climb up stairs,
actually not a bad development, living in that moment,
I treasure this life now more than when young,
for I can see the exit, though I hope
it is still down the way before I have to get off.

Brakes cannot be applied on my journey,
being a pilgrim has its good points,
but one has to keep moving,
our ride, mother time, makes sure of that.

Here, in this world, I can choose for the most part
on how to select, what to do, how to react,
or to love in the midst of outer chaos
mixed with on certain days, inner anxiety,
about the sky falling, the floor opening up,
yet both never happen, so that helps to remember.

Faith is an art I believe, a way of saying yes,
without demanding some sort of the impossible,
some absolute proof or another,
this is a life of unknowing when it comes
to the more important questions,
yet faith is a key that keeps the soul and heart open.

I fail often in all the same ways, but I hope,
and am always beginning again a million times,
yet I feel God’s 7 X 70 mercy always,
and I hope with grace to share it with others,
by allowing grace to expand my heart,
which is still stone like in some ways,
but I can feel the chisel of grace,
so hope is always there, as well as
my final stop which is approaching at ever faster speeds,
so I love each day more than when younger,
and am just fine and would not want to be younger.
And I am grateful that I can I can simply be a pilgrim—Br.MD

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