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The Darkness of The Deep

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Kundalini Rising: One Year On

Not A Rockstar


It has been a bit over a year since my first post on Kundalini and my personal experience with it when it came in spontaneously and unexpected. A few here are interested and have asked me to keep posting now and then about it, so here is the One Year On post for you :) 

It was said recently on the forum I read at to learn more about it that Kundalini is not the Life Force, but the Evolution Force. The more I ponder that idea, the more it fits, actually, as an answer to what it really is. Descriptions of it are many and varied, but, what it does, the result, would have to be transformative, evolutionary - it is a force for change. 

For some, that change is disruptive, painful, even disastrous. For others, it is healing and a generator for needed change and fresh insights. Never is it inactive if the activation is genuine.

Recently, I read about a person claiming they got their K active finally after a lot of effort and wanted help and explanations for all the spirits around and talking to her and causing issues. Others advised her to see what her doctor had to say about it and her reply was the standard "I am not crazy, these spirits are real." I stayed off the topic entirely, as I have learned a few things over the past year more deeply than ever. One is that people will not listen or change until they mature enough to recognize wisdom when it is offered, and when it comes to spiritual things, you also have to evolve enough to realize how very much of a scenario life actually is, the critical reality is elsewhere, and our personal ego and pride are baggage more than anything else. 

Kundalini is similar to early shamanic breakage and illness, when you begin the process of either deliberately making small fractures in your matrix and perceptions of reality or suffer it happening to you. Compared to the average Joe out there, it actually is a form of mental illness and aberration for a while and some can work through it and others find it working through them and sometimes landing them in mental health units. In Shamanism, most do not get that level of breakage and typically do not land in that extreme of crisis. In Kundalini, many do, for a range of reasons, and for some it may take years to get back to a degree of normalcy. For a few, maybe next life they can get it further along in a better way. The difference is that Shamanism is a man made construct and tool for touching the Other Side and communicating on some level. Kundalini is not man made. It is primordial, divine and when it comes along it has goals and a nature of that kind, with an eternal point of view. You can negotiate to a degree, but, it will work to complete at any price. You asked, you gave permission, so it has a job to do and it will do that, period.

"But, NAR, you said this surprised you, you never asked for it, in the beginning. You said you had no idea what it even was."

Yes, and I believed that and have had to go a long way into it to begin to understand better the sheer length of time this can entail, the majesty of eternity and being eternal beings (as we all are) experiencing temporary incarnations. The ease I have had with it, compared to many who have needed mental health crisis intervention, or at least have suffered extreme kryas and other issues, infers that I have had experience with it before. If that is true, then I asked for it at some point. Kundalini does not just jump an innocent person going about their business and not wanting it, nor ever asking for it. Given that I am not some powerhouse guru of K, I was probably minor before when I did it and am happily minor now. I feel no desire to ever BE a guru of it, I only want to be the best person I can be in this life, cover all the lost ground I can, and finish well. My life purpose is to help others, encourage them and heal a few as I am healed back by a few and their compassion when I hurt. I write to share basics so others may not have to stumble around as many years as I did back in the earlier days of the occultic explosion of the 60's and 70's. There is so much sheer bull crap out there that maybe someone will read something I say and skip a few piles of it as they choose.

Another reason I have had so few issues with it is that I did not force it. I did shamanism the long way, I did not use drugs to break myself. I did not do that for K either. I meditated, yes, and have for decades, but, that is no crime nor is it a red flag to call for K to come and jump you. I have done aggressive shadow work on myself for a long time, over twenty years of it, and this is the biggest help right there. If you take out your own trash, then K has less to rip out and leave you hanging and feeling like a gutted fish being beaten by all that inner darkness let loose abruptly.

I get asked by many very solid and sincere people how they can work toward an awakening of their own Kundalini. I very much suggest they work hard on their shadow self and get conversant with Jung's work in this arena. There is a lot of information out there now, in books and online. The more you learn your inner demons and release and integrate those forces the stronger you will become and more in control of your self and your own thoughts and mind. Meditation is also excellent for similar reasons. You simply must get those mind monkeys on leash and work toward living in the NOW, at least for periods of time. From what I have observed and learned, the more you do this the more you will begin to experience flashes of K as it starts to respond in a healthier way to your intention and efforts. As it does, learn how to ground it and keep it at stages you can handle and observe and grow with.

We HAVE everything we need within us to excel already. We just do not listen to it. Every time I see a post from someone asking about their own "abilities" I know they are not nearly what they suppose yet, and aren't able to hear their own "people". As long as you are seeking something out here, you aren't going to find much but others who also don't know. It is all inside. Nothing so critical as awakening was left to chance. You come with it, in case you opt in this lifetime to work with that potential everyone has.  

If there remains more interest, I may talk about some things I have gone through, but, really. I began this series a year ago just to offer a different voice, apart from those posting in crisis and feeding into the nuts claiming it is demonic possession and the anti-Christ even. 

I write to serve.


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Not A Rockstar


sorry about that. I had this set for four days from now, but it went immediate :( 

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Goddess of the Mist


Thanks for the update, Rockstar. I think a couple of the key points we can take from this is how highly personal this experience is,  and how important it is to live in the NOW. It is, after all, the only thing that really exists. :)

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