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The Darkness of The Deep

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God Is Surprisingly Close

Not A Rockstar


So many reject the idea of a god using the points of one religion or another. I can relate. I was beaten and exorcised by overzealous relatives as a child to "save" my soul and get rid of the voices and visions I was having. Ostracism was a way of life for me, always being viewed as trouble, something bad or wrong, for most of my most impressionable years. Yet, I had it easy, really. I lived. Some do not. Extremes are not good, no matter what one wishes to talk about.

Yet, it did work, in a large sense, just not the way my very naïve and misled kin expected. It worked because the real God, The Source, Creator Mother/Father doesn't fit in any religions. Not the real deal. God is not there. God may be around, one can find Source anywhere, but all of it is not there. A true religion is simple, it tells you you are LOVED just as you are, like any child of sane and normal parents. It also tells you that in love, you are expected to go out and play and learn and evolve in your relationship with Source just like you grow and get to know your mortal parents and family. You are expected to do well in life, to do good, learn from mistakes and go on wiser, and to be busy in those positive things that bring you happiness and joy. It is really very simple, and not one of the buildings I ever found had that kind of religion. They add rules and controls and definitions of those who do not belong and punishments and force and all that messiness which is NOT rooted in love. When they are really out of balance, they preach love but become the very thing they hate the most, same as all other things that get into the judgment cycle and mindset. Some do better, but they are weak because they do not then replace their own lack of rules with the tools that can set a person free on a personal journey with Source.

If you grow enough to know there has got to be a place like that, of sunshine and truth, you end up outside the building, feeling guilty and worried about poking into other ideas and philosophies you were told were bad, and drag a lot of baggage along. It is a tough place to be to seek God but feel like you can't connect, can't find Him anywhere. Not in a real, living way. In the end, many give up, or get bitter and accept "truth" as being there is no God at all, and if the way to Him is by submitting to some religious path you don't buy into then to hell with it then. 

If there is a God and He really loves you, what kind of haphazard system is this, where if you fail to recognize the right church or temple or book, you end up in hell forever and ever anyway? My question was how can I love Jesus, and God, so very much and yet be cursed, damned, on the highway to hell for these things I was born with - seeing things and dreams and visions? How is that even fair?

My answer was to end the confusion and debate internally by deciding that God and Love was truth, and those who spoke contrary to it were the wrong voices to hear. I was driven inward by the disapproval and feeling so alone, and found out, that like anywhere else, God was there, too. He just was way closer and easier to touch and talk to and love. Still, it took me years before I realized that this was literal. If we have a drop of the Divine essence as our immortal spirit inside us, then it was really that close, not out there, it was right here, to grab and hold and get to know. 

I know, what the heck am I talking about? For me, through meditation, inwardly, I realized that we all have this drop of God, as it were inside, and we can ask to be shown what it is we don't understand about it. Creator is right there, inside us all, plenty close enough to love and be loved by and find out this union can ignite and change everything for us. Our journeys to discover this differ but the result of that moment of waking up to the simplicity that we ARE a drop of Creator, hence already "saved" and safe and always were in the eternal sense is the same. It is a flash of inexplicable bliss and influx of love, and life and freedom there are no words for. 

You ARE a child of God, and always were. What you do with it and how you react to this awakening is the real journey. That was just the beginning, the birth as it were. 

There is a lot of madness to comprehend out there in the world, most of it comes down to people doing things they should not. It is too easy to say "Well, if there is a God, why did this happen?" It happened because someone who was a child of God did something evil with his free will, like any brat or ignorant child can, with terrible repercussions. Given free will, we have the potential to destroy the world or make a paradise. We are going to range from serial killers to saints, with most of us falling in the average ranges. 

When so many here do not see how utterly beautiful they are, how overwhelmingly loved they are, how tremendous their own potential is … how can the world not be the way it is? Nobody does very well if they do not know, really know, how deeply loved they are. If you are like me, that need to be loved is a cavern nothing can fill, in truth, when you are dead honest with yourself and see into your own guts clearly. Try all you may, drugs, sex, money, thrills, it is the black hole of inner reality. The only thing that fulfills it is the awakening and simple acceptance, simple realization, that the love from Source can fill it. It is the only thing big enough because YOU are that big inside yourself. You are Source yourself, just a droplet perhaps, but Source yourself. 

Break the code on that and reality starts opening up. You can go as far as you want down that road. 

Given that, religions drop to what they really are good for. They are social constructs and can be fun, bonding, healing, and wonderful, in their right place for the individual. Within them, people can wake up, but, that is really not where they shine. 

This is what "Awakening" is. I see the term being thrown around a lot out there in the spiritual circles. Everyone is talking about "awakening" and "ascension" and "enlightenment". It is real, but it is relative. It begins with realizing you are already a drop of the Divine, you are loved, so start working on loving yourself back and realizing this is no way for a child of God to be feeling, or doing or believing about their own parent and life. You have to begin with yourself, learn to love yourself, learn to walk and talk and see your own value in God's eyes before you can more easily see the value and beauty in others and that there IS no need to be afraid. God is not going to toss you into hell someday. God doesn't hate you. But, given free will, you might for a while. There is so very much more to you than you know.

If you have had enough of looking for answers out here, are serious, but find this hard to grasp, then get help. It is as simple as asking for it and then letting it reveal the truth to you. "Help me, show me, what the hell is he talking about? God if you are real, if you are there, show me, show me who I am and who you are, because I am kind of dying inside here."  The answer comes in direct proportion to how sincere you are when you ask. We don't have the words for you, but your own soul, your own higher self, does and is always waiting for you to pick up the inner phone and call home. Nobody knows you better, or loves you more. No one else has to know you made the call, either. Phone home and don't ever hang up. That is the ticket. No rules or religion about it. Use it any time.

Please, don't take my word for it. 

I write to serve.

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