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Mary

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My mom

marymiller106

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Hi, to anyone that may read this. My mom passed away in June. There have been strange things happening since just before her bday on Nov 3. I thought I've been crazy and not thinking right. But tonight something happened that I can not explain. Please help me.



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Ok. Just before her birthday things started to be in different places in the house. Dog leash on the fridge etc. Just out of place.... The lights come on when we are both in bed. When I'm napping and my husband comes to check on me our dog is sitting in his spot staring at the corner of the room not moving. But yesterday, a coin we lost 2 yrs ago was on the floor beside the plant from her funeral. Ok, I feel crazy for thinking i don't know ..... 

 

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Not A Rockstar

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Hi Mary. I lost my dad a year ago and it really hurts, so I grasp how you might be feeling.

On one hand, like I told my Mom once he passed, it is important to ignore things that go bump in the night for a while, to not let your imagination feed into starting to think something is going on. If Dad would not do that alive, he won't be doing it when he's dead. He would not be doing weird things that might scare her.

On the other hand, I am not a believer in denying that things do happen and communication can occur at times. The coin is an interesting thing to happen. I might chalk that up to her letting you know she is alright and still kicking on the other side, but, this is just me. I might take it as her validating survival. The other things, I would blame on forgetfulness and relax and try to not feed my imagination or work myself up and make it more than it is. Grief is harsh enough without all that and I doubt she'd want that for you. But, one validation? Yeah, to me, I'd buy that. My Dad validated his own way for me that he did live on, so I am sure others try to.

In any case, I am sorry for your loss and grief and wish you well. Others will be along with their opinions I imagine, this is just my own.

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Hi, thank you for your response! Have read it over and over... It hasn't been a scary feeling at all I've just felt like I'm going crazy for thinking things are happening that aren't the norm that we are suppose to feel as humans I suppose. And yes the little things I've chalked them up as forgetfulness, over thinking etc. 

The grief has been overbearing at times! I find myself crying by tears running down my face before I realize it's actually tears... I know greif comes in waves and you have to deal with them as they come. Maybe things that have happened have been a coping mechanism during the harder days idk. 

I really appreciate your help and thoughts I've not talked to anyone close to me regarding anything that's happened other than my husband and he wasn't so responsive kinda blew it off like I should I guess.

Again, thank you very much you've been more helpful than you probably know.

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Oh, and the coin incident.. we're both still a bit freaked out about. It's an 1899 silver dollar passed down from his dad to his brother then to him when they passed. I had it put up went to look for it a few yes ago never found it. We looked forever! Then it simply appeared. But your right maybe it was mom letting us know she's ok bc she knew how much it meant to us/him.

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Not A Rockstar

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This is all normal grief processing, and will decrease over time as you adjust to the loss. If it does not, then consider seeking out grief counselling. You sound normal to me, though, and at about the on year point, Mom was starting to stop with the sudden grief spells and be able to talk about Dad evenly. Give yourself a break :) 

Hope your holiday seasons are happy and bring you closer to those you love. 

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White Crane Feather

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Don’t feel crazy Mary. My dad actually called me on his birthday after he passed. I know how you are feeling. Then he hung out with me in my dreams for a while until I told him he had to go because it was disturbing me. If you feel like the little things are to much, simply set some boundaries and say it out loud.  

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