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talking to myself

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A simple very powerful Near Death Experience


markdohle

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A simple but very powerful Near Death Experience
(my time with a retreatant)

“What could ever harm you? You are God’s child and Christ is your brother. Isn’t that a wellspring of joy? Escape from yourself. Forget all earthly cares. Return unceasingly into the eternal womb that bore you. Give yourself to the Spirit. He will quicken you. He will interpret you to the Father. You can’t understand this; so knowing that you know nothing, give yourself all the same, and the smaller you are the more the Spirit will exalt you. Go over your deficiencies. You would like to fly and you do not even know how to walk. “Then hold out your arms and the Spirit will take hold of you.”

Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 3574-3578).
Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition.

I have spoken a few times on how powerful, and yes, humbling, it is for me to sit down and talk with the men, and women, who come here for retreat.  When people share, and truly listen to each other, the reality of the uniqueness of the ‘other’ becomes ever more apparent. 

This week there was a retreatant here for a four day retreat.  The name of the retreat was “Too Deep for Words”.  It was given by Jackie R., and our Br. Elias.  It was based, more or less, on his book, “The Tears of an Innocent God”. 

The man’s name was Thomas, and he has given me permission to write about what he shared with me. 

While it is true, that life is very hard, I believe, for everyone, and that none of us knows the future, and that future will be very difficult at different times in life, and sad to say, there is no escape from that reality.  No one is spared from the “Outrageous Fortunes” of life.  So how are we protected by the love of God?  Not an easy question.  Also, not one I can answer, or give it justice, even if I tried.  Yet, I do feel that we are protected from deep harm to our souls.  Some believe that our lives are not just about physical survival, but there is also a spiritual battle that is going on, and is borne out in people’s lives through personal experiences. 

When I sat down with Thomas, and he was sharing his life with me, I was impressed by his balance, his deep spirituality, and humility.  I felt truly, that he was teaching me.  I meet many who are far ahead of me in the spiritual life, and love to converse with them.   Towards the end of our meeting, he brought up that at one time, not too long in the past, he was heavily addicted to drugs, to opioids, in fact.   He mentioned that it cost him his marriage, though at this time, he does have a good relationship with his children, and a cordial one with his ex-wife. 

He shared that he was brought back from dying from an overdose, four times in fact, over a short period of time.  Then, he died, during the fifth overdose.  His body was found in the bathroom of his home.  During this time he had a very simple, straightforward NDE, not much fuss, nor meeting of anyone, no deceased family members coming to greet him.  When he died, he felt himself leaving his body, and then he saw this flash of light.  He knew then that he died.  He continued that he called out to God, and said, please don’t take me now, it is too soon, please take my addiction away from me.  Then he woke up, and saw the EMT’s, working on him.  He was taken to the hospital.  They took his blood to find out what he overdosed with.  To everyone’s surprise, as well as his, he came back clean.  There was no trace of drugs in his system.   After that he told me, he never desired to take drugs again.  It transformed his life.  Now he knows that the meaning of life is to love and help others.  Not to try to escape it.

Was he protected?  Well, not from his beginning his addiction, nor the loss of his marriage, but on the level that matters more than anything else, his soul was protected.  When he called out, it must have been from the depths of his heart, and he was healed, restored, and regained his family, though still divorced.  He has a good apostolate, and also makes good money which he uses to help others. 

I do believe that at the time of death, all are given the choice to be called late in life, to a loving, trusting, relationship with God.  He was able to accept, and he was also healed because he was ready for it, there were no obstacles to God’s healing love.  We have to open our hearts and minds to the grace that is always offered.  It is a freely given grace, brought at a grace price.

Like in the parable of the Prodigal Son, the Father of lights, as revealed in Jesus Christ, waits for each of us to return.  When that happens, we are picked up and embraced. Any, and all, who call on the Lord will be heard and as Infinite Mercy has shown them, they are loved.  Those who don’t, it is a choice that is free, deliberate, and sad to say, eternal. 

Only God knows each heart.  From this man’s story, no one is outside of God’s mercy.  So to pray for all, is often to pray that when they come to their own deaths, that there is a small flame of love there that the Holy Spirit can increase. 

We should never lose hope.  It takes courage to stay on the path when it is filled with many falls and starting over.  Yet humility grows in our falls, and grace lift us up, all we need do is to open up our arms to the Spirit, just like Thomas did.—Br.MD

 

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