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talking to myself

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Love your enemies...Really!?!

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markdohle

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Love your enemies. Really!?!

When we get it, we lose it,
gods can be messy beings,
just us in bigger form,
best to let it go and love the mystery.

 

When I read the Scriptures, both the Old and the New Testament, I have more in common with what is going on in the time before Christ.  When I read the words of Jesus, especially the Sermon on the Mount, and on the Plain, I will often feel lost.  I read it, ponder it, pray about it, yet I know that I still don’t get it, or to put it in a better way, my heart is too small to absorb the living waters. 

Love your enemies. Really!?!  Do good, to those who abuse me, steal from me!  All righty then!  Now when I read about David, Saul, Moses, who were men of God….I get them.  I can see myself like Moses, killing someone and burying the body in the sand.  Or David, in a fit of lust, getting rid of the husband, if I had the power, so I could ‘own’ the wife…….thank God I do not have that kind of power.  Or Moses, doubting God’s Word.  My heart is like theirs, and they were men of God, much more so than I am, or perhaps ever will be.  Or Saul, knowing better than God, what is the best thing to do.

I get Jonah, who became angry because God did not destroy thousands of men, women, and children, for his entertainment, as he watched from a safe distance, waiting for God to do what he (Jonah), would do, kill them, damn them, tortured them.  Yet, God said, how can I desire the death of those who do not know their right hand, from their left?   They are just like me, these people of Nineveh, I am often confused and in a fog, wandering through a life that often makes no sense to me.  Reacting, not responding, and being asleep.

To love my neighbor as myself.  Not sure I love myself.  Yet I am commanded to do so.  How does that happen?  The self-love that Jesus talks about, that leads to the love of others, is not something I have seen in many Christians, let alone in myself.   I pray for this kind of love, and I believe that each day grace is bringing me closer to that reality…..until then, I stumble along, in hope, and the desire to be free of myself. 

Christians (well me) can be racist, abusers, adulterers, cheats, murderers, corrupt, blind to their own faults, and yet get prissy when they hear about the ‘sin’ of someone else, who does not sin in the way they do.  I find it easy to get angry over people who are weak in areas that I am not, but easy on those who are like me……though one can always be a hypocrite, and pretend to be upset.  Yes, we are a mess, but a mess, a chaotic mess, loved by God.  Now that is the mystery.

We are loved, no matter what, everyone, without exception.  When talking about being ‘lost’, we each have our own ideas about that.  The more lost, as long as it is someone else, the better, for that way I can be special!  Well, what if every human being is special, and loved by God the way we are or hope to be.  How do we process that?  How do we get our hearts to expand, to become more human, and to not fear the pain that comes with being vulnerable, the way Christ Jesus was, and still is.

I guess the answer is……we wait.  We pray, we hope, and we love anyway, even if we don’t always feel it, we can at least begin to understand that the person before us, the messy, smelly, obnoxious, or the beautiful, rich intelligent, funny, human, shows us, Christ Jesus. 

 

Really!  Yes really!!

So where am I?  Still trying to get it, pray about it, get up when I fall, and just live the day, and not worry about the morrow.  I do believe that we are all in the palm of God’s hands, no matter what many in my faith try to tell me otherwise.  Jesus is a true revelation of God’s Infinite love, and it will always be that, no matter how many walls we try to put up around this truth, or like Jonah, on some level, really want to be entertained by the death and destruction of those ‘hated’ by God.  The problem is, no one is hated by God, but only loved……now what do we do with that?  Still working on that, but grace works deeper and in secret, in that is our hope, the unrelenting love of God as shown us in Christ Jesus.

Well, it gives me hope for myself and in that for everyone.  Get through the day, or this moment, seeking to do the most loving thing to what is before me.  If that is sought, well ones inner life will slowly fall into place, because the seeking after love, is a response to graces inviatation.—Br.MD


 

 

 


 

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Those who are my enemies do not deserve compassion, they deserve to suffer as they have made me suffer. 

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I too, struggle within to love my enemies.   It's very easy to close my heart to those who have wronged me and hurt me.   It's much harder to leave my heart open and to love them.   Yet that is what Christ commands us to do.  So I continue to pray, meditate on God's words and let Him work through me.  I am far from perfect and I will be continually working on that until my last moment here on earth.   Thank you for the gentle reminder that we all have some struggles in our lives.  :)   

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markdohle

Posted (edited)

XenoFishsaid:  Those who are my enemies do not deserve compassion, they deserve to suffer as they have made me suffer.  

I understand.  So what you are saying is that you also deserve to suffer for what you have done to others?  Is there anyone, or more than one person you have hurt, at least according to their experience with you.  So they should exact revenge, or wish bad for you?.  We all do hurtful, even evil things to others, it is only when it happens to us that we see how serious it is.  Not being hard on you, I have done hurtful things to others.

Peace
Mark

Edited by markdohle
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tcgram said: I too, struggle within to love my enemies.   It's very easy to close my heart to those who have wronged me and hurt me.   It's much harder to leave my heart open and to love them.   Yet that is what Christ commands us to do.  So I continue to pray, meditate on God's words and let Him work through me.  I am far from perfect and I will be continually working on that until my last moment here on earth.   Thank you for the gentle reminder that we all have some struggles in our lives.  :)    

Well said.  Over time we learn, we just need to be open, the Lord will over time stretch our heart in its ability to forgive, love, and to understand.  The reward of love is to love more.  The punishment of hatred is to simply hate evermore deeply.

 

Peace
mark

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XenoFish

Posted (edited)

8 minutes ago, markdohle said:

XenoFishsaid:  Those who are my enemies do not deserve compassion, they deserve to suffer as they have made me suffer.  

I understand.  So what you are saying is that you also deserve to suffer for what you have done to others?  Is there anyone, or more than one person you have hurt, at least according to their experience with you.  So they should exact revenge, or wish bad for you?.  We all do hurtful, even evil things to others, it is only when it happens to us that we see how serious it is.  Not being hard on you, I have done hurtful things to others.

Peace
Mark

The only point to my existence is to suffer. My very existence is a sin unto the world. I was taught earlier that I should hate myself as god hates me. No amount of good that I could ever do shall redeem it. 

Edited by XenoFish

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markdohle

Posted (edited)

Quote

XenoFish Said: The only point to my existence is to suffer. My very existence is a sin unto the world. I was taught earlier that I should hate myself as god hates me. No amount of good that I could ever do shall redeem it

Why in the world would you believe that bucket of sh-t!  It is not true, your worth comes from your simple, unique humanity.  I like you very much, and respect you, as I am sure many do here.   Come on, life can be better than what you have chosen to believe........perhaps God does love you, or God does love you, embrace that reality and go from there.  Then talk back to those voices who say you are no good, worthless, etc.

 

peace
mark

Edited by markdohle
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@markdohle... If you didn't read my topic about emotional vampires, then maybe you should:

 

 

I think it's important to be realistic here.

I feel love for humanity, but I don't like how some people behave, and I won't let anybody abuse me or others!

So, my heart is there, but it's a smart heart.

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21 hours ago, markdohle said:

Why in the world would you believe that bucket of sh-t!  It is not true, your worth comes from your simple, unique humanity.  I like you very much, and respect you, as I am sure many do here.   Come on, life can be better than what you have chosen to believe........perhaps God does love you, or God does love you, embrace that reality and go from there.  Then talk back to those voices who say you are no good, worthless, etc.

 

peace
mark

Because that is the little whisper in the back of my mind that was given to me by my Christian grandmother. The seed that was sown in my mind has made me who I am. I can not see god as loving. One of the many reason I practiced magick, because it was considered a sin and since I was going to hell for existing anyway, why not. Not that I have ever had anything like "God loves me" every happen. I've made my life through hard work. Trying to prove a lot to myself. Telling a 5 year old that they are a stain on humanity and taking out anger on them through physical abuse leaves a lot of scars. I made sure my children didn't become me. 

15 hours ago, LightAngel said:

If you didn't read my topic about emotional vampires, then maybe you should:

Yes, because labeling emotionally damaged people is what folks like you do the best.

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Helen of Annoy

Posted

31 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Because that is the little whisper in the back of my mind that was given to me by my Christian grandmother. The seed that was sown in my mind has made me who I am. I can not see god as loving. One of the many reason I practiced magick, because it was considered a sin and since I was going to hell for existing anyway, why not. Not that I have ever had anything like "God loves me" every happen. I've made my life through hard work. Trying to prove a lot to myself. Telling a 5 year old that they are a stain on humanity and taking out anger on them through physical abuse leaves a lot of scars. I made sure my children didn't become me. 

Yes, because labeling emotionally damaged people is what folks like you do the best.

Believe it or not, we're all damaged to some extent. 

And to be honest, you really do complain a lot :D But it's good, actually. You are telling here that, what you still need to say to your grandmother. I know the feeling. I still argue with people long dead and never forgiven. I can't even say I'm honestly working on forgiving them. I'm still too angry :lol:

But I don't blame the higher power, quite contrary, I believe - I feel it very strongly - that That, what we call God, gives me means and strength to discover myself through experience of this life.   

In my opinion, you building your own life through your own hard work, your ability to understand the source of your pain and to shape yourself according to your own free will, not some grandmother's illness, shows obviously that God does love you. 

   

 

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11 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

God does love you. 

While the idea of god might give you strength and meaning in life. It terrifies me. 

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Helen of Annoy

Posted

53 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

While the idea of god might give you strength and meaning in life. It terrifies me. 

Not just the idea. The actual strength. Actual little 'coincidences' that are not coincidental at all, the actual connection between people (and animals!) who care about each other... it's all higher power manifesting itself so we can notice it too. Including you and me talking, what more of a miracle could we ask for? We can talk, explain what's going on inside our heads to each other! 

Of course, it's so natural so we don't usually stop to think how miraculous it really is. 

I understand the idea of god can terrify you because of your *adjective* grandmother, but you're smarter and stronger than holding on to her perverted image of god. We don't know what made her the way she was, but she was wrong. Completely wrong. She shaped her image of god after her own disease. The Universe is - of course - indescribably more than that. 

 

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Sorry Helen. I'm afraid my bleak view of life has taken to strong a hold over me. I wish it wasn't so. I wish I could go back to being more of an optimistic realist. But I can't. I've tried. The abyss always drags me back. I can't remember what happy feels like.

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Helen of Annoy

Posted

13 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Sorry Helen. I'm afraid my bleak view of life has taken to strong a hold over me. I wish it wasn't so. I wish I could go back to being more of an optimistic realist. But I can't. I've tried. The abyss always drags me back. I can't remember what happy feels like.

A silly question - have you ever asked yourself could it be that you're truly content only when you're unhappy? 

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2 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

A silly question - have you ever asked yourself could it be that you're truly content only when you're unhappy? 

I'm content when I'm neutral. I don't like looking on the brightside of things because that creates an expectation, I honestly don't like looking at things pessimistically, because that kills motivations. When I look at things 'as is', I seem to feel more content. Then again that realist standpoint seems pessimistic. I just get so sick of hearing how I should be happy and look on the bright side, all rainbows, sunshine, and sparkly kitty cat farts.

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Helen of Annoy

Posted

5 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I'm content when I'm neutral. I don't like looking on the brightside of things because that creates an expectation, I honestly don't like looking at things pessimistically, because that kills motivations. When I look at things 'as is', I seem to feel more content. Then again that realist standpoint seems pessimistic. I just get so sick of hearing how I should be happy and look on the bright side, all rainbows, sunshine, and sparkly kitty cat farts.

Well, there's your problem. Extremes. No one's happy all the time. And cat farts stink too :D But I dare you not to laugh when a cat does fart. Or a dog. I knew a dog who was a fart factory... but I digressed. 

You can't be happy on demand, duh. 

But you shouldn't be afraid to have some mild expectations. I'm not much different than you, always ready for the worst. And I mean, the worst. Sky falling and stuff. But I do hope for the best.

Of course, it's usually somewhere in between those extremes. And then it's my choice if I'm going to be happy with the catastrophe avoided or unhappy with the perfection missed again.

Which brings me back to matters of faith. We do have free will. Always. It's where all this crap comes from, I'd say, from immature minds that choose to generate crap instead of constructive and pleasant things.    

 

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Yes, you should love your enemies. It confuses the hell out of them and allows you to dispatch them with ease.

And the surprised look on their faces will make you giggle. :)

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